I’d be crazy to say I didn’t expect this, I mean I was taking her time away from them. Seeing Khun just sitting there casually, but with that face; I knew immediately that something was making him angry and I have a distinct feeling that something is me. “Hey.” I murmur taking a seat in front of him just as casually, I always imagined the next time I’d see one of the guys it’d be a joyous occasion, but I guess not.

“Let me be clear, none of us are particularly happy that she’s dating you.” He says in English, ah, one of those conversations. Serious. “Jay I speak for the others when I say this. Don’t hurt her.” The last part wasn’t threatening, it was a plea. He was desperate, he sounds so fraught…

“I don’t plan on it.” I mutter sadly, messing with the end of the table I look up to meet his gaze, still intent, I remember making him angry back when I was their leader, it’d been playful then. “You like her right?” I ask him sighing; I’d seen a couple of his shirts in her closet. Nichkhun never did like giving things away willy-nilly, that wasn’t his style. I’m sure that hasn’t changed.

Nichkhun’s eyes turn almost black and he leans forward. “I do, we all do.” He says before sitting back in his chair, I of course couldn’t help but notice the way he’d evaded to answering my question, looking out the window he sighs and looks at me a moment before a small glimpse of what was appeared before me. The old times, the times where we’d hang out with Taec and just walk around aimlessly, or when we’d play video games together taking turns waiting to see who’d get to play next. It made my heart ache. I missed those times, I might not feel lonely when I’m working, but that’s why I do. I couldn’t stand being idle. Idleness meant time to think, time to think meant I’d be forced to think about my choice of resigning, leaving my best friends. “Jay we care about her a lot…and we want to thank you for saving her, she means a lot to us.” He says softly. I get it now, well at least now I know. Khun likes her. I’m not really surprised, “Just don’t give us a reason to hate you.” He says getting up. “It was nice seeing you, even with the circumstances.” Just as soon as I saw the softer side of him Nichkhun was up and gone out of the café and on to whatever he was up to now-en-days. As Khun leaves I get a text from Hollywood, cancelling on me again, but now I don't feel jealous or angry. I'm glad I have time to think, I have the time to try and sort some things out first.

I’d sat in the café for most of the day after he left after I got the text. Just to think, to think about what he’d said, about my short trip, about how he’d avoided answering me directly. When he called asking to meet to talk I’d been hoping we’d get to talk, not him tell me a few things and then to dash. Having things like this is frustrating; it makes me angry that we can’t talk when we want. Maybe if I’d known this would happened I’d have had more tact when I was talking Jinyoung about not coming back to JYPE. Going home I sleep on the what Nichkhun had asked of me, of everything that would be changing here soon.

“Are you alright?” Hollywood asks as she opens her door to let me in, she looks up at me, her eyes a bright brown, nearly caramel, her fringe hangs delicately in her face, everything about her just enhances her natural beauty. “Jay?” She asks as I her face, me just standing in the door way, pulling me in she frowns.

“Yeah, it’s just…” Sighing I smile at her. “I just feel so happy getting to spend time with you.” I whisper taking her hands, taking my shoes off I lead her to the couch, sitting down I stare at her, “No work today?”

“Minjae-sshi sent me home after they finished recording, he’s taking them for the rest of the day, I’ll be there tomorrow.” She says shrugging her shoulders, leaning into me I smell her coconut orchard scented hair waft up to me. Taking in a deep breath I sigh contently. “You seem agitated.” Ever so observant, I can’t ever keep anything from her, and yet she remains a mystery to me, I wonder if the others feel like that. I mean I know about her, she’d left her family for reasons that are too difficult for her to talk about, and I know more because of Minho, but other than that the girl before me is an enigma despite what she says.

“No, I just couldn’t get the dance I wanted to go quite right.” I lie to her rubbing my face, “It was a tough practice.”

Nodding her head she leads me to the couch, setting me down she quickly goes around on the other side and massages my shoulders. “I’m sorry to hear that.” Hollywood whispers, her fingers work diligently and gracefully, my shoulders slacken from her great massage. “I’m not going to be home tomorrow night,” She informs me quietly. “I’ll be working all night.”

Grunting I could help but feel a flare of jealousy, I’m not afraid to admit that. After all she is my girlfriend, spending the majority of her time with six very attractive guys, one of whom I’m positive harbors feelings for her. I’m not sure though if she understands that, I know she tells me about their double meaning conversations and I think that’s what they are hinting at. “I’m going to Japan for a couple of weeks.” I tell her quietly. “I’ll call you every night.”

“Promise?” She asks almost childish, I’d think she was being cute if I didn’t know better. Hollywood is sensitive, she doesn’t like being alone. I think it gives her too much time to think about the past, we’re the same in that aspect. We keep busy so we don’t have to think back on what hurts, we move forward so that nothing unpleasant crosses our mind.

Gripping her hand on my shoulders I bring it to my lips, pressing them against my lips I smile at her delicate hands. “I promise, come on let’s get something to eat. Fruit for you.” I say chuckling. I hadn’t known she loved fruit so much until she and Minho went shopping for her apartment. I hate that I have to learn about her like that, she’s open with me but only so much. I wonder if she’s like this with Chansung and the others. Tugging her along to the door we slip our shoes on, guiding her to my car I smile at her. Out of sight I frown slightly, why do I feel so bad? Why did what Nichkhun said effect me like this? I wasn't hurting her, I treat her like a boyfriend should, right?

Watching her eat contently I look down at my food, eating it in pieces she looks around happily admiring the scenery. I really do wish I could give this all to her, take her out in public, hold her hand, do all the things a boyfriend should be able to do. But ever since my conversation with Nichkhun all I can think about is the pain I put her through. Me being busy when she’s free, I told her about the filming for my music videos, she won’t like them when they come out. I want to shield her from that part of my life. I’m back to wishing that I could take her away from all the fame, the glamour of the idol world, but then again I’m sure the glamour isn’t anything new to her. What is new is that she’s on the other side of it all.

“Why are you so sad?” Her voice calls permeating my thoughts, holding my hand she pouting slightly looking at me with her warm eyes full of concern. “Jay?”

Shaking my head I take her hand. “I’m just going to miss you when I go Japan.” I whisper kissing her hand before letting go. I almost forgot that we’re in public, that if someone sees her like this with me it’ll mean bad news, not just for me but for her, she could lose her job, everything that she's worked so hard to keep.

“Come on let’s get you home.” She says grinning at me, obviously satisfied with my sort of lie, but it wasn’t. I really will miss my Hollywood Girl while I’m gone. “My Seattle Boy needs to hurry up.” She calls already smirking at me from the doorway, probably happy she was able to pay for us.

Following her out I chuckle seeing her sway in the sunlight, just happy to be out. Dropping her off I kiss her cheek in the privacy of my car. “I won’t see you for two weeks.”

She caresses my face gently. “It’ll be alright. We’ll call and text.” She says like everything will be alright. When did it get like this? When did I start questioning how much I’m hurting her? I care for her right? Isn’t that enough? I’m doing all I can so I can take a break and maybe take her away to some far off place where neither of us will have to worry about anything. Watching Hollywood wave to me before closing the door I drive off, why does the short trip seem not so short now and like it's the end of something when I know it isn't?

~~~

Seeing her glow with happiness was at the same time delightful as it was painful. Knowing that another had taken the opportunity that I was hoping to have, while I felt cheated, she felt joy and love from a man that had hurt us in such a way it felt impossible to move forward from. And yet in the small time span that she has spent here with us it feels as though we’ve made great progress, so much so that I’d forgotten how much it hurt to think about when Jay was here.

“Hyung do you think she’ll go away with him?” Chansung asks watching her with me; if he’s worried about it does that mean my fears are confirmed as well? “She promised Junho that she wouldn’t but…”

“I know,” I whisper seeing her, Wooyoung and Junho dancing playfully, the way that she glows in unfair, her beauty, and the way she is isn’t fair to the rest of the world. How can she not see that? “I’m sure, but whatever happens it’ll be ok.” I say strained. I don’t want it to be ok; I want her to be with us always too, not just us but with me. There it is again, that selfish thought, that thought...

“Hyung do you still like Noona?” He asks me quietly, his hushed tone serious, looking at him for the first time since he sat next to me I’m surprised by how serious in fact he does look. “Hyung if you like Noona you’ll let her be happy right?”

Shocked I nod my head numbly at the youngest, at our maknae. “Why wouldn’t I?” I ask him confused. I would choose her happiness over mine, despite the pain I’d be inflicting on myself, despite my selfishness.

“Do you think Jay hyung would?” The simple question prompted suddenly had me wondering. I was too big of a chicken to listen to anything about her relationship with Jay; I didn’t like to ask so I didn’t, and so I kept my questions into her life centered to her alone.

Getting up I smile at him shrugging my shoulders, walking up to Minjae-Hyung I ask him if I could go out for lunch while the others practice, leaving I glance at Chansung him tilting his head in confusion, mouthing one word to him clears it all ‘Jaebeom’.

Arriving at the café where I asked to meet Jay I look out the windows, the seasons are changing again; it’s almost the end of fall now. Turning I see Jay enter, inconspicuous thankfully. “Hey.” He says casually, guarded. I can’t blame him, this can’t be the greeting he was expecting to hear from anyone of us. We all talk about us still being friends, but where was he when we were falling apart? Gone, on his own falling apart only for him to find it in himself to make a comeback, without us. I feel the bitterness surface all over again.

Talking with Jay I beg him not to hurt her; I couldn’t stand to think of her as someone broken again, not like when she first came here. That much is evident she’s getting happier, more open even with us. I wanted to talk to Jay more, ask him things, but I couldn’t stay, I couldn’t look at him without feeling like a jealous monster. Was it so impossible for me to control that? Are my feelings for the beautiful and young assistant to 2PM that strong that I’ll forfeit talking with Jay to go back to that beautiful and young assistant instead? I think they are…

“Hey there” She says brightly, it makes me happy that she’s been so happy these past few months at work, she doesn’t have those moody days so much now, she doesn’t have those egregious days as often.

Arriving back at the studio I see her sitting alone. “Hey,” I mumble taking a seat next to her, “Where are the others?” The first thing I notice is her shirt, the familiar JYPE Staff shirt, and this makes me happy, it means that she’ll be around, that our bosses all like her enough to keep her here with us.

“Heading back home with Minjae-sshi, I’m here to drop you off.” She says brightly. “Apparently all you guys had to do was come in practice today.” She says happily, getting up she offers me her hand, graciously taking it I get up, with a bit of help. “Come on we can stop for ice cream on the way back.”

Chuckling I follow her out the room, “Did I keep you waiting long?”

“No, Minjae-sshi said that you’d gone to lunch, are you ok?” She asks me turning back to look at me, waiting for me to catch up. “You aren’t upset or anything? Or did you sneak out to see someone? A girl?”

Laughing I shake my head, messing up her hair. “Nice try, but no. I’m a single man that went to eat.” I tell her smiling, sure I snuck out to talk to your boyfriend, I needed to know if he was going to be good to you, if not it wouldn’t be acceptable now would it? “Let’s just get that ice cream.”

In the car she hums to herself happily, “You know I never really thanked you properly.” She says suddenly, my little Princess.

“What for?” I ask confused, I haven’t really done anything that requires thanks? I’ve made her wait in the studio by herself that definitely isn’t reputable of thanks.

“For calming me down when I had trouble driving.” She says quietly, glancing at me a moment before pulling in to a parking space in front of a convenience store, “Wait here.” She commands, coming back quickly with two ice cream bars, handing me one we sit here while she eats. “You really helped me a lot.”

“All I did was hold your hand.” I tell her lightly and even that was more for me. “I really didn’t do much.”

Shaking her head she smiles at me, “You did though, I’d have lost my job or something if you hadn’t took my hand and told me everything was ok. Not to forget you talked to me calmly. Nichkhun really thank you.”

Nodding my head she smiles at me before starting the car again and driving us back to the dorm. I haven’t felt this happy since she walked back into the dorm still in my shirt. I happily hug her goodbye as she leaves straight from the parking garage and to her apartment.

“Where’d you get that?” Chansung asks pointing to the ice cream half eaten in my hands, “Did Noona buy that for you?”

“Yeah, we stopped on our way back from the studio.” I explain to him, I really don’t want him mad at me for invading on his and his Noona’s traditions of ice cream but he most know how much she loves ice cream. Chansung and his Noona, even that makes me angry, even this simple thought erodes away at my once happy thought. How can I be close with her knowing that she has all them around her? When she has Jay who is readily there and obviously good to her? How can I deny her that happiness?

A chapter in Jay's POV and Nichkhun's, I hope it wasn't a total disaster.