Ahri
Finished 2/7/2014

Kidnapped: A Snippet from the Past
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/645906/kidnapped-a-snippet-from-the-past-fluff-romcom-historical-exo-xiuhan-chanhun-baekchen

About: Baekhyun(Exo)+Chen(Exo), Luhan(Exo)+Xiumin(Exo), romance, comedy, fluff, slighthistorical, time travelling

Title: 5/5 I love it. Full marks. This title is very unique and fits the plot.

Foreword: 9/10 In your author note where you say that Xiumin and Chen are going to change as they adapt to the 21st century is a bit too revealing. Also, this is only my personal opinion, but the author note should be in the foreword or at the bottom. Since this is more of a personal preference, I'm not going to take points off, but it would look better in the foreword. Another thing, nearing the bottom of the excerpt (like right before the last paragraph), "He leaned danergously to Baekhyun..." should be 'He leaned dangerously close to Baekhyun...' Otherwise, great foreword! I like how you explained what the Balhae Era was at the bottom.

Plot: 20/20 Amazing plot. Absolutely brilliant. Everything is placed neatly, and it shows that you did a lot of research, especially for the Balhae Era. There are some moments when I'm like "I think this is a mistake" but then I continue reading and I find out it's not. Your plot is unique and well-planned out.

Characters: 19/20 One thing that caught my attention is how Baekhyun agreed so easily to the kidnapping of Chen. You should describe his doubts and fears more. Otherwise, great characterization.

Grammar and Spelling: 19/20 That is your only mistake. Excellent job.

Chapter four, P(aragraph)101 "Dae Gwang Hyeon was the last Crown Primce..." should be "Dae Gwang Hyeon was the last Crown Prince..."

Flow: 15/15 At first I thought the flow was going too fast, but then you added events to smooth it out. Good job.

Enjoyment: 5/5 I enjoyed this story a lot. The plot and characters are amazing.

Structure: 5/5 It's organized and neat. Full score.

Overall: 97/100 Your characters are well-planned out, the grammar and spelling are perfect, and the plot is very well planned. It shows how much research you did in order to create this story. Great comedy without making it too ridiculous. I actually laughed a lot while reading this, especially the scene with Xiumin's shower scene.

Reply: Thank you for the review!! I'll work on those points you mentioned :)