Ahri
Finished 2/6/2014

Falling
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/608139/falling-exo-suho

About: Suho(Exo)+OC, romance, crush

Title: 5/5 Perfect. It relates the story and is eye-catching to the readers. Full marks.

Foreword: 8/10 Your description is too short and simple, even with the excerpt. Try to add some details to give a better glimpse of the story. I know you have that excerpt but try to still include some more details in the description.

Plot: 19/20 I like the plot, but it's too bland. It almost feels like the story is a drabble, not a oneshot. There's aren't a lot of parts where the story picks up and has some action to leave the readers satisfied. While you can leave the ending hanging like that, you should describe the events prior to it more vividly.

Characters: 19/20 The characters are pretty well-thought out and described realistically, but I feel like the story ended without the readers really understanding what the characters are thinking. The story ended before the readers can really connect to Suho and understand his feelings, along with the girl.

Grammar and Spelling: 19/20 You have a few run-on sentences. Otherwise, you only have one mistype.

P(aragraph)6 "It sounded nice, off course you are not the first person..." should be 'It sounded nice, but of course you are not the first person...'

Enjoyment: 4/5 I enjoyed the story a lot, but I feel like the plot is missing an element because it seems a bit dull.

Structure: 5/5 Full score. It's neat and legible.

Overall: 79/85=93 The plot feels a bit dull and too monotone since there really isn't any major action to bring the story to life. The ending feels too abrupt, and it seems like you want it to be that way, but try to make it more smoother, even if it ends there. Try to make it flow into that ending instead of leaving it hanging there. Otherwise, great characters and spelling.

Reply: Thanks for the review. I will definitely be talking your advice ^^ it was all very helpful! I hope you have a lovely day!