34th Friend

Anonymous Friend (친구) - Advice Column

Anonymous: Two years ago, a close friend confessed to me, saying that he was in love with me. I didn't like him that way and for a few months afterwards, there was some tension. During this time, there was Guy 2, who also is in my main circle and is a friend of Guy 1. Guy 2 was the one who introduced me to kpop and therefore has my eternal gratitude! Guy 2 and I became besties and my girl friends tease me about us dating.
Recently, on a FB group convo, Guy 2 was telling me and my friends about the souvenirs he was getting us in Korea. I asked him if he found a BIGBANG CD for me and right afterwards, Guy 1 wrote that Guy 2 and I should start dating. Guy 1 knows that I don't like anyone but one of my other friends told me Guy 1 is still harboring a hope that I'll one day return his feelings. But this hasn't been the first time where Guy 1 has made 'jokes' like that, which I find awkward. Guy 2 knows we're just friends, so I don't know why Guy 1 is doing this. I'm not good with direct confrontation so I don't really know how to address this without making it awkward and hurting Guy 1's feelings. Please help?

Friend: Dear Anonymous,

Seems like you’ve got yourself in a sticky situation. Guys are confusing creatures, I’ve said that so many times and I’ll continue to say so until a book comes out about it (LOL I kid I kid xD).

Don’t let the FB conversation get to you Anonymous, maybe it was nothing more than a joke to them. It’s great that Guy 2 is kind enough to get you a souvenir, don’t let someone’s teasings bum you out. Maybe Guy 1 could be jealous and in fact still be harboring feelings for you, but these are all just big maybe’s. Who’s to say that Guy 1 is simply teasing you like the rest of your friends are?

If you know that you and Guy 2 are nothing more than friends, then don’t let what anyone says get to you. The important thing is that you two understand that it’s a joke and nothing more, so it shouldn’t be viewed as anything other than simply that – a joke. You two seem like great besties (amazing what kpop can do to people xD) so keep at it(:

If the teasings are becoming intolerable, then finally put an end to them. Explain to your friends that you don’t see Guy 1 or Guy 2 as nothing more than friends. Tell them that you understand that they’re just joking and playing around, but you don’t want any of the Guys to get the wrong idea of where they stand between you.

If it’s really bothering you then, although you say you don’t like direct confrontations, maybe that’s just what you’ll need to do in order to settle the matter. Explain to Guy 1 that you find it awkward when he mentions how you and Guy 2 should start dating when the fact of the matter is that you don’t like him or anyone at the moment. If he says it was just a joke then brush it off and have you peace of mind. If he starts mentioning that he still has feelings for you, then you should set him straight and firmly say that you see him as nothing more than a friend. It truly when someone is led on and Guy 1 shouldn’t be the one to suffer.

Hope everything clears up for you Anonymous(:

~(Chingu) 친구

 

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Jia_Yi #1
Chapter 87: Aww you closed :(
Thank you for creaing this advice column !
You have helped me a lot with my problems ~
Once again, thank you very much <3
NanaKirae #2
Chapter 87: I haven't been on AFF for a long time!
You're finally closing? I understand. I'm actually impressed that youbhelped more than 80+ people with this story. I applaud you :)
I'm sure others can learn by reading your advices to other people. I know I did ^^
You're a wonderful person and friend just wanted to let you know that :)
Thank you again for this. <3
aerissiii #3
Chapter 5: wow. i learned a LOT reading this advice column and i'm just in Chapter 5. XD
fairytale-s #4
Chapter 87: thankyou for the advice.
it really helped me alot! c:
it's really sad that you're closing down though. but we'll all understand your difficulties.
e u e
hope we could be friends!
once again, thankyou so much! ;n;
-esque #5
Chapter 87: Omg, I'm so late to see this. This advice column is amazing. ^^; You've helped me more than twice in here actually. >//< There are so many situations that I've come across and mine is almost the exact and your advice has helped so much. To me and many others. Seriously, people need to see this. Why are there only 5 votes? You are, like, seriously the worlds kindest person I've ever come across. You took the time to actually write advice to all of us and help us in our darkest situations. I'll keep those quotes in mind. Thank you so, so much. (: Wish you the best of the best.
luv_kero 2450 streak #6
Chapter 87: Thank you for having this amazing advice column! ^-^ I'll admit that I've asked two questions on here under different names, but I'd like to be discreet for now. Your advice has helped me so much and I cannot express how grateful I am to you for being here. You've helped so many people who were down in the dumps and needed someone to talk to. I'll miss this column so much, but I understand that you have other things to deal with. Once again, thank you so much! :)
BanaaBoom #7
Chapter 87: You've helped so many people, including myself. thanks so much for this! you're an amazing person
--iSoul #8
Chapter 87: Awww. Too bad you're closing this but thank you for all the good advices when they lasted. You have no idea of how much people you've helped and thank you for taking your time to do this ^^
Makirei #9
Chapter 87: Oh my gee. I'm so sad that you're ending the advice column. You helped me so much!
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