Anonymous: Alright, I feel really horrible for saying this- but this annoying seven year old girl keeps inviting herself over and she keeps making me play with her. I mean, I don't mind playing with her but she comes every single day, and I barely have time to do anything I want.

It's a holiday and I can't even do anything anymore. I can't sleep in 'cause she comes early in the morning and makes my older brother wake me up. I tried locking the door and ignoring, but my brothers have the keys to my room.

I can't even play on the computer like I usually do, 'cause she keeps coming over. It's really starting to irritate me. And if I don't play with her, I get called a b*tch by my brothers. But of course, they don't get how I feel because they're not the ones having to play with her every single day.

When she comes, she messes up my room and touches everything like its hers. Like my oil paint that I actually NEED for school. When I try telling her not to play with this, or that, she ignores me and pretends she can't hear me.

I know, I know. She's just an innocent little kid who wants to play with me. I get it, my brothers tell me that all the time. But I'm just a teenage girl who wants to enjoy her holiday before it ends! But how the hell do I do that when I can't don't even have time for myself? I don't want to be mean and tell her not to come over, and I don't want to talk to her parents about it too cause it's embarrassing and seems rude.

So what do you think I should do?

Friend: Dear Anonymous,

First off, I applaud you for being the mature and patient person in the matter. Heck, you’re an even more mature person than your brothers, both younger and older. Here’s what I think you should do:

First, calmly sit the girl down and have a talk with her. Like you said so yourself - she’s an innocent little kid. Kids (especially seven year olds) are at a stage where they’re still learning right from wrong. You may have lightly told her not to do this or that, but you have to make sure the message gets across to her. She’s ignoring you because it seems as if you have no power or authority over her, she doesn’t see you as anything more of a threat than a fellow playmate. Make sure that the next time you tell her not to do something, be strong. Don’t turn into the mean nanny, but put your foot down the next time she disobeys your orders. She’s still learning and it’s up to you to teach her that when she’s over your house, she has to go by your rules and not hers. If she listens and does a good job, offer her a reward(: Kids love snacks, treats, pretty much anything. Even a simple praise can bring a smile to their faces knowing they did something right.

Be the parent and explain to her how you can’t play with her every single day. You have your own life you want to live and enjoy and she needs to understand that. You say she continues to ignore you and pretend to not hear you. One way to get rid of that bad habit of hers is to do the same to her. I know it may seem like a hard and mean thing, but maybe she just needs that little push to know that you’re done being pushed around by her. When she finally gets the message, ask her if she’ll listen to you now the next time you ask her to do something. Discipline is hard for both the adult and child, but in the end it’ll be worth it.

Your brothers are another story. As the older brothers, they shouldn’t be calling you a “b*tch” because quite honestly, you’re doing a better job at being the mature one than they are. Try and compromise with your brothers that maybe you all can work out a schedule to play with the girl. Maybe you can play with her on Monday, and then one of your brothers can play with her on Tuesday, etc. They don’t understand what you go through when playing with the little girl every day. So why not give them a taste of that and see how they like it ;)

You seem like a very humble and kind person Anonymous, but there needs to be a limit to your kindness. Otherwise, you’ll only get pushed around. You may think it’s rude and embarrassing to tell her parents about their daughter constantly coming over and bothering you, but it’s not. Would you rather live the rest of your life being invaded by the little girl every day? What’ll happen when you need to study for finals and she comes barging in demanding to play?

Put yourself in her parent’s position, would you want your daughter to constantly impose on a neighbor? Don’t burst into their house and begin complaining though! Simply explain to them that you aren’t able to look after their daughter every day because you’re busy with other things you have to attend to. They should understand that and, as the parents, should be able to take care of the situation involving their own daughter. Calmly explain to them how you have no problem playing with their daughter, but you can’t do so every day. Ask them to have a talk with their daughter. After all, they are her parents. Who else will she listen to if not them?(:

Patience is very important when dealing with kids and you seem like you’re doing great in that department. Don’t be too hard on the girl, she may just be lonely and want your company(:

Hope everything goes well(:

~(Chingu) 친구