Bleu
Finished on 12/3/2013

Matches
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/604150/matches-fxband-victoria-drabble-exo-yixing

About: Victoria(f(x))+Lay(Exo), drabble, smoking

Title 5/5 – This title is really simple and unique. Basically, it's exactly what the story is about. I wasn't quite sure how matches would be embellished into your story, but you did a really good job. When I first saw the title, I wasn't quite sure if this story was going to be good or not. In the end, my eyes had deceived me. Although it doesn't seem like it, the title has a really deep meaning.

Foreword 6/10 – The foreword is neat and simple. It lacks creativeness and originality though. The sentence you wrote in the description is really good and relevant, but I wish you elaborated on it more. I suggest adding some more words, and make it like into a more interesting quote or poem. Besides the one-sentence description, there is no more information. Like I said before, it is neat but lacks creativity.

Plot 14/20 – I noticed your story is mainly told in metaphors; a lot of metaphors. You did a good job telling a story without adding dialogue. Although the metaphors are outstanding, they aren't that original. Your plot goes straight to the point and it ends with the . I don't see many stories like this; you did a really good job. Although, I wish you would add some more rising actions. When I first started reading this, I had no clue where this was going. There are no aspects of the problem in the beginning or in the middle. I had only realized the problem at the ending. Is there a way for you to possibly give us a hint of the problem in the beginning or middle of the story?

Characters 16/20 – I didn't really see much of character development throughout the story. Possibly because there isn't much to read since it is so short. Though I didn't see much emotion from Victoria, I did see some emptiness inside her. I also noticed that she and Yixing had a complicated relationship. Even though Yixing didn't appear in the story, I could tell that he controlled every aspect of their relationship.

Grammar and Spelling 19/20 – Your grammar and spelling is amazing. Your metaphors are really good, except they lack originality and creativity. You don't let your dialogue tell the story, but the way you write the story itself.

Enjoyment 4/5 – This story is really really good, it's one of the deepest and most emotional stories I've ever read. Everything is really good, but I really wish you introduced the problem earlier in the story.

Structure 5/5 – Since it is so short, there isn't much to notice. The paragraph spacing is good, and the font size is not too big or small.

Overall 69/85=81/100 The story is really good. The grammar and spelling are perfect. You just need to tweak some things here and there.

Reply: Thanks for the review.