Katrina
Finished on 11/15/2013

Crooked
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/548185/

About: G-Dragon(Big Bang), CL(2NE1), TOP(Big Bang), drama, journal, dark, drugs, rated for language

Title: 5/5 Absolutely perfect for the plot of the story. It symbolizes Jiyong's descend into madness as he makes more and more rash decisions everyday.

Foreword: 9/10 "He's stuck in between whether or not he's ready to hurt the ones he loves for his satisfaction or face the reality" is a tad bit too vague. I feel you should add some details and give us a small idea of what exactly does he want to do that he would have to hurt his loved ones for. Otherwise, everything is perfect, being neat and organized.

Plot: 25/25 From what I have read, I get the feeling of a lost boy high on drugs slowly descending his way into madness while still clutching onto the last thread of sanity through his love for Chae. You outlined his confusion and anger flawlessly, and you showed his and Chae's secret relationship and the problems of it, being how he is a regular bartender - a nobody - while she is a famous person.

Characters: 25/25 Jiyong is a person many of us can relate to due to his battle with his mind over drugs, love, and sanity. He displays a picture of a twenty-something year old just entering the vast city. I can personally understand his battle with his mind as he starts to lose himself to drugs, because someone I know just recently revealed that he had been doing drugs for a while.

Grammar/Spelling: 20/20 Being that this is a journal entry styled story, you easily planned out which places should be in past tense and which should be present. You use bad language to show Jiyong's frustration at his inability to grasp what's going on with his mind.
In chapter two, "I know there motive of showing me my babies so I could go home..." should be 'I know their motive of showing me my babies so I could go home...'

Flow: 15/15 Normally, I would say that Jiyong met Chae too early, but since this is a journal styled story, the timing is perfect, because this is centered around their relationship, and other things too.

Overall: 99/100 Nearly perfect score, congratulations. I love the dark theme of a boy's struggle with city life and peer pressure. Your grammar and spelling is perfect, the flow is even, and the plot is original, and overall, everything is well-written.

Reply: Merci! I'll add the link to my story when I'm on a computer. This is really helpful and puts me in a great mood that you thought this. Thank you so much.