Katrina
Finished 1/5/2014

When Jong Dae becomes Chen
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/565351/when-jong-dae-becomes-chen-angst-friendship-exo-exok-exom-chen-jongdae

About: Chen(Exo), Exo, friendship, angst, fluff, trainee days

Title: 5/5 It fits the story well and gives a glimpse of the plot without exposing the whole story.

Foreword: 8/10 While it is neat and organized, your description should be in present tense right after the first sentence. Everything else is perfect, but your trailer and poster credit should be below the foreword.

Plot: 18/20 The plot is really unique, and there are plenty of twists to spice up the story, but Chen's family and past life seem to be forgotten as the story progresses along.

Characters: 18/20 Everyone is characterized perfectly, and I love how you build Chen's bond with everyone slowly, one by one, instead of rushing it together all at once. The only thing is, what happened to Chen's family and Ji Hyo? Right after he debuted, he had not called or thought of his family at all.

Grammar and Spelling: 17/20 You switch from past tense to present too many times. Try to stick to only one tense. Another thing, you keep switching from 'realise' to 'realize'. Though they have the same meaning, you have to pick one of the other, because 'realise' is British English while 'realize' is American. Also, you keep spelling negative negatif. There are also some really small mistakes like an extra letter in a word or a period in the wrong spot (probably a mistype) that I left alone.

In chapter one, P(aragraph)2 "...studying before being- rudely- interupted by his noona." should be '...studying before being- rudely- interrupted by his noon.'

In chapter three, P9"Most of the things they say are negatif anyway." should be "Most of the things they say are negative anyway."
2.P32 "...Jun Myeon gave him a thumbs up and told Jong Dae..." should be 'Joon Myeon gave him a thumls up and told Jong Dae...'
3.P34 "Well except this hyung who were nice to..." should be 'Well except this hyung who was nice to...'

In chapter four, "Every trainee are now either amazed..." should be 'Every trainne was now either amazed...'
2.P5 "...but I catched up right away with a little help from this creepy..." should be '...but I caught up right away with a little help from this creepy...'
3.P23 "...who are sometimes more childish compared to himself but it was moments like this that makes Jong Dae..." should be '...who was sometimes more childish compared to himself but it was moments like this that makes Jong Dae...'

In chapter five,P6 "YOU!" he accidently shouted at that boy." should be "YOU!" he accidentally shouted at that boy.'

Flow: 15/15 This is the first time I have read a story that has perfect flow. Every event comes in at a reasonable time, and the story flows evenly without getting too boring or rushed.

Enjoyment: 4/5 I love the way you describe how Chen meets every memeber of Exo slowly and how he builds bonds with everyone. While everything else is perfect, you habit of changing from past to present tense really irked me.

Structure: 4/5 Do not change the font color at any time, even if it is only one word, like a name. Also, do not bold anything unless it's a sign or something written on a piece of paper. I do love how you link things in the story to make it easier for the readers so they don't have to go through the trouble of searching it up. At the part where you inserted an author note to prove that Sehun has a bracelet, you should add it at the end of the story in the author note instead of the middle.

Overall: 89/100 The story is amazing; the plot is interesting, the characters are well-written, and the flow is flawless. I would recommend this, but your tense changes occur too much. My advice to you is to look over your work when you're done, or have a friend look over it for you.

Reply: Picked up and credited. Thank you so much for the helpful review.