PissedAndConfusedGF: WARNING: THIS LETTER IS PROBABLY THE LONGEST MESSAGE EVER SO BEWARE So theres this guy at my church right?? Ill call him guy A, so anyways he goes to my chruch. Well i have had a crush on him for like 4 monthes. And i never realized it before because hes like a really close friend of mine. Like he would give me his sweaters and all that things. And when my heart started beating faster then Usual, i realized my feelings for him. Well guy A is really nice and always makes me smile and his wall posts like fill up my fb wall. And theres this other guy in my school, ill call him guy B, that likes me... And hes really immature, but ive known him since like kindergarten. Guy B confessed to me like two monthes ago and took me by suprise. I just laughed because i thought he was joking. Well after i realized he wasnt, i said sorry that i dont like him. Guy b said it was alright but he bothered me more then usually. And i think he stalks my facebook because he would always text me and mmke fun of anything i post on fb or someone posts on my wall. So anyways me and guy A were doing our usual thing and messaging each other (with a lot of emoticans like smiley faces and hearts) And filling up my wall. Guy B decides to ADD HIM ON FB AND TELL HIM ALL THIS DISGUSTING FAKE THINGs ABOUT ME TO GUY A. Well guy A like private messaged me warning me and telling me the things guy B has told him.  Well i was beyond pissed. Firstly i was so mad that guy b would do that to me since we knew when or when not to cross the line and our comfort zones. After i calmed down, i texted guy b and told him how disappointed i was in him and how if he doesnt stop now, ill never talk to him ever again. guy B apologized and said he'll never do it again. so guy a and i became closer after the incident (weirdly) and he asked me out (KYAA!! I STILL CANT BELEIVE IT OMG SORRY SPASM) and our relationship works out smoothly. or i thought.. last two weeks, guy a seemed a little distant from me and cant seem to look me in the eye. i knew something was wrong but he would never tell me. one day when i was overr his house, i borrowed him laptop for a sec to go on fb. turns out guy a didnt log off his account. well being the curious cat i am, i looked through his messages and SAW ING (excuse my language) GUY B TELLING HIM MORE GROSS THINGS ABOUT ME. HOW IM NOT A AND I MADE OUT WITH OUR HISTORY TEACHER AND THINGS LIKE THAT. i told guy a that i wwas really sad he didnt tell me about these messages and that they're all false. i told guy a that if guy b ever send him messages like this to inform me immediatly. and he said he didnt want me to be hurt after reading it and we made up. well after that, i met up with guy b and cursed him off ( im not a curser so he was shocked) and i told him i dont want to do anything with him ever again. sigh but this week guy b has been even worse! that guy a had to delete his facebook and make another one with a fake name. i. felt. so. embarassed. but somehow guy b found him again and no matter how many times guy a told him to stop, he wouldnt. Guy a was really pissed too because he hated no dispised the fact that someone talks bad about me like guy b does. But i told him to just ignore him because guy b was a good friend at one point. I guess im being to nice but still. How should i make guy b stop?? Like i really like guy a and i dont want anything to go wrong but a lot has already because of guy b. Help me?

Friend: Dear PissedAndConfusedGF,

First off, congratulations on the boyfriend! He seems like a keeper ;) He trusts you and stands by you, always ready to protect you from whatever comes your way. That’s a big thumbs up in any guy(:

Now, onto Guy B; he seems like he is clearly not getting the message across that you are not only not interested in him, but also that you are currently taken by someone else. He’s gone to the extreme of being a homewrecker and attempting to lower you in your own boyfriend’s eyes. He needs a reality check and that’s just what you’re going to have to do.

Just like you’ve said so yourself, Guy B is immature. He says negative things about you to Guy A just to get attention, knowing that you’ll find out about it. If he’s going to behave like a 5 year old, then you’ll just have to treat him like a 5 year old. Ignoring him may not have worked before, but make sure you cut off all ties from him completely. Completely ignoring him will be a big wake up call for him to realize that he’s gone far over the line and he’s now going to have to pay the consequences.

One thing you have to make sure you do is stand your ground. Guy A shouldn’t have had to make a fake Facebook just to accommodate for Guy B. There is always the option to block Guy B out. Trying to work around him won’t do you any good. It’s your life you have to live by, not his.

If that tactic doesn’t work, then you’ll have to confront Guy B. Nobody likes confrontations and I guarantee you that if you do so to Guy B, he’ll really be on his toes. He may just be doing this to grab your attention (even if it’s negative). Make sure you don’t sugar coat anything and get right to the point that you are not planning on taking his torment any longer and you want him to stop. Don’t raise your voice or assault him because he may in fact just get enjoyment out of that. Tell him firmly that you don’t like him back and you have a boyfriend right now.

The way I see it, ignoring him may be the best option. If he can’t accept the fact that you two can be nothing more than friends, then it’s best to leave him behind. This is only because he isn’t showing that he is capable of handing the matter in a mature and friendly way. If he’s a true friend, then he’ll back off and come to an understanding(:

I know it’s hard to let go of friends we’ve known for the longest of times, but sometimes, some of those friends change and can no longer be one of our “friends.” Like you’ve said so yourself, Guy B has already caused the two of you more than enough trouble. What kind of a friend would do such a thing to your relationship? It’s best to put the negative things behind you and move on from them(:

I wish you and Guy A the best of luck ;] and hope everything goes well with Guy B. So sorry it took so long to reply to your letter PissedAndConfusedGF >_< Take care~

~(Chingu) 친구