Anonymous: Hey ... You probably get a lot of questions regarding to boys problem, but this one is for me and my friend. Okay, so basically I'm trying to lose my feelings for this one guy that I've had a crush on since last year. I was the first to make contact with him but I realized that he probably won't ever like me so I try my best to have little to no contact with him, but when I do he starts coming out of nowhere and starts talking to me when he usually doesn't! I'm confused! How am I supposed to lose my feelings when he keeps showing up? And what does this mean exactly?

Friend: Dear Anonymous,

It’s always hard getting over your old crushes, but there are ways to say the final bye once and for all(:

I don’t think you should’ve automatically left the race before it even started. Who’s to say that you had no chance and that he wouldn’t have ever liked you? How would you know that he wasn’t even considering you as something more than a friend, if you backed out before anything could start? Don’t ever doubt yourself so much Anonymous, because people can still surprise you ;)

You said that you have little to no contact with him – that may be the reason why he’s suddenly talking to you so much. If you guys used to talk a lot, and you suddenly cut him off, that would explain why he’s suddenly talking to you out of the blue. If you guys were friends before, he might be worrying that he did something wrong to upset you. Or he worries that you’re mad at him for some reason. Put yourself in his shoes, if he suddenly stopped talking to you wouldn’t you wonder why he was doing something like that? There might also be the chance he’s missing your company.

There is also the option of him just relying on you as a safety net. He might just be talking to you whenever he feels like it because he seems to think that you’ll always be there for him whenever he wants you to be. If he doesn’t talk to you for weeks and then starts telling you his whole life story, he might just want someone to randomly talk to and listen to him. Nothing more. There are people like that who we take as false hope, who only view us as an ear or a shoulder to cry on whenever we need them. Don’t let a guy use you for that reason.

If your mind is truly set on the thought of moving on; then go with it! There was a reason you said stop and there was a reason you wanted to get over him, don’t let something push you off your track. If the issue from before was that he wasn’t talking to you as much, then let him go. If he wasn’t giving you the time of day, then he most certainly doesn’t deserve your time now. The easiest way to move on is to keep yourself occupied. How do we do that? With friends of course! Go out and catch that new movie you’ve all been dying to see, head out to that new café that opened up, grab a bunch of your friends and simply chill together. Doing anything fun will have your mind so set on the laughs and fun you all are having, that it won’t have any time to even think twice on your crush/former crush.

I hope everything works out for you and your friend(:

~(Chingu) 친구