iSoul : It seems so unbelievable but my friends have constantly been telling me that I'm living a fanfic life right now.
You see, I'm no special pretty girl or anything, but I currently have 3 guys liking me right now. Used to be 4. ( i cleared things up with the last guy and we're just friends now.) While 3 other guys are unknown but people have been claiming that they like me. And then one enemy...sorta guy..
So let's just named them guy A,B, and further one.
Guy A had been liking me ever since 5th grade and he is still now. People have been calling him obsessed with me but I don't think of him that way. He's been liking me for over 3 years now and he hasn't given up. He's really sweet when it comes to me and everything but people at my school don't like him since he tends to act dramatic and is annoying and stuff. I feel bad for him since his feelings for me has gone to the extent where it can be called love. I hate hurting people. I'm the type that worries about everyone and can't seem to hurt them, but I honestly don't like him. I only see him as a friend but he gets that too, but still seems to be chasing after me.
Let's move onto guy B. I'm not close to him that much. It started when he got assigned to sit next to me in violin class. We started talking and he started to follow me around. He gets so so touchy and invades my personal space. It seems weird but I have a thing against guys touching me. Some guys are okay but Guy B is seriously invading my personal space. I tried to get the point across to him but he doesn't seem to get it. I then had to pretend I was my best friend on my Facebook to get the point across to him. It's seriously effecting me since I'm seriously having something against guys touching me. I instinctly start flinching and my first reaction is to want to either slap or punch them. He constantly calls me every moment of the day too which is really annoying and it makes it seem almost as if he's my stalker. (which he isn't).
Then this is a sort of special case with Guy C. It seems to fake but trust me it's real. Um, it's actually a cool case though. You see, he has this childhood friend ever since he was young. They really liked each other. But then sadly, something bad happened to her.He was going to ask her out on her birthday, but then that night, She got rapped.  while all he could do was get beatened up while watching.. He really loved her. He actually still visits her grave every week or so. Now the weird thing is..he's fallen for me. At first I didn't get why he liked me so much but then he finally told me about the girl. Seems that I'm an exact replica of her. Just a bit in looks, but we're like twins in personality. He keeps on repeating over and over that he loves me but I can't help thinking that he doesn't. That he just misses her so much, and since I'm so like her, he claims that he loves me. Help?
The rest are the 3 other guys that people are suspecting like me. The first one, our relation is normal. I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me so we can skip him. That leaves me with two other guys.
The first one is actually a childhood friend of mine. Calling him guy D. Funny thing is, even though we know each other since we were young, he's still awkward around me. He isn't the type to talk often and such, but I'm glad that over 10 years, he's finally opened up to me. He lives far away from my place, about an hour drive or so, so we only see each other about once every 3 months or so. He's actually popular in his school but he doesn't talk to girls, he told me that I'm actually one of the rare girls that he talks to. Idk why but I feel happy whenever I'm around him. I actually don't know if I like him or not but I feel special that I'm a girl he's close too. I'm actually not sure about what I feel for him. My friends have been constantly saying that he probably likes me and I like him too but I honestly don't know.
Now moving onto the next guy, (guy e) we go to viet school together. He's the joking, teasing type and he's one of the guys that I'm actually okay to have skinship with (just like hugs and stuff like that.) I only thought of him as a friend, but then there was one day, he did something that made me so confused. I kept thinking about it for a couple weeks. We were on a team to be in a competition and he had extra classes. It was our break time, me him and another guy friend decided to have a tickle war in one of the classroom. I know we're childish but yeah..^^ The thing is we play it in complete darkness. And the awkward thing is....we started just playing right? But then, a couple minutes into the game, whenever he caught me by my hand, he would pull me into a hug. And no not just a hug, but it's one of those really deep and sincere hugs. Like, he would hold onto me really tightly. We'll just stand there in awkward silence, his head is practically snuggled into my neck. I was frozen at first but it happens a couple more times, and I hugged him back.. I really don't know what that was supposed to mean but I was really confused. When we were walking, talking to each other, I swear, absolutely SWEAR he said "I love you" to me. But when I asked him, he said "what? i was just kidding.." I'm supeerr confused..
And onto the last one (guy f)...we are enemies. Like he teases me so much and we almost practically hate each other. Idk why but I grew attached to his teasing. One day, he didnt tease me anymore and i was wondering what was wrong. After a week, I saw him holding hands with the new transfer girl. Idk why but I had this weird feeling in my stomach as i watched them. I always thought of him as a mean guy.. we argue at school and viet school. But then..that viet school day, he showed me a different side of him.. We had a party that day and I was about to take my food and sit alone, but he came by and was like "Why sit out in the sun? It's hot..come over to the shade with me." I was surprised but I followed him. We started talking and that was the first time we didn't argue. He talked about his childhood memories in vietnam and we actually laughed and everything at each other. He plays with children and showed me this new different childish side of his. He then told me his gf was mad at him since he teases and talked to me too much. After a while, we never talked, only when we pass by each other to head to 5th period. It's weird but I feel happy everytime he talked to me. The way he smiled to me one day..I couldn't get it out of my head. I don't know if i like him or not...It's confusing. And since he already has a girlfriend, I don't want to be the third wheel. But we've all noticed that he seems so uncomterable around his gf for some reason... I dont even know I like him anymore but I dont think about him from time to time...
I'm confused on what to do. I have no idea if I have feelings for my childhood friend (guy d) and  guy e. And then guy f...I'm confused. So so so confused. This has been such a LOONNGG letter. I'm sorry but I had to get everything out. Can you please help me?.. Some advice will help alot? Saranghae~ ^^

Friend: Dear iSoul,

Your life sounds like an endless roller coaster ride! Sure seems like a lot of drama is heading your way if this keeps up at the pace you’re going, but have no fear. Half of your story seems like it can easily be cleared up and taken care of(:

It’s great that you’re a kind person who’s so considerate of others, but don’t let that trait lead your entire life. Sometimes we have to sacrifice some things in order to get to where we truly wanna be in life. I know it’ll be hard to let Guy A down easily, but you need to give him some closure. If he continues to chase after you, it’ll only be like you’re leading him on and that’s never good. He should move on and realize the fact that although you are touched by his unwavering feelings, he should only see you as you see him as nothing more than a friend. Really emphasize on that relationship because unless you firmly explain to him that his love is one-sided, he’ll continue to chase after you on that tiny speck of hope you may be giving him. It’s never a great feeling for any guy or girl to be put into the friend zone, but if you have no desire to be anything beyond friends with Guy A, then you should make sure he gets the point clearly. If it doesn’t work with that simple talk, then put a little bit of distance between you two. I don’t mean to ignore him every day for a month! I just mean that, if you guys talk every day and you’re the one initiating the conversation, take a break from it all. Don’t be the one to always give him the first “hey.” By putting some space in between you guys, it’ll let you take a breather for once and maybe he’ll do the same(:

As for your Guy B situation, I think you should let him know that his constant physical affection is making you feel uncomfortable. It isn’t weird to have something against a guy touching you, if you feel violated then you’re free to tell the other party that you feel that way. Otherwise they won’t understand and think it’s ok to do whatever they want. Invading your personal space is a big red light, why should you feel like you need to endure that kind thing just because the guy is ok with it? Next time he places his arm around your shoulder, feel free to remove it with your own hand and tell him that you don’t like it when he casually touches you like that. Show him that this isn’t alright with you, otherwise he’ll just continue to do so. If his constant calling is annoying you, then let him know. I know we’ve come across that situation again where you don’t want to hurt the person’s feelings, but will you really rather endure all of this?  If he calls you and you aren’t in the mood to talk to him, tell him that you’re busy or you don’t have time. He should understand that you can’t talk and, hopefully, understand the message. If his constant callings continue, you may have to tell him the truth straight up. The truth hurts but it’ll set you free and you’ll feel relieved once that heavy weight is lifted off of your shoulders(:

Your situation with Guy C seems like a matter of closure. The poor guy lost his crush on her birthday as a result of a tragic crime. I’m really sorry to hear that for him. I think that the first thing you should do is try and clear his hazy vision of comparing you to his last love. Try and explain to him that even though the two of you may be similar in personality, you two are most definitely not the same person. He may still be blinded by his last love and somewhere deep inside, he refuses to move on. If you have no feelings beyond friendship for him, then I think you should let him know just that. If you continue to let him chase you around thinking that he loves you and one day you’ll feel the same way, then you are only leading the poor guy on. Try to sit down with him and kindly say that you don’t see him as anything more than a friend and he should move on. Try and explain that he probably doesn’t love you but is only holding onto his feelings for his last love, for which you are not. It’ll be hard but I think it’s for the best that he understands this.

Now before I get onto the other three guys that you claim to like you, I wanna say something about the matter. You say people suspect that they like you, but is it really true? For all you know, they could just be rumors spread by people who are only craving for something to start. Unless you hear something from the guys directly themselves, I wouldn’t worry too much about the three guys. You should never whole-heartedly believe rumors because half of the times they are the farthest things from being the truth(:

We all feel happy when a guy we know singles us out from all the other girls in a good way(: It means that you mean something to him, it could be friendly or something else. Don’t automatically jump to the conclusion that Guy D has strong feelings for you because if you run on that hope, what’ll happen if you’re met with disappointment? I mean, you’ve both known each other for 10 years, of course there will be some trust between you two and of course he’ll finally feel comfortable enough to talk with you so openly. He is probably happy himself that he has a friend like you by his side(: I’m sorry if I come off as mean, but I’m only saying this so that your hopes won’t soar through the roof and be met with disappointment if that does happen. It’s great that you feel happy around him, it shows that you guys are pretty close(: Friends wise or relationship wise, I’m not too sure. If you aren’t sure about your feelings for this guy, then it’s better to wait it out and see what’ll happen. Wait for your true feelings to come through so if you realize you do like him, then you can go at it full heartedly(: Just because your friends are always telling you that the two of you like each other, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s true. Who says that your friends can read the both of your minds and determine who you’ll be with and who you won’t? Let’s say you listen to your friends and tell him you think he likes you, what’ll happen if he doesn’t? Talk about an awkward situation. One of the biggest reasons girls are rarely best friends with guys is because they assume that the other ends up liking them. Half of the times it isn’t even true, those times the guy is just starting to open up and feel like the girl is his best friend. Don’t let a misunderstanding tear apart a perfectly good friendship iSoul. If your feelings for him are true, then it seems like you guys have a pretty solid relationship already you can then advance and I wish you the best of luck ;) Just keep in mind that by doing so, you may risk your previous friendship.

Moving onto Guy E, if he doesn’t bring it up then neither should you. You say he is the teasing and joking types so maybe that was all that was to him – a tease and a joke. If he isn’t bringing that day up, then maybe he wants to forget about it himself. Don’t hold onto that one thing because it’ll only have you clinging onto that bit of hope that maybe it was something other than a game to him. If it really continues to bother you, then maybe you should ask him yourself about the incident. Don’t get a friend to ask for you because it’ll only create more confusion and drama. Simple sit down and ask him about it if you’re really confused. Maybe he’ll brush it off and you guys can continue being friends, or maybe he’ll clear things up with you. You’ll never know the outcome unless you ask him first. Until then, I would try to act like you both did before. Better to be safe than sorry iSoul(:

And finally, Guy F. You’re doing the right thing for now iSoul, I never recommend going for a guy if he has a girlfriend. Nobody should be a home wrecker because in all honesty, if you were in the girlfriend’s position, would you yourself want someone to come in and trying to steal your boyfriend? Of course not, no one would want that. Guys are confusing creatures (LOL), I don’t think we’ll ever really understand how their brain works. He seems to have the clingy girlfriend that gets jealous easily, hence why he told you that he stopped hanging around with you so much. If he feels uncomfortable around her then that’s never a good sign. I don’t want you to have false hope that they might break up, because for all we know they could just be having a small argument. It’s hard having lingering feelings for a guy who has a girlfriend, but it’s best to push them aside for now (seeing as he’s taken at the moment). If you yourself aren’t sure about your feelings, then don’t’ go chasing after them blindly. Wait and see if your feelings are 100% true, because if they aren’t then that’ll turn into a huge mess.  You have two options with Guy F iSoul: 1.) You wait for him and his girlfriend to break up so you can move in or 2.) You let go of any feelings you have/had for him and stay in the friend zone. It’s your choice(:

From all that you’ve told me, I think you just need to try and clear things up with those that you’re confused with. Sitting down and asking them about it isn’t a crime iSoul, you just simply want to figure things out yourself(:

Wishing you all the best!

~(Chingu) 친구

P.S. Boy your letter was by far the longest one I’ve received so far :P