Ahri
Finished 1/18/2014

Starstruck: Daechun High
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/626117/starstruck-daechun-high-highschool-romance-exo-kai-chanyeol-kris
About: Chanyeol(Exo), Kris(Exo), Kai(Exo), romance, comedy, highschool, best friend, crush, kingkas

Title: 4/5 I suppose the title is creative and original, but it seems more of a title of a fanfic about everything about a school, not just one girl and her problems. It's kind of like Dream High or Glee, per se. Like how they involve more than one couple.

Foreword: 9/10 I like the description overall except for "She may just have noticed Chanyeol, a best friend of 14 years..." should be 'She may have just noticed Chanyeol, her best friend for fourteen years...' In a story, always write out the number. This goes for Chanyeol's description as well. For Jaewoong's description, "...the jokester and mood-maker, around others, she's beautiful and leader-life. Although it may seem like she doesn't have outstanding feelings..." should be '...the jokester and mood-maker; around others, she's beautiful and leader-like. Although it may seem like she is not nice..' I don't really know what "outstanding" is referring to because outstanding is not really a word used to describe feelings. Just my personal opinion, but you should write your character descriptions in the foreword, not description.

Plot: 17/20 The plot is kind of cliché, especially the part where Jaewoong gets paired up with Kai for a project. That's really overused, but I do like how the story revolves around more than two guys. Other than Chanyeol and Kai, there's also Kris's whose role is unknown for now, but he seems interesting.

Characters: 19/20 I like how Kris is one of the main characters, but he doesn't show up yet, making him really mysterious. One thing I don't like is how you described Jaewoong as beautiful in the foreword because it makes her seem really mary-sue and a lot like a self-insert.

Grammar and Spelling: 20/20 First of all, in a story, always write out the number in word form. Otherwise, you have perfect grammar and spelling. There aren't even any mistypes whatsoever.

Flow: 15/15 Normally, I would say your flow is a bit too fast, but the way you plan out the events makes up for it. You add in events at the appropriate time, smoothing out your flow.

Enjoyment: 5/5 I really like the story and how you write out the drama, especially Jaewoong's character. I like how she's bold and not afraid to act unladylike.

Structure: 5/5 Full score. Everything's neat and well-spaced. I also like how you give your chapters names like "first, second, third" instead of putting 'one, two, three'. That's really original.

Overall: 94/100 The grammar, spelling, and characters are really well-written. The only thing I don't really like is how the plot is somewhat cliché, but maybe you'll add in some twists later? So far, your story is really fun to read, especially with all those details.

Reply: thank you for the super helpful review! I'll be sure to keep your advice and comments in mind. i've credited, and again, thank you so much! :)