Anonymous: My mom and dad are always telling me how imperfect I am. They always use these bad things against me but, they never mention the things I'm good at. They always say how perfect my brother is and always compares me to him. They won't accept the fact that I can't be exactly like my brother and that's what angers me. In the past I always mentioned how I wanted to commit suicide or run away from home and I really want don't want to go back to those days. I really just need advice so, help?

Friend: Dear Anonymous,

No parent should ever downgrade their own child and point out their flaws because I guarantee you that they have their own imperfections as well. It’s hard being cast in the shadow of a sibling, but I bet that you have some amazing qualities about yourself that your parents just need to see(:

Parents shouldn’t compare their children to one another because in all honestly, every child is special. I know you may be thinking, “Wow, how cheesy/corny/etc.” But it’s true. Every child was given a chance at life and it should be cherished. Your older brother may be a great child in your parent’s eyes and they just can’t help but compare him to you. You just have to show them how amazing you are in your own way. They may say your brother is perfect, but let’s be honest, is he really? He may seem like it but I’m sure he makes mistakes every once in a while just like we all do. You just need to find a way to step outside of your brother’s shadow, and show yourself(:

You may not be the exact same replica of your brother and you might be taking a different path in life and that’s absolutely fine.  If your parents can’t see the great things about you, point them out yourself. Next time you got an exceptional score on a test, casually slip it into your conversation with your mom or dad. Your teacher tells you you’re one of her best students? Go ahead and toss that into the conversation as well(: Sometimes we have to boost ourselves up ourselves. There’s no shame in being good at something or having something good happen to us(: Your parents just need to see that you have far more positive qualities about yourself than those silly imperfections they may be pointing out.

Explain to your parents how you and your brother are completely different people. It doesn’t matter if you guys share the same blood or DNA, you weren’t born to be an exact copy of him. You have your own path to follow and your own dreams you want to go after and accomplish.

The thought of committing suicide or running away from home is a serious matter. No one should be reduced to such thoughts. I know this may be hard to say out loud, but I think you should mention this to your parents. Explain to them how their words are causing you to go into that path, it’ll surely open their eyes to realize the damage they’ve done. It’ll be a rude awakening for any parents to think that their daughter/son wants to end their life or run away, but I think it’s just the thing they’ll need to hear to really open their eyes. They should realize how their constant words towards you are hurting you and they should stop. After realizing their wrong doings, they should change for the better.

Everyone has imperfections, so please don’t feel bad about yourself! (I feel like the readers are tired of hearing me say this but) We’re human, no one’s born without imperfections and no one’s perfect. Our flaws are what make us who we are and they’re the things that set us apart from one another. Sure you may not be good at one thing, but who says you have to be? You may be better at something else(:

I hope everything goes well for you Anonymous, feel free to write back telling me how things go(:

~(Chingu) 친구