Some days are easier to get through than others. Sometimes it really does help to have the boys all around me, but then sometimes it doesn’t. Walking idly through the streets of some city in China I look around carefully. Being alone helps clears my head. It’s been months since 2PM’s tour started there in Korea. Now they’re performing their last overseas concert of the tour and we’ll be flying home after being away on tour for seven months.  Not thinking about home makes being here easier too.

Glancing at the caller id on my phone as it buzzes to alert me of a call, from Chansung, answering I glance around me “Hello?”

“Noona we’re about to head out to dinner, are you almost back to the hotel?” He asks happily. “We don’t want to start without you.”

“Yeah, I’m heading back right now. I should be there in a few.” I mumble as the said location comes into view. “I see the hotel now.”

“Oh good, Noona…Are you alright? You sound kind of sad.” He mumbles quietly, the others must be nearby. “Noona?”

Sighing as I cross the street and hurry back to the building “I’m fine, I just…I was thinking Chansungie.” I mumble as I cross another street hurrying back.

“Alright, well be safe alright?” He says sighing. “Bye.”

“See you in a little bit.” I mumble hanging up.

As I slip through the fans and enter the lobby I quickly make my way to the hotel restaurant. After a little escapade in Thailand with us sneaking out for a couple hours we’ve sort of been grounded. Spotting them at the table near the window overlooking the beautiful scenery, the city and horizon if you will, a spot saved for me next to Wooyoung and Chansung.

“Noona Chansung ordered for you.” Junho says smiling at me as I approach the table.

Ruffling the hair of Chansung I thank him. “Anyways how was your afternoon?” I ask the boys as I settle into group.

“My nap was wonderful.” Wooyoung coos happily. “Until hyung sat on me.” He says sourly glaring at Taecyeon.

“I told you it was an accident.” He says grinning. “Besides I apologized.”

Rolling his eyes he sighs. “How was your walk?” He asks brightly.

Chuckling I straighten his hair up a bit before I answer. “It was nice, calming.”

“Did you see anything really cool?” Junho asks as our food comes. “You were gone nearly all afternoon.”

Nodding my head I tell them about the people, shops, and statues I saw while I was wondering around in the city.

During the meal at some point Chansung grabbed my hand and gave it a light squeeze before letting go. Glancing at him questioningly I feel a different presence come from the other side of me, turning I see Nichkhun has switched with Wooyoung, them both seeming to switch conversations.

Since I decided not to ever act on what I may or may not feel for Nichkhun we’ve gotten awkward again. To say the least I’ve pulled back. I just haven’t figured out a good way to approach him without feeling my stomach twist and my heart flutter a few times.

Quickly grasping Chansung’s hand again I smile at him. “What did you do?” I ask him referring back to the conversation at the beginning of dinner.

Chuckling he tilts his head letting his hair sweep across his eyes, a smile finds its way to his face as he answers. “I finished the book I’ve been reading."  I asked him what it was about and he told me, then asking me what my favorite part of the city was that I visited today was, to which I told him that it was all the statues I saw and probably a couple of the museums that I saw today as well.

---

As Thank You the last song of the concert comes on I smile at the boys tossing flowers to the crowd, the in turn the audience swaying to the music blissfully. Chansung tosses a flower to a group of girls huddled together and they cheer for him, likewise for when a lucky fan catches one of the flowers.

“This is easily one of the best moments for them.” Miyoung-Unnie says coming to my side. “Look at them…”

Chuckling I agree with her. “They always look happiest when they are on stage.” I mumble smiling at them.

“I think you’re wrong personally.” Miyoung says patting my shoulder lightly. “They look pretty damn happy when you and them all joke around.”

Before I can even argue the case she shakes her head walking off. Sighing I turn my attention back on the boys running around stage, singing, rapping, doing last minute tricks and such for the crowd before they wave them good-bye.

“Noona we saved this one for you,” Wooyoung says as Nichkhun hands me a rose. “Thank you.”

Smiling at them I hold the flower close to me, now that I can look at it properly I see that it’s a red rose. “Thank-you” I whisper hugging each of them, kissing their cheeks affectionately. “You all better get changed we have a plane to catch soon.” I whisper hugging Junsu last.

As I walk through the dorm room I smile at them, taking a seat on the couch with Minjae-sshi. “It was quite the tour.” He sighs covering his face. “It was a lot easier thanks to you.” He chuckles looking at me.

“I doubt it. I snuck them out.” I say smiling cheekily. “But it was a lot of fun.”

Getting up he ruffles my hair. “You should stay the night kid, you look like you’re about to pass out.” He says stretching. “I’ll see you Monday.” He yawns as he walks to the door.

“Night, rest well and tell your family I say hello.” I call to him snuggling up on the couch. Hearing a simply ‘Yeah’ I smile to myself and fall asleep on their couch.

It’d been a very long tour, a little straining and very fun. Waking up the first thing I notice is I’m not on the couch I’m in Junho and Wooyoung’s room; both of them are piled on one bed. Chuckling I quietly get out of bed and stretch. Leaving their room I move to the kitchen to fix something to eat, I’m starving, and I know they all will be too.

“You’re awake already?” Junsu asks stumbling out of his room with a bad case of bed-head. “You know you don’t have to make us something, we could just pick something up for the kids.” He yawns collapsing on a chair.

Chuckling I watch as he rubs the sleep from his eyes. “And you’re up for a quick trip to get food?” I ask him curiously, his bed-head, pajamas, and sloppy appearance really doesn’t scream shopping, regardless he nods his head. “Alright, come on then sleepy.”

Smiling he runs to the door slipping on some slippers. “This will be great!” He cheers opening the door as I slip on my sandals.

“Oh?” I ask him feeling my phone buzz again. Answering it I watch as Junsu pulls on a zip up jacket and slips a pair of sunglasses on. “Hello?”

“Hey Hollywood” Jay’s voice says in a semi-slurring way. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Stopping I turn away from Junsu. “Jay are you drunk?” I ask him unsure what to even say. “Jay?”

“Look” He says softly. “I am not drunk, well not that drunk,” He mumbles stopping I just hear him breathing, “I just wanted to hear your voice, it’s been so long.”

“Jay,” Sighing I turn to see Junsu now watching me carefully, “Alright.” I mumble continuing to walk, passing Junsu I hear him let out a sigh of relief.

“I was afraid you’d hang up.” He slurs again, “I never got to apologize.” Before I can even question what he starts talking again. “I never should have left you like that…I’m sorry.”

“Jay it’s ok.” I whisper. “Thank you for the gifts.”

“Do you wear them?” He asks excitedly. “Do you?”

Chuckling as I open the car I smile happily, he may be drunk, but it’s still the same Jay I fell in love with. “I do.” Just sitting in the car I glance at Junsu him still watching me.

“Jay are you on the phone?!” Another voice asks, sort of yelling, Jay must have ran off because now whoever it is, is yelling to get off.

“I have to go, but” He hiccups, “I never got the chance to tell you this and I wish I had.” He mumbles before saying “HOLD ON!”

“Jay you can’t!” The voice insists. “Come on give it here.”

“I love you.” He whispers.

“I love you too.” I say back before he hangs up. Ending the call on my side I glance at Junsu, his face isn’t exactly readable.

“That’s how close you were with him?” Junsu asks quietly. “You love him?”

Pursing my lips I start the car. “Junsu, I…” Pausing I look at him before I pull out of the parking space. “I do.” I wasn’t sure what to say, I wasn’t going to lie, but I am scared of what his next question will be.

“Why did you and Jay break-up exactly?” He says slowly, Junsu is serious, taking a quickly glance at him confirms this. He no longer looks goofy or sleepy.

Sighing I bit my lip trying to form what I’m about to say in a way that won’t sound like an excuse or blame them. “Jay and I had been fighting for a while to be honest.” I say quietly. “It started when he came back from Japan…It was sort of like we couldn’t get over whatever changed. I don’t know what changed; I don’t know why all I do know is that it threw us off. I mean we had really good days, then something would happen, I would cancel because I was working or he was recording and it’d spark an argument.” I explain to him. “Oppa…”

“So you guys were arguing that’s why?” He asks me quietly. “Or is there more?”

Sighing I pull over and wipe the tears from my eyes, it really doesn’t matter how long it’s been. I love Jay, I’m a little afraid that it will never change. “Jay and I had been fighting about how much time I spend with you guys.” I say taking a deep breath.

“Jay was jealous of us?” He asks incredulously.

Rolling my eyes I punch his arm. “Jay asked me to go with him a week or so before he left for his world tour.”

“You didn’t go?” Junsu says again, glaring at him I wait for him to ask the right question, not the obvious one. “Why didn’t you go with him?”

“It’s obvious isn’t it?” I ask him quietly. “I love being with you guys, I love you guys too much to go. Jay knew that.”

“And he asked anyways.”

Nodding my head I look at him. “I stayed, I made a choice, I could have gone off with him, but I wouldn’t. I didn’t want to leave.” Sighing I glance out the window at the cars passing by, pulling a back into traffic I take us to some place and buy a tray for lunch. The whole time Junsu is shadowing me, pointing to things that he and the others would want to want. Quickly getting back in the car I catch Junsu staring at me. “What?”

“Do you talk to him a lot?” Junsu asks me, he sounds almost like he’s scared of the answer.

Shaking my head I purse my lips. “This is the first time since we broke up.” I explain to him. “Anything else, Junsu?”

“Just one more question.” He says as I drive us home. “When he comes back from his tour what happens then?”

Shrugging my shoulders and my lips, I know Jay will come back to Korea eventually, but at this point I don’t know what I would do, or if I’d be able to see him. I mean there is still the fact that I didn’t leave. Then again I pretty sure I’ll always love Jay. “I think I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. Until then I’m perfectly happy spending my time with you and the others.”

“If you and Jay both love each other why didn’t it work out?” Junsu wonders aloud.

Rolling my eyes I spare him an exasperated look. “I thought you only had one more question, besides shouldn’t you be worried about your upcoming closing show rather than my love life?”

“I’m just worried about how this will end up. I don’t want you to feel like we held you back…”

Parking I quickly unbuckle my seatbelt, resting my hand on his shoulder I shake my head before I hug him tightly. “I will never feel that way. I love you boys too much, that’s why I stayed and I will never regret the choice I made.”

Walking with Junsu with our arms intertwined I smile at my Oppa, it feels nice to have talked to someone about it finally, without them gasping, wondering why I wouldn’t leave to go off with Jay. “One last question before you are swept away.” Junsu says stopping us outside the door. “What If you need to move on?”

“I don’t know; it’s not exactly like I have suitors.” I tell him, though I feel a pang. Technically I do, but I’m not going to think about that right not. “Come on I’m sure Chansung and the others are dying of hunger.” I tell him as I type in the code, then pushing the door open. Walking in I see someone I hadn’t expected and apparently Junsu too if judging by his arm tightening around mine is any indication.

I know a bit repetitive of what's been going on.
I needed her to actually discuss the whole breakup thoroughly with someone
and I thought Junsu could use some trust.
I know I skipped quite a few months too, but honestly I didn't really want to go through
the tour dates, places and such, on one hand it would be semi-interesting,
but I feel like it'd get boring fast. So I'll do the Closing Show in a bit more detail, well hopefully
a lot more.
Then I toss in a a cliffhanger...kind of.

<3
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