Mrs.Girl: Well it started in elementary.So there was me, (ill make up some names) Jane, Angie, and Kim( Jane, Angie ,and I were friends since Kindergarten and Kim came around Gr.5). The four of us were very good friends. So back then I had this other friend that like to talk to me about Korean Dramas and it didn't bug me at all i liked talking to her about that kind of stuff. So then Kim over heard us and it just so happen she was into kpop (not so much in the drama area) but it was ok because i wasn't just interested in dramas but also idols. So then we just talked about that and so then Angie got into kpop because we talked about it often (Jane didnt really get into kpop). So soon we talked about kpop together as three and it was really nice. But then Angie started to get annoyed at how Kim wanted to move to Korea, I personally had no problem with that but Angie sure did. She started calling Kim a Korea-boo I thought it was very mean but she was my best friend since kindergarten so i took her side. But i feel like i shouldn't have because Kim was so nice and Angie really grew an attitude over the years. For example at that time this other friend tried to help (you know because it was just in her nature to) and so she told Kim that WE wanted her to stop talking and obsessing over Korea/Koreans(because Angie told things to other people)and so then very loudly Angie told her to 'stop it''I hate you''Don't talk to me' Witch was very mean. But her comeback was 'ok' and i respect her so much for that. I told Angie that that was mean and she just started to act like that argument never happened. Ok example over. Well from then on we just grew apart but luckily it was almost the end of Gr.6. But we end up going to the same jr.high, yup all four of us (and a lot of our other elementary friends). So now were in Jr. High together. For the summer I went to Hong Kong and China which mean i bought kpop (Because now i have to secretly like kpop) so because i felt like a made a very bad choice i bought Kim something kpopie and she loved it, she was so happy. And we became friends. I know its not a fake one for gifts and stuff because shes just so nice to me and i feel like ive been friends with her for a very long time.

So for our first home room I was with Kim but it all changed about 2 weeks into school because my school hired 1 more teacher for Gr.7 homerooms because there was a lot of us. So the i got switched into the new teachers HR but at very very last minute she switched two people for Angie and Jane (I acted happy). Us three were still friend but when i wanted to make new friends they would cling on to me and follow me where ever i went and it was so hard to make friend with them there (TBH i think im more 'popular' then them because they always just hangs out with our old class mates witch isn't bad but there not making new friends so they continue to cling on to me but the thing is that when the come with me when i go meet other people they just chase each other around playing by themselves but i think that Jane is also quite 'popular because she was in a different homeroom before and knows other people but Angie really has no new friends. And not to mention he attitude has gotten worse. For another example when you try to get her attention and she just so happens to be speaking with someone else she will yell "SHUT UP IM TALKING TO SOMEONE ELSE RIGHT NOW" its not anyone else its just me and Jane she yells at but when shes done talking she turns around and says "ok what do you want" and now we don't really want to tel her.) But anyways now Kim has found other friends who like kpop and also toned it down a bit. I also want to be in that group, and talk about kpop too but im afraid that Angie might follow.

And also i have yearbook club with them and sometimes they need to go to newspaper club which i didn't join because its during lunch recess and i figured great some personal time.

Because i just so happen to have homeroom and options with them so im with them where ever i go.

So now we are growing apart but they still follow me. And plus theres this new girl and i honestly don't like her. I think Angie only likes her because she studied Japanese and speaks it(she not Japanese)(I dont even think she speaks it that well)(lets call her MJ) So MJ apparently knows how to speak German, French, Polish, etc. and it just so happens i am way better at French than her. And so when we were talking about shoes we mention that her shoes are really high (there like the ones that Bratz wear)she then remarks them as her 'babys' Then i mention my shoes witch i got for 50 buck (which is pretty cheap for Adidas).

So then she says "REALLY I got my shoes from VALUE VILLAGE for 5 bucks". And so Angie and Jane practically almost replaced me with her! But TBH im sort of OK with that. but i really want to talk with Justine about kpop again should i tell her that? I feel like im a bad friend towards Kim...

Friend: Dear Mrs.Girl,

Friendship is all about honesty, trust, and compromise. These three elements are what make a smooth and lasting friendship and without one of the other, it may be hard to make it last. Yet every dilemma can be solved, including the one that you’re in(:

From what you’re telling me, Kim seems like such a sweetheart and a friend worth holding onto. She’s mature enough to not reply with any sort of snarky comeback when Angie bashed on her, and she shows that she can be loyal and trustworthy. These are great traits that are rare to find and should be treasured(: Like you said so yourself, Kim’s really nice and you both have a love for kpop. If you both connect with one another so well, then I see no reason you need to hold back or feel like you shouldn’t be friends with her.

That little incident in which you sided with Angie was just a mistake, yet we all make mistakes and it’s our duty to learn from them whether they are big or small. From my point of view, Kim did nothing wrong and it may have hurt her a little to see you turn your back on her and side with Angie. Yet at the time, you probably didn’t think of the aftermath and decided your choice in the spur of the moment. However, based on how you’re describing Kim she doesn’t seem one to hold grudges. If she’s willing to put the past behind her then you should as well. If the topic does come up, do try and squeeze in a little apology to show her that you didn’t mean to hurt her in any sort of way if it did so.

Now moving onto Angie. Even though you and Angie have known each other since Kindergarten, it doesn’t mean that you should continue to be friends with her if she is behaving so negatively. With Angie, you have two options: 1.) You put some distance between you and let the two of you drift apart even more or 2.) You compromise. Like I said in the beginning of this letter, friendship has a lot to do with compromise. If your friend wants to buy the movie tickets, then you let her and you offer to pay for the movie snacks. A random example but I hope you understand what I mean.

If Angie’s attitude is really bothering you, then you need to speak up and let her know. People aren’t capable of reading minds so if you don’t say anything, Angie will only think that what she’s doing is ok by you. If she speaks out and offends someone, try to pull her aside and tell her that it wasn’t a nice thing to do. If she continues to be ignorant and goes about on only her ways, then it’s best to put some distance between the two of you. I don’t mean that you should ignore her and cut off your friendship, but it may seem like the two of you may need some space. And if anything, you can introduce her to some new friends(: Seeing as you know a lot of people, there’s bound to be someone that can relate and be friends with Angie.

Which leads us to our next topic – your friends following you around. The four of you guys just started Junior High Mrs.Girl! Of course they’re all going to cling onto you and keep those they know close. Maybe they aren’t as outgoing as you are and are trying to stay close to you, not wanting to be out there to start new friendships. Some of your friends might just not want to make new friends and others may just be too shy to do so. If anything, it’d be nice of you to step out and introduce some new people to them to let them get to know one another(: One of the key high school experiences is to make lasting memories, have fun, and meet new people(:

As for the new girl MJ, I wouldn’t worry too much about her. Sure she might seem all-that since she’s the “new toy” that came around but your friends should stay loyal and will always have you above MJ(:

One thing I want to tell you Mrs.Girl is that over time, we lose people, gain new ones, and rarely hold old ones. If Kim, Angie, and Jane are really friends that are worth keeping, then all three of you guys will cherish this friendship and fight for it to ensure that it stays tightly knotted(: Yet time and certain events change a person – Angie has changed since kindergarten and I’m pretty sure you have done the same whether you realize this or not. The three of you may be on and off but in the end, things do work out for the best(:

The new year is just around the corner so it’s the perfect time to start clean, turn onto a brand new sheet of paper, and start anew. Make amends, repair friendships, or begin new ones. Whatever the new year holds I’m sure it’ll be great for you(: So sorry I couldn’t get to your letter sooner Mrs.Girl >< I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year(:

~(Chingu) 친구