Third-Wheel: My friend and her boyfriend have been dating for almost a year now. They like each other for the longest time. They broke up recently and her boyfriend is talking to me. He said, "High school changed me. I'm done falling in love.  I just want to be successful. I don't want any distractions." I understand where he's coming from, but he's throwing their love away as if it's nothing. What should they do?

Friend: Dear Third-Wheel,

Let me tell you that being a third-wheel is never fun. You’re always stuck in the middle but there is a solution where you won’t have to take sides and stay away from the drama while keeping your friends at the same time(: “How is this possible?!” You may ask? Well it all depends on how you play your cards and whether or not your friends are willing to follow along.

First off all, I wonder how the girlfriend is taking all of this. Is she heartbroken or is she celebrating the breakup? If your girl friend is out celebrating and throwing her hands in the air, then it’s probably nothing to worry about. She has moved on and so has the boyfriend. Now, if she’s heart broken and is out eating a pint of ice cream every night, then she definitely needs a friend’s shoulder to cry on (AKA: you). When a girl is going through a heart break, then she’ll want all the support she’ll need from her friends. Let her cry all those bitter tears on your shoulder, hug her and pat her back soothingly, and ensure her that things will be ok. It’ll take her some time but getting over a break up isn’t impossible. Try to take away that pint of ice cream for her because after a few pounds, she’ll regret all those nights of sticking her head into the empty bucket. Keeping her mind occupied will be an easy way to get her mind off of him. Having a girl’s night out and seeing a comedy can go a long way. It’s a simple and casual way of letting her know that you got her back(:

As for the boyfriend, it all depends on his attitude. Does he really not care about her anymore or is he just putting up a front? Some guys can be real jerks and toss their love into the trash bin, never looking back on it. Maybe the two ended badly and he wants to forget. Maybe she dumped him and he wants to get back at her by saying, “I don’t care.” If he’s as heartbroken as she is, then maybe the two of them regret their breakup and have a shot at getting back together. Sometimes life does these little plot twists just to mess with their lives, it all depends on the person on whether they’re going to take on the challenge or walk away from it. If his attitude is really bothering you, then just talk it out with him and figure out what really did happen between the two of them that made him act like this.

Third-Wheel, I want you to know that none of this is your responsibility to take account for. It’s their relationship and not yours, so you can’t be in charge of what’s to happen to it. It’s good to know that you’re a good friend to worry for the two of them, but there’s only so much you can do before they’ll want you to choose between them both. If you want to stay out of it, then you may do just that. You can stay on neutral territory and not take sides for either of your friends. You can be there for both of them and offer them a helping hand, but there’s only so much you can do as a person. Just being there for the two of them is more than enough(: If the guy says he doesn’t care, then it isn’t any of your concern to stick your nose in and investigate the entire crime scene.  

Even when life gets turned upside down, it has a funny way of working out in the end. So sorry for replying so late to your letter Third-Wheel >< Hope everything goes well between the three of you(:

~(Chingu) 친구