Understanding and Understandment

Rebelling Heart

“Minjae-sshi” I say into the phone doing a last run through and checking the meal I prepared for the guys in the fridge. “I’m leaving right now.” Gathering up my bag and the keys I head to the front door making sure everything is in order.

“Alright, we’ll see you Monday right?” He asks over the boys’ talking. “Yah, I’m on the phone be quiet.” He says; they must be in the gym. “Alright, just make sure the doors are locked, and you said you made dinner for the boys right?”

Upon hearing this, the boys, Taecyeon, Junho and Chansung go into an uproar. “Hyung is Noona eating out!?” The three of them all ask incessantly. “Is she leaving early? It’s only 3:40!”

“Yah, be quiet.” He says again, “I’m sorry” He mutters. I can picture him rolling his eyes shrugging each of them off his shoulders. The poor man will have to deal with them, plus the grapevine of information traveling to all of the other members. Of course though he told me even if they find out I should go, and not to worry about it. He'll keep them plenty busy with the filming tonight.

“I did, it’s in the fridge with a note marking it. The rice I figured you’d want to be fresh,” Getting a grunt of agreement. “I folded the last of their laundry. Tell them to put their gym clothes in the basket inside the laundry room and I’ll come over and do laundry on Sunday, probably early Sunday morning.” I say heading out, making sure the door is locked, taking the back way I continue to talk with Minjae-sshi. Making sure everything is in order we finally hang up only for me to get a call from Junsu.

“They said you’re leaving early!” Junsu says upset immediately, completely forgetting customary phone customs. “Where are you going?!”

Sighing I roll my eyes, as I get off the bus, walking the block back to my apartment. “I’m going out with someone for a little bit. Besides I’ll be there Sunday to do the wash.” I explain to him exasperated. “Look you all said I’m entitled to making friends. I don’t see why me finishing work early and leaving is a big deal.”

“We’re just worried, besides we’re filming tonight; we thought you’d be there.” He mutters quietly. “We’ll all be nervous.”

Sighing I glance at the bus leaving towards the apartment, I know if I really wanted  to I could catch a cab, the bus or take the subway back and beat all the boys back to the dorm and I could avoid whatever questions they'd bombard me with at the next convenient chance for them, but honestly I’ve been looking forward to this date all week. I've been looking forward to spending some time with Jay that isn't constraint on me or him having to rush to get back to our jobs. “You guys will be fine. You’ll probably have so much fun you won’t even notice that I’m not there.” I say as I see my apartment come into view, a car parked nearby that is very Jay Park-ish. “You all just need to act like you do around me. Besides I made a special dinner, notes, and made sure the apartment was clean for the episode.” I say sighing. “Look I have to go. I’m already late and I still have to get ready.”

“I thought you were hanging out with friends?!” He says catching on quickly, cursing myself silently I try to come up with something that won't give me away, at least not entirely.

Sighing I get to my front door. “I’m going out in public, I’d like to look nice, is that so bad?” I ask him turning the knob my irritance coming out slightly in my tone, I feel bad, but I want this. “Junsu I have to go alright.”

“Fine, but have a good time. And if this is a date I hope everything goes well.” He says hanging up, his tone a little sassy. Trying to shrug it off I enter my apartment and manage to shut the door without slamming it shut.

Irritated by the short conversation I take my shoes off throwing them harshly on the ground and take my jacket off, seeing Jay sitting on my couch though took all that away, smiling at me like he always does.

Getting up he takes the jacket out of my hands. “Did they find out?” He asks gently and calmly, shaking my head he chuckles. “Then they’re just upset that someone is stealing you away.”

“Basically. Although I’m pretty sure Junsu knows I’m going on a date.” I say relaxing as I walk to go change, and keeping to what Jay had said, casual. Pulling on a button up plaid shirt I roll the sleeves up and put on a pair of skinny jeans, stepping out I see Jay looking at a magazine I had out, walking over to him I glance at the article, the one about my mother’s business. “Ready?” I ask him trying to get him away from it. I rather him not discover my family and all of our dysfunctional values.

“Yeah,” He says smiling at me, “You ok?” He asks me concernedly.

Sighing I nod my head. “I’ve just been looking forward to this all week and they’re filming today…” I mutter smiling at him, “But like I said I’ve been so excited.” I feel bad that I won’t be there for the guys, but I did write them an encouraging note and I really did make them something special for dinner.

Taking my hand Jay leads me to his car, opening the door for me then running to get in on the driver’s side, quickly driving off Jay and I talk about the week and of course us drifting to other subjects. “So if this goes well we could go on another date?”

Chuckling I look at Jay glancing at me, “Getting a little ahead of yourself aren’t you?” I ask him laughing lightly. “But yes. I’m sure I’d enjoy another date with you.” I tell him smiling elatedly, as Jay drives he holds my hand, careful to make sure that I’m alright in the car. I feel comfortable with Jay driving, I’m not worried, and I’m sure it’d be the same if I was driving, the only other person that can do that is Nichkhun. I try to reason that it's because Nichkhun has a calming effect, despite the other effects. Of course I really shouldn't be thinking about him right now. “So this date…” I start trying to get back on point. Me, Jay, Date.

“You’ll see it’ll be fun.” Jay says smiling optimistically about the date. Jay’s confidence was overwhelming; like he’s positive by the end of the night I’ll be ready for our second date. A date with Jay Park, here I was sure when I first met him and started talking to him that it’d be unthinkable for us to do anything like that, but here we are. “You look like you’re over thinking this.” Jay complains glancing at me for a moment, “When people over think things that normally means bad news.”

Chuckling I smirk at him, “Look who’s talking,” I joke; as he slows down I glance at the place that we’ve come to, a café of some sort, a doggie café, Bau House Café. Confused I look over at Jay smiling happily. “Dogs?” I ask him curiously as we get out; pouting at me I shrug my shoulders closing the door.

“Are you allergic?” He asks me tilting his head to the side as if this would be his first time considering it; shaking my head he takes my hand. “Scared of them?” Again shaking my head he smiles happily. “We’ll have fun and if not I’m not sure…”

Giggling I shake my head tugging him along. “Come on I love dogs,” Beaming at him we enter the café and immediately we’re met by the sounds of happy dogs, and a buzz of talking. Jay finally coming to his senses leads me to table in the back sort of obscure, dogs flock to us all wagging their tails happily.

“I see what you mean,” Jay says watching me as I happily pet a dog lying on my lap. Sipping our drinks I smile at him. “Hmmh?”

“You just look more relaxed than usual.” I say smiling at him, taking note of how tired he looks, it being betrayed by how excited he’s acting. I don’t know how he does it, so much energy, but maybe that’s how I look. “You’re just the sweetest!” I coo rubbing the dog’s belly, “So soft and cute!” I say happily as the dog wags her tail. Getting lost for a moment I forget about Jay; that is until he slides in next to me petting the dog with me.

“I never thought I’d be jealous of a dog.” Jay says chuckling, looking up I see him watching me carefully. “But here I am competing for attention.” He jokes, our hands colliding; taking grasp of his hand I smile at him. “I still have a few other spots to take you to.” He says getting up, helping to get the now slightly discouraged dog off me I wave good bye to her kissing her head before Jay and I leave. “We can come back again sometime.” He says squeezing my hand lightly.

“I hope so. So oh great date planner where are we heading to next?” Giving me a funny look I shrug my shoulders. “What do you prefer Prince Charming?” I ask him jokingly, of course I'm expecting a certain answer that I'm positive I'll get.

“I do Sweet Princess.” He says as if it was a fact, “And to answer your question my dear, fair, and beautiful lady, we’ll be dinning.” Feeling my cheeks turn a hopefully not noticeable rosy color I follow his lead to his car.

 

Arriving at Jay’s place he grins sheepishly, “I hope you don’t mind. I’d like to take you out, but I’ve been warned by Minho and my manager to not go to too many openly date-like places with you.” He says letting me in first.

“Jay this is fine, I don’t have to have some fancy restaurant; this is actually preferred.” I say happily stepping inside. Jay’s apartment had a couple of noticeable differences, the table set for us out on the terrace. “This is much better.” I say walking over to the table, dragging my fingers against the table top I smile back at Jay, him just watching me with a dreamlike expression on his face. “What?”

Shaking his head he walks over taking my hand. “I’m just happy. So for dinner I decided to go for a more Italian. Pasta with a sauce that I am told is divine.” He says taking me into the kitchen. “My mom thought it’d be a good idea for us to make it together.” It's sweet that he got advice from his mother, such good advice.

Smiling I see the things set out on the counter for us to start. “You got good advice.” I tell him stepping forward. Preparing the vegetables for the sauce Jay and I both stand next to each other smiling over at each other shyly. “This is really nice.” I mumble blissfully.

Jay happily sets his knife down as I finish, him likewise, the two of us continue making dinner happily chatting hitting our awkward spots but talking past them.

“So can I ask you something?” He asks as we sit down on the terrace next to each other eating. Nodding my head I look at him curiously, his facial expression telling me that this isn’t exactly the easiest thing to ask. It’s the same face he made when he asked me why I was picking up my shoe in the rain. “I know I asked you already, but I can’t help but wonder.” He starts Jay’s voice careful and steady like he’s still trying to pick the right words. “I just…I know you came to Korea recently, Min said you’ve only been at JYPE for a four months or so.” He says quietly, his voice gaining strength and seriousness. “If this is temporary you being in Korea, what will you do?” He asks me looking into my eyes studying them carefully like he's trying to find all the right answers and sort them out from what he wants to hear.

Surprised I stare at him for a few moments trying to think of the honest answer, something so I don’t have to lie or hide anything from Jay. “Honestly I might not go back. There really isn’t much there for me.” I tell him quietly, feeling a little bit of shame. “With how things played out I really don’t have a reason to go back. Besides being here I’m growing, I don’t have any choice but to be strong and to keep trying. I like it here even if I’m here under circumstances I’d rather not be under. I’m living my life the way I think is right. I’m learning…” I mumble as I ramble a somewhat relevant answer. “I’m happy; I haven’t felt happy like this in such a long time.”

Taking my hand Jay smiles at me, caressing my face with his other hand, being here with him I don’t need him to tell me anything, all I need is for him to try to understand. “I want you to be happy.” He whispers smiling at me. “You look your best when you smile and mean it.” He says taking my plate, switching gears quickly, checking his watch he smiles at me, “I have a couple more places to take you before I take you home.” He says grinning confidently.

 

Staring out at the city I gasp in surprise by how beautiful it is from our vantage point in Namsan Park. “You’re full of surprises.” I mumble happily, leaning into Jay I look up at him looking out at the skyline. He really is striking, not just striking but totally captivating. Focusing on him is like trying to count all the stars in the night sky, trying to take in all the details with him really is hard, but trying to and just scratching the surface is breath taking. Looking back out at the skyline I try relax, trying to let my heart calm down and to stop beating so fast.

“You know I couldn’t see myself being attracted to a girl since I came to Korea, it’s always been music, for such a long time now…” He mumbles into my hair next to my ear. “Then I see you.”

Chuckling I turn to face him, looking him in the eyes I smile at him full of contentment, holding his arm supporting me. “I know what you mean.” I tell him softly looking at the grass around us. “I hadn’t wanted to meet anyone, I just wanted to figure out my plan to deal with everything, but here I am enjoying your company.” I mumble quietly. Jay twirls my hair around his fingers taking in what I’d just said, pursing my lips I let out a somewhat bitter laugh. “I always end up saying more than I mean around you.”

Jay just smiles at me still playing with my hair. “I do the same around you. It’s like I have the urge to just get everything off my chest and be honest with you.” He says in a low tone, his voice calm and distant. “I like that I don’t focus on music around you, and I never thought I’d ever feel something like that.” He confesses taking hold of my hand.
Smiling at him I nod my head. I can understand where he’s coming from. I never really thought I’d be feeling anything like this for someone like Jay or anyone for that matter. After all the guy is goofy, super talented, good-looking, dorky, a little bit of a odd ball, does what he feels like doing, wild, understanding, but he’s also my savior. I dreamed of guys like Jay for the longest time, he’d been some far off dream, in fact everyone I’ve met here in Korea would have been some mirage that I’d come up with in L.A. yet here I am enjoying my time with them. Here I am being an actual person instead of just some third party that got to watch but never experience. “I can relate. I never would have thought I’d need someone to save me like you did.” I say tracing his facial features with my fingers, letting them run over the details of his face. “This all seems like a dream.” I mumble retracting my arm to rest my head on his chest.

Hearing the rumble of his laughter and feeling his chest shake, his arms wrapping around me to hold me against his very muscular chest, felt good, the light squeeze holding me in place as if I’d finally found somewhere where I’d belong. “It isn’t, now come on I have one last stop before I take you home.” He whispers pulling me up with him.

Time with Jay always goes by so fast, I feel like I’d just gotten home slightly upset from the call with Junsu. Even so I wouldn’t change anything about it. Getting to spend time with him is enough, even if it doesn’t feel like it. “Ice cream?” I ask as he parks in front of a vendor. “You know how to top off a date.” I say gleefully.

“You know I like that you like the simple things.” He says brightly, opening my door he lends me his hand, keeping mine in his we walk carefully over to the vendor, “Two chocolates please.” Jay says knowingly, smiling at me he wriggles his eyebrows. “Impressed?”

Nodding my head I happily take the cone, beating Jay to paying, for once. “You can let me get this at least.”

Finally complying Jay and I head for a short walk to finish our ice creams. Taking me home Jay walks me inside. “Thank you for tonight.” I say smiling at Jay, “I had the best time you goof.” I say laughing as he pushes my hair out of my face again.

“Good, because next time I’m taking you shopping for your apartment,” He says laughing. “Next week?” He asks me hopefully.

“I can’t. They’re filming all of next weekend; they’ll throw a fit if I miss two shoots.” I say apologetically. “But maybe we could meet up for lunch or dinner sometime during the week.”

Rocking on my heels I smile as he nods fervently, leaning forward till I can feel his breath on my lips, both of us closing our eyes, as our lips meet I felt my heart beat like crazy, Jay’s hand coming up to hold my head while my hands wrap around Jay’s waist. Pulling apart I smile at him, the kiss had been short but impossibly sweet. “I’ll text you for lunch? Monday?” He asks grinning like a fool that’d just won some kind of prize.

Giggling I nod my head. “Monday is perfect.” I say releasing him from my grasp. “Goodnight, Prince Charming.” I say as he kisses the top of my head sending a shot of joy through my entire body, more than the kiss we’d just shared.

“Night Hollywood.” He says tenderly, “I’ll call you tomorrow after I get out of the studio.”

Grinning I agree. “Be careful alright?” I say as he turns to leave.

“Always.”

 

Being in the fabulous mood that I am in, I happily do 2PM’s laundry while they sleep in. Between loads I begin to make them breakfast, slowly but surely all six amble their way to the table set for them. “Morning!” I chirp as I wipe down the counters before I start on the dishes. “How was filming?”

Chansung stretches letting out a yawn, inspecting the breakfast I’d made. “It was a lot of fun. It’s a shame you weren’t there. I missed you.” He says sweetly.

“Yeah, I did too!” Junho and Wooyoung both add in enthusiastically, while Nichkhun, Taecyeon and Junsu nod in agreement less so than the younger members.

“Will you be there next week?” Junsu asks me with a knowing look directed at me. Nodding my head I simply beam at them. Dashing off as I hear the dryer, quickly switching the last load I take the clothes to be folded then delivered.

As I set Junsu’s down he stops me from leaving for a moment. “I take it your date went fantastic.” Nodding my head I let out a content sigh. “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this, but be careful ok? Not just with him but with the others.” Confused I open my mouth to ask him what he meant only for him to shake his head. “You’ll understand eventually.”


I'll be honest, I'm terrible at writing date scenes, I can't ever think of any really good dialog to add so I always end up summarizing, but I'll do my best to improve so that I can write something fantastic for you guys that's a romantic date scene. ^^ Anyways let me know what you guys think please :D

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DokiTokki
Rebelling Heart: Posted the sequel today, New Beginnings!

Comments

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actually_hungry
#1
Chapter 12: im a bit confused, why does she keep getting shaky at the wheel? did i miss something? BTW really loving this fic :)
YummyTubbyToast
#2
Chapter 71: I know that I made a freakishly long comment line, but I just wanna say that this story gave me an incredible amount of feels that ugh...I love this fic!!!:) your writing is amazing too.
YummyTubbyToast
#3
Chapter 71: Damn. A sad ending....I'm definitely reading the sequel.
YummyTubbyToast
#4
Chapter 65: I love isobel lol
YummyTubbyToast
#5
Chapter 62: OMFG YES YES you have no idea how happy I am...\(^_^)/
YummyTubbyToast
#6
Chapter 60: Oh my f-ing god (sorry for f bomb) I had a strong feeling that this would happen. It just seems that the story would seem lost without that horrible part:'( ugh I really hope she ends up with nichkhun, although the feeling is telling me otherwise.
YummyTubbyToast
#7
Chapter 51: Oh my friggen god that was so friggen hotXD
YummyTubbyToast
#8
Chapter 46: I want friends like minho, miyoung, and ian:)
YummyTubbyToast
#9
Chapter 41: The whole reason I'm reading this fic is because of nichkhun, so this chapter definitely had me...lol
YummyTubbyToast
#10
Chapter 29: Yes omg yes, so it'll be nichkhun *dances in room* I'm so frraking happy omfg...I always wanted her to end up with him..