Anonymous: Hi! I'm not sure if you are accepting requests or not, it didn't say... Sorry if you aren't :(
Anyways, let's call my friend S and my crush M. So lately I've been feeling kind of sad because of this issue (I know I shouldn't be upset over guys but I can't help it). S is a really good friend of mine and she's one of the sweetest girls I've ever met.And then there's M. A guy I've liked for 2 years now and I think likes me back but I can never be too sure. I don't know when this ever started, but suddenly, S has started to hang out A LOT with M and I don't want to be jealous but I am. She spends her lunch with him, and I don't know if she likes him or not, but when I asked her, she said he was just a friend. Also, M has started to talk to me less and hasn't acknowledged me as much as before. Why is it that for some reason I'm still feeling jealous? What should I do??? Also, I want to know if M likes (or liked) me back or not. I catch him staring at me in math class and at lunch, he's always trying to talk to me, and he acts differently when there are other guys around me. However, that all changed after S and him started hanging out. I want to tell her to maybe back off a bit but that would be EXTREMELY selfish of me and COMPLETELY mean, not to mention she's my friend. :((( What do I do?????

Friend: Dear Anonymous,

The minute we start liking a guy we do several things – overreact, over examine, and overthink. First thing I want to tell you Anonymous is to breathe. Take a deep breath and calm down because what you may think is a crisis, is in fact just a misunderstanding.

First thing’s first – have faith in your friend. Like you said so yourself, she’s the sweetest girl you’ve ever met and she’s a really good friend of yours. I see no reason for you to think that she may back stab you in any way. The fact that she’s been hanging out with him a lot is simply just as she’s said it herself – they’re just friends. Anonymous, if she’s really your friend then she won’t advance any moves on him or any of the sort. She may in fact just find him to be a good guy who she’s befriended since they have lunch together. And the fact that they are good friends, you can even get S to help you out and put in a good word about you to him ;]

Secondly, you have no claim over this guy Anonymous. I understand that he’s your crush but since neither of you have confessed or became an official couple, he isn’t yours or your friends or anybody’s for that matter. I’ll give you a little hint when it comes to boys Anonymous – they don’t like it when a girl clings on to them too much. They’d rather have a girl pretend like she doesn’t care and surprise them with her affection, rather than one that’s always waiting on them and desperately trying to be their girlfriend. If you act cool and calm around him and play your cards right, he may be yours in a snap ;]

The fact that he has talked less with you may be an overreaction. He may be more busy now so the fact that he’s been talking with S may not have anything to do with it. Try to be rational and not overreact Anonymous, over thinking will only lead in disaster. I can’t tell you whether he likes you or not because I don’t know him in person and just because he glances at you every now and then doesn’t mean he’s head over heels in love with you, it may just mean that he’s interested or just wants to talk to you and get to know you better.

Sorry I couldn’t reply to your letter sooner Anonymous. Hope you had a safe Christmas and I wish you a Happy New Years

~(Chingu) 친구