LuLu: I have this friend who always "unintentionally' (though now she mentions it so often I think it is intentional) asserts her rich status over me. She'll be complaining about how her parents abandoned her in Korea, when she knows very well all of us want to go to Korea ourselves. We tell her she is rich, which she is, but she stubbornly refutes it. She always says that she has no money, when it is quite obvious with all the brand name merchandise she has and the size of her house, er, mansion. She always goes on vacations out of country. By now she does a sort of humble brag about her "richness" and it pisses me off completely. I'm becoming more blunt and snappish at her, and always feel guilty afterwards. I just want her to mature already and admit she's rich and move on with her life instead of indirectly rubbing in my face every day how she got to go to Asia, how she got to meet so-and-so kpop idol. I'm not being insensitive, because now she can't start another conversation with me unless it's to brag about something. I'm currently avoiding her. What should I do, oh wise one? D:

Friend: Dear LuLu,

It seems like your friend is one of those people who just love seeking attention from others. It’s not unintentional if the person constantly mentions it; it’s a clear sign that she wants you and everyone to know about it. Here’s what I think you should do(:

Next time she starts gloating about her glorious life, ignore it. Don’t contradict her, don’t compliment her, and don’t encourage her to say that she isn’t – that’s exactly what she wants to hear from you. You see, because she continues to say these negative things she knows isn’t true, she’s waiting for you all to bring her back up and shower her in contradictions and compliments. In her mind this is a simple way for her to receive attention from you guys with the addition of a compliment on how rich and fortunate she is to be in Korea, as oppose to you guys whose dream it is. It’s a subtle way for her to think that she’s better than you and, like you said so yourself, “assert her rich status” over you.

So next time she says how she’s “poor” or “misfortunate” to be stuck in Korea, ask her why she thinks that. She may give you the popular response, “because it’s true.” So in reply to that, show her that it isn’t. Calmly explain to her how you and your friends are tired of hearing how she continues to complain about her life when in all honesty it’s anything but worth complaining about. There is such a thing as being humble while mentioning something good about yourself, however if it comes to a point where you constantly brag about it; then there’s nothing humble about it.

It’s always hard when you lose patience with a friend, but it doesn’t mean it can’t be fixed(: Everybody snaps at one point and it’s up to you guys to simply forgive and forget. Talk it out with your friend, explain to her how you feel like every time you guys talk it’s only about her and not you or anything else. Nobody can read minds, so your friend can’t possibly know how you feel if you keep it all in your head. Try and show her how you feel like your friendship is currently one-sided, her being the one to control the conversations about only her life. Afterwards, starts sharing some tidbits on how your life is. Don’t let this be all about her, it’s a friendship after all and that usually includes the participation of two or more people. Maybe she’s just waiting for you to cut in and start mentioning about your life.

If it’s a friendship worth saving then you guys can overcome this little challenge ;)

Hope everything goes smooth sailing from this point onwards(:

~(Chingu) 친구