Katrina
Finished 11/29/2013

My Last Words
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/554117/my-last-words-oneshot-psychological-sad-exo-baekhyun-chanyeol

About: Baekhyun(Exo)+Chanyeol(Exo), oneshot, angst, psychological

Title: 5/5 Normally, I wouldn't place 'My' in the title but since this is a oneshot, it works. It fits the story well and is showing what the main plot is.

Foreword: 9/10 "...sometimes you won't get the chance to do so, life will thwart one's plans." should be '...sometimes you won't get the chance to do so; life will thwart one's plans.' You can use either a semi-colon or period. Otherwise, your forword is good. Personally, I would prefer to place the author note and credit at the very bottom.

Plot: 22/25 It's interesting, but I don't understand why Baekhyun is leaving. You give a vague impression of Baekhyun dying, perhaps? If he is, in fact, dying then you should add something at the bottom like 'Byun Baekhyun died on the night of November 29, 2013 from cancer'. Or anything. That is optional, of course, but you just add some details. Why is he leaving?

Characters: 25/25 I like the way you portray the characters and show their lives seperately as Baekhyun visits them. You also did a good job with making Baekhyun mysterious to make the readers yearn to find out what he is going to do.

Grammar and Spelling: 18/20 Your grammar is good. You keep your tenses in line, use many details, and barely have any grammar or spelling mistakes except for really small ones that I pointed out below.

In chapter one, "It was nothing knew that he addressed Suho like that." should be 'It was nothing new that he addressed Suho like that.'
2. "...followed by Lay while Suho kept his seat, not moving and inch." should be '...followed by Lay while Suho kept his seat, not moving an inch.'
3. "So~ anything you'd like to drinkß" should be 'So...anything you'd like to drink?'
4. "Baekhyun smiled at the no frowning boy and pecked his left cheek..." should be 'Baekhyun smiled at the still frowning boy and pecked his left cheek...'

Overall: 79/85=93 The tragic story of a young man leaving behind his friends and love. You did a good job with portraying the characters individually. I just feel like it's too vague. You do not have to give a full explanation of where he's going, but an implied idea would be nice.

Reply: Thank you so much for the review!!Didn't think I'd get such a high score^^ Oh and about the ending; I let it out in the open cause I wasn't even sure myself if I wanted him to die or just run away.. ;_; but once again, thank you so much (: