I could faint in this road right now. I was running for ages looking for her. I was thankful to some classmates and faculty that helped me in looking for her. I was even more thankful to Nayoung and Kyulkyung because they stayed with her.

I looked up at her, feeling my sweat drop onto my brow like a running tap. My vision was blurry at first – probably because of the running – yet I regained it and saw her teary.

“Ch-Chaewon-ah…” I huffed. “I looked everywhere for you...” I stood straight and flexed my back. “Why did you run away?”

“You don’t really love me, right?” 

I felt my heart break and felt my tears run down. Seeing her cry made the feeling twice as painful.

All of this was my fault. If I didn’t do that one thing before, I could’ve saved her…

+++

“I love you, unnie.”

I looked up at a smiling Chaewon after I put on her socks. I just smiled lightly, saying, “I know. Now let’s go to school.”

I watched her walk ahead, going towards the mirror to fix herself. I couldn’t help a smile because thank God she remembered that.

After all, she doesn’t remember anything.

Kim Chaewon and I, Kwon Eunbi, had a sisterly bond. We weren’t biologically related, not even close to being legitimate and illegitimate daughters. We were friends, going way back to being kids up until our studies – her as a junior high student while I was a senior high student. Normally, we would be in our homes with our families but no, our parents pitched in an apartment to which we stayed in together. 

It had to be that way. I had to be with Chaewon and be responsible for her because she got into an accident…

…thanks to me.

“Let’s go, love.” Chaewon grinned and held my arm. 
I nodded as we got out of our apartment and went to school together.

+++

It would’ve been a normal day in school but it wasn’t for a special merged class.

In school, juniors and seniors had a wall of expertise and experience between them. They would be learning different things, be part of different classes, and would be separated in different classrooms. It was not the case of the class I was in for we were merged with a junior class, which happened to be Chaewon’s class.

No wall separated our rooms so the noises were mixed. My usual front seat was taken by another classmate because I wanted to sit on the back to keep an eye on Chaewon, sitting on the back as she was sleeping in her class.

“Kwon Eunbi.”

Alas. My watch had to be disrupted as I have to answer an equation on calculus.

+++

“I feel sorry for Miss Kwon…but this is a school, not a home.”

“That’s true. How can her classmates and juniors concentrate on school?”

It was what I heard from a distance, coming from the faculty. It was a ty way to greet the morning as I parked my scooter and helped Chaewon hop off and remove her helmet.

“Who are they, unnie?”

It was the question she frequently asked. With the accident, she forgot everyone, even her interests. I was the only one who remembered them.

She loves mint chocolate ice cream and the color mint. She loves to wear makeup. She has a sensitive tongue but loves spicy food. She loves to sing and dance with Taeyeon’s songs on replay. She loves mandarins and can peel three of them in seconds. Like me, she loves cleanliness and order. She looks like a but she’s effortlessly funny. She likes to complain and sulk whenever I get mad at her. And even if she did, she loves me. She always had and she always will.

At the time, I didn’t feel it. When she confessed, I tried to make the relationship work for her sake, and promised myself to break up with her after a week. Then that week turned into a month and at that time, I stuck to my promise. It left her heartbroken, running away as she got hit by a truck.

Good news was that she was alive. Bad news was that she lost her memory. Another good news was that she might regain them with proper care but another bad news was that her memory loss impacted her relationship with family and friends to the point she would have a mental breakdown every day.

Where’s Eunbi-unnie?!

It was what she asked in every breakdown. I won the lottery of being the reason for her accident. To compensate, I made a responsibility to solely take care of her. Our families even requested the school for a merged class so I can always supervise Chaewon. 

I couldn’t believe that out of all the things she could forget, I wasn’t it. In another view, she only remembered me as her girlfriend and not the fact that we broke up. I decided not to bring it up. I’ll never forgive myself if she gets hurt again.

We got to our classes and I made sure Chaewon got to her seat. I got to mine and I was surrounded by some of my classmates.

“What is it this time?” 

“Eunbi, I heard from Mina that you sometimes get her and Doyeon to take care of Chaewon.”

“I’m sorry, Sejeong. Also to you, Yoojung.” I added. “It was only for a few seconds. I had to buy her ice cream and asked your younger friends to watch over Chaewon in case she wanders around.”

“Bringing your amnesiac friend to school and having our class merged with the juniors, I feel sorry for them, for us, and for you.”

“Don’t you have anything nice to say, Hangyul?” I raised as I slammed my book. “It’s my fault that Chaewon got into that accident! I must be responsible!”

“We know, Eunbi…but this is getting complicated for all of us. Why don’t you find a full-time caretaker for her? Or send her back to her family?”

“Try to do that, Nayoung…and Chaewon will go crazy.” I snickered. 

The complaints had to stop when I saw Chaewon collapse on her seat. Her classmates went to wake her up as I rushed to check on her, leaving my classmates to call for help.

I grew worried as Chaewon’s nose bled and she was unconscious. I took matters into my own hands and carried her towards my scooter. I got us hopped in and I drove while holding Chaewon so she won’t fall.

This was a reflex, the doctors would say. It wad a good thing because it indicated that Chaewon was slowly regaining her memory. Even if that was the case, my worry got the best of me…

…even my developing feelings towards her.

I only saw her as a little sister but she had feelings from me since the beginning. I watched Chaewon grow from a girl to a woman yet I stuck to my belief because of different factors – from our friendship to our .

I think it was the time that I should acknowledge her feelings wholeheartedly.

+++

Time went by so fast. The school year was almost over, we were going to graduate soon, and my bond with Chaewon grew stronger.

She was slowly regaining her memory. She remembers her family and classmates now but she still has a hard time remembering events, places, and interests. I was always in the number spot in her memory for she remembers more about me instead of just my name. 

One thing was still evident. She still doesn’t remember our break-up and the accident.

“Eunbi?” I looked back and saw Principal Kim.

I stopped writing on the blackboard and got to her attention. “What is it, Cheetah-nim?”

“Could I have a word with you?”

I knew where this was going. It had been going on for a long time and I never thought this time would come. 

I nodded yet I went to the other classroom and nudged a sleeping Chaewon awake.

“Love…” Chaewon yawned and rubbed her eyes. 

“Hey…” I cupped her cheeks. “Unnie needs to go somewhere and you need to come with me, okay?”

Chaewon nodded and we went outside together, following Principal Kim. We passed by each of our classmates – with mine ignoring us and Chaewon’s enthusiastically greeting us, even asking Chaewon to play with them tomorrow. Nonetheless, we got to Principal Kim’s office. I let Chaewon sit at the waiting area and I got inside the station, sitting opposite of Principal Kim.

“I’ll get to the point, Miss Kwon.” She spoke, scuffling her short hair. “This request of your merged class with Chaewon’s is giving us bad remarks. Your classmates’ parents are complaining about this matter and I suggest you take this seriously.”

I nodded. Principal Kim leaned closer, adding. “Either you let her family take care of her or you stop supervising her. She’s gaining her memory, right? We should stop the merge and let your classes learn separately. Maybe the independence will help Chaewon regain her memory quickly.”

“Thank you for the officer, Principal. I also thank you for giving this merged class a chance…” I bowed, feeling my tears drop but I wiped them away before facing her. “…but she’s my girlfriend and she’s in a critical condition. I refuse to let anyone else take care of her.”

“You’re still responsible for her accident?”

“I’ll always be responsible.” I spoke. “It’s because I love her.”

+++

Many thought I was really pitiful with the situation I’m in. There was even a time a conference was held for the parents to address the situation. Not only that, Chaewon and I were up front to show ourselves. It was too sudden but Principal Kim made sure to clarify it. I even prepared to speak my heart out as I got in front and talked.

“Chaewon suffered from amnesia, to which she needed special care and attention. Being a helicopter girlfriend to a partially-disabled partner has caused many concerns to faculty, to our classmates, and to our parents. Being responsible, I explained to them why I played this role.”

I couldn’t cry but somehow, they dropped.

“I only have one person that loved me more than I loved myself and she only has me that became the most important person in her whole life.” I sniffled. “In the past, many opportunities came to me because of my ability. But I refused each and every one because a part of my heart never wanted to leave Chaewon. That part grew, was ignored, and grew again when Chaewon got into the accident. Chaewon became an integral part of my life – a sister that turned into a significant other.”

The parents mumbled. My classmates were teary as Chaewon’s classmates consoled their older brothers and sisters.

“I’m sorry to do this…but I would do everything to protect the one I love.” I got a piece of paper. “If you think Chaewon and I are no longer fit to study here, please sign this.”

A slam of the door was heard. I looked around to see that Chaewon wasn’t inside.

I left without saying anything as I felt my fear rising. 
I have to find her. I would kill myself if she’s in harm again.

+++

I called her name and looked for her around the school. I ran towards the city, asking people if they saw her. With every hope of finding her, it was diminished by her absence. As my tired feet carried me to who knows where, I was sobbing. 

“Chaewon-ah…Ssamu…” I wept as I kept looking for her. “Where are you?”

I got to the suburbs and called for her again when I saw Nayoung and Kyulkyung with the face I was searching for.

I could faint in this road right now. I was running for ages looking for her. I was thankful to some classmates and faculty that helped me in looking for her. I was even more thankful to Nayoung and Kyulkyung because they stayed with her.

I looked up at her, feeling my sweat drop onto my brow like a running tap. My vision was blurry at first – probably because of the running – yet I regained it and saw her teary.

“Ch-Chaewon-ah…” I huffed. “I looked everywhere for you...” I stood straight and flexed my back. “Why did you run away?”

“You don’t really love me, right?” 

I felt my heart break and felt my tears run down. Seeing her cry made the feeling twice as painful.

All of this was my fault. If I didn’t do that one thing before, I could’ve saved her…

“Unnie…” Chaewon spoke. “…I finally got my memory back.”

the memory. That doesn’t matter now. I reached to hug her but she drove herself away. 

“You don’t love me, unnie.” Chaewon spoke again. “You only see me as your little sister. It’s why…” She lowered her head and cried. “…it’s why you broke up with me, right?”

I hugged her close to me. Even if she wanted to let go, I won’t let her go.

I won’t let her go again.

“I love you…I love you, okay?” I spoke as I hug her still. “I was wrong of breaking up with you. I’m sorry if I realized just now. I love you and I don’t want to let you go ever again…”

I saw Kyulkyung tearing up as she held Nayoung’s hand. They left us give us privacy but nevertheless, I found Chaewon.

Today marks a promise. Even if she regained her memory, I’ll love her and take care for the rest of our remaining days.

+++

“Who are you?”

I dropped her sock and became worried. I checked her from head to toe then back up again, cupping her face.

“Just joking, unnie.”

I would normally cuss and throw a minor fit but recently, I just sigh. I returned to putting her socks on. “Don’t joke about losing your memory, Ssamu. I might die of a heart attack if you forget about me.”

“I never did, unnie.” Chaewon spoke. “I love you.”

Normally, I’d ignore. When she was in her amnesia, I replied the usual “I know.” But today, I spoke something different.

“I love you too.”

“Are we going on a walk today?”

I nodded and went to tie her shoes. Chaewon thought it was too much but I insisted. “Yes. I want us to be fit together.”

“Won’t you get tired?”

I stopped to look at her. She looked cute with that questionable face.

I shook my head and I meant it. To me, I’ll never get tired of being there for the one I love.