Sol The Future Cat Lady: I'm really having a hard time dealing with stress now that school has started. I've been putting up a front so that I wouldn't have to talk about it because my family has a tendency of promising me that they'll fix it and then forgetting about it. I know that I should remind them but I'm always scared they'll feel that I'm being ungrateful. My mom is the worst though, she gets so angry when I bring anything about me being sad or sick up. She always says that I'm just being a slacker or dramatic. I know that she works hard for me and my sisters and that she loves us but I wish she would be a little more understand. A few years back my father made a huge scandal that hurt all of us and because of that you would think that she would understand but sometime I don't know what she's thinking! She's probably dealing with it in her own way but she won't let me deal with it in my own. I love my mom but we haven't always had a good relationship, we use to fight all the time and then go days without speaking to each other but we got passed that, these past few months have been exactly like that. She has been putting the most pressure on me and causing the most stress about school that I can't wait until I can leave but I know that it will be at least 6 years even though I'm a senior in high school because I can't afford to go away for college and there are a community college and university a drive away form my house. I feel so stuck and upset that I had a nervous break down yesterday and my mom yelled at me without even asking why, They are getting me help now but I'm worried this is just the start of that same cycle and i don't know if I have the heart to put up with another broken promise and another round of not having the courage to say anything. If it happens again I feel like that will be it for me mentally. Sorry this was so long I need to rant to someone.

Friend: Dear Sol The Future Cat Lady,

I’m sorry you’re dealing with so much during the school year. It’s your senior year and you shouldn’t have to deal with so much of this when you’re on the verge of graduating. One thing I’ll tell you first is to stay strong, breathe, and hang in there(:

From what you’re telling me, your condition is already past the line of being serious and you need to get your mom to understand that. Telling your parents any of your problems is not being ungrateful or whiny; it’s letting them know that you’re reaching out a hand for their help. Sometimes parents are so caught up in their work to really see what their children are dealing with. If your sisters a dealing with the same things as you are, then let your mom realize what’s going on between you and your family! She might have her mind on making sure that you all have food and a roof over your head and might not be paying attention to her own children. Try to talk to her together as a family and explain to her the stress you’ve been dealing with. However, make sure it doesn’t seem like you guys are ganging up on her! Just try and open her field of vision that you want her to be there for you and keep all those promises she told you about(:

Don’t be scared of being “ungrateful” when it comes to reminding your mom about her promises. Like I mentioned before, she might just be overworking herself and her mind doesn’t always remember everything she’s told you. Parents were there to help and support their children until they could stand alone on their own two feet. What kind of a world would it be if every single child was terrified of their own parents? Talk about a bad one :/ If she seems like she’s preoccupied with something huge, just let her calm down and bring up the topic later in the day. Don’t remind her every second because after a while, she will snap just like I’m sure you would if you were in her position. If she promised a therapy session for you on Friday, make sure to remind her on Thursday. Just be patient Sol The Future Cat Lady(:

Next time you go into a therapy session, really do try and open up to your therapist. It’s his/her job to understand what you’re dealing with and they are the ones who will recommend what is best for you. If they see this as something that your parents need to deal with, then they’ll let your mom know that she needs to step up and be there for you. Everything is confidential unless it’s something that’s completely out of their hands.

Like you said so yourself, you don’t want to go through the same cycle again right? So it’s your job to make a difference and step out of your shadow. Don’t be scared Sol The Future Cat Lady! You can’t constantly live your life in the shadows being scared of what’s to come. If you won’t take a step forward, then you won’t make any progress. Stand up for yourself and let your voice be heard, let them know what you want them to hear. You shouldn’t have to continuously put up with broken promises, because after so many disappointments, there may come a time where you won’t be able to get back up. And I would hate for that time to come to anyone.

So sorry Sol The Future Cat Lady for replying to your letter so late >< I hope everything goes well(: Take care!~

~(Chingu) 친구