Hyewon was really worried for this game. It was never in her nature to react but she couldn’t help but glance to the side, seeing Minju playing PUBG with her heart out. She was more aggressive than usual, evident from the sounds of typing and from almost throwing her phone on the screen whenever she lost. After another win, Minju sighed and rubbed her temples.

Team IZ*ONE were back at the PC Bang for another e-game tournament. Chaewon was already well from her cold and returned to play, always sitting next to Minju.

“You’ve been thinking about it a lot, huh?” Hyewon asked.

Minju just nodded. Hyewon stretched her arms and reached to pat her back. Minju thought Hyewon was a wholesome friend. “Thanks, Kwangbae.”

“Min…” Chaewon tried to get attention but she was ignored by the latter. “Min, talk to me.”

Minju gulped as Chaewon held her hand. She did everything to avoid Chaewon without being obvious – even Hyewon and Yena try to help her out – but Chaewon was always a step ahead. For her, Minju’s concerns were also hers.

“Kwangbae~”

A familiar friend got inside and Team IZ*ONE greeted her. They were shocked, however, as she got to Hyewon and kissed her.

“You and Eunbi are together?!!” The three exclaimed.

The manager of the PC Bang shushed them. Hyewon was blushing whereas Eunbi chuckled. “We are. We’re already together before she transferred to SOPA.”

“Hope for all~” The three spoke then returned with their game.

Eunbi was very supportive for Hyewon, making the latter work hard for this last game. Yena and Minju were fueled up yet Chaewon was worrying about Minju. And thus, the universe replays a specific situation and their quad lost. Hyewon would usually rant and curse but she couldn’t, not when Eunbi was around.

“That’ll be the last game for me.” She spoke and got up. “If you’ll excuse us…”

Hyewon went off first, leaving Eunbi to wave back at her friends and latch onto her arm. Yena got a call from Yuri and excused herself, leaving Chaewon and Minju.

“I’ll get going.” Minju spoke and went ahead.

Chaewon followed her up to the exit and stopped her from going anywhere. Minju wondered when Chaewon made her look at herself. “Min…talk to me.”

“What’s there to talk about between us, Ssamu?”

Minju could get sick every day. The truth she wanted to say was always kept in the crevices of her subconscious. Then again, she couldn’t help but feel light because Chaewon was worrying about her.

“I’m just a bit edgy this time, Ssamu. So many things have come to mind.” Minju reasoned.

“Are you sick?” Chaewon places a hand on Minju’s forehead.

“No.” Minju shuts her eyes and had to control herself. “I’ll be fine. Please don’t worry about me.”

“Don’t say that. I can’t help it.” Chaewon added. “Tell you what. Let’s have lunch together. Just the two of us.”

Minju slaps Chaewon’s head, causing the koala to wince. “What was that for?”

“You and Wonyoung are having a major date tonight. You need to prepare.” Minju hissed and added. “I’m going home now.”

“Then how about tomorrow?”

“Depends if you have free time or not. Just call.” Minju spoke.

Chaewon nodded and waved. Minju waved back and walked home.

+++

Minju was in Wonyoung’s place, eating her sandwich. She was invited in the last minute for a late lunch by her best friend and Minju couldn’t say no. She was feeling less enthusiastic as she constantly heard Wonyoung getting excited on her date with Chaewon this evening. She was also a good liar because she hid her dismay with the use of her nods and smiles.

“This is the D-Day of all dates, Min.”

“Why do you say that?” Minju asked.

“I’m going to tell Chaewon to get back together.”

Minju almost dropped her glass but it didn’t. Although it spilled water on her sandwich, Minju regained composure and wiped her side of the table.

“Are you okay, Min?”

“Yeah.” Minju maintained her composure. “I’ve got dibs that she’ll say yes.”

Wonyoung’s eyes got teary, making Minju wonder. It was then that Wonyoung sat next to her and hugged her tight.

“What’s this?” Minju asked yet she hugged me back.

“You always look out for me, Min.”

Minju’s conscience shivered because of her feelings. Her partner-like love for Chaewon and her friendship-like love for Wonyoung juggled her mind and heart too much. It could become a consequence of breakdown if that specific hell will break loose.

She can’t, not when Wonyoung had trusted the process and gave time to gain Chaewon’s attention, just as told her to.

“I’m just doing the best I can.” Minju mumbled.

Wonyoung hugged her tighter, adding pats on her head. Minju chuckled as it was Wonyoung’s gesture whenever they hugged – from when they were kids up until the present.

“I really mean it.” Wonyoung broke and plastered a smile. “I just don’t know what I’d do without you.” She patted her head again. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

Minju’s conscience was having a seizure. With every pat, Minju was ready to combust her true feelings; that she wanted Chaewon and her to just remain friends and give herself a chance towards Chaewon. Her conscience was slowly controlling her mind and heart and she would break loose and speak out those feelings…

…until a knock got to the door.

Minju could thank whoever slapped her out of her feelings. Wonyoung got excited getting the door and hugging the person. Minju gulped as she saw Chaewon.

“Min?” Chaewon perked up after seeing her.

Minju got her bag from the living room and went to the two. “I’ll be going now.”

“But Min – “

“I’m cheering you on, Won.” Minju disrupted Chaewon, patting the taller’s shoulder. “Sorry, Ssamu. I have something important to do.”

“Thank you, Min.” Wonyoung waved as Minju got to the gate. “See you at school.”

Minju had a good look at Wonyoung then a longer on at Chaewon. She waved back and got out of the residence. And as she closed the gate, that’s when a sullen part of her inner hell broke loose.

Her eyes went dull, her walking was slow, and her body hung low. She’d look like a bloody corpse by now but with the silence of the night within their neighbor, no one was a witness. It was more evident when Minju got to her home. Her family went somewhere and won’t be back until the weekend so she was really alone.

What a way for fate to let her be inside and finally release her emotions.

Minju ended up being at the door and was down on the floor, her tears dropping and her cries coming after. She never understood how love could be so complex; that it would make her the best woman when she had it and it would make her the worst woman when she lost it. She loved the feelings she had with Chaewon and all the moments they shared but of course, it was a mistake. It was a pit of fire and she was fool for jumping into it. She blamed herself for falling for a person that wasn’t meant to be hers and she broke her own promise to not dwell onto it.

It was all wrong. Falling for Chaewon was wrong.

+++

A knock became evident and Minju woke up from her breakdown. She felt her face dry because of the tears, that her back hurt because she slept by the door, and that she returned to reality as it was already midnight and the knocks became so loud. What shocked her most was that she heard a scream.

“Open up, Min!”

She couldn’t believe it. She refused to believe it. Minju didn’t want to welcome the person in but with the loud knocks that could destroy the door and disturb her neighbors, she opened it, only for the person to close it behind her and her arms wrapped around Minju’s hold.

“Yah! How could you not answer me?!” She spat, almost crying. “I was worried sick about you?”

No…it can’t be…

Minju wanted the person away. She tried to remove from the hug but the latter was stronger, hugging her tighter.

“No…please stop…” Minju sobbed again. “I can’t do this, Ssamu…”

“Min…” Chaewon broke from the hug. “What are you…”

“We…” Minju tried to speak but she was just tearing up. “Y-You have W-Wonyoung…”

“But I have you, Minju!”

Minju felt her hearing was gone, as if a bomb was in the area that destroyed her eardrums. Chaewon did the honors to hug her still, head leaning onto Minju’s as her tears dropped silently.

Chaewon knew what was happening as she pieced it by herself. She found out about Wonyoung’s intentions and got a confession of getting back with her. She didn’t abandon Wonyoung on their date yet she grew restless, waiting for it to finish and had to rush to Minju’s aid for she had observed that she had the face of depression. She never wanted Minju to feel that way for her smiles, her laughs, and everything else about her meant a lot to her.

Chaewon became indirectly evident. She wanted Minju.

She wanted her to be her future girlfriend.