Katrina
Finished on 9/27/2013

The Melancholy Sound of the Guitar
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/471144/the-melancholy-sound-of-the-guitar-jiyeon-myungsoo-romance-myungyeon

About: Myungsoo (Inifnite), Jiyeon (T-ara), romance, angst, orphan, breakup, guitar, music

Title: 4/5 The title is very attractive and soulful. If I see it while looking up stories, I will be interested in it. Your title is perfectly fine and this is just my personal opinion so don't think too much on it, but I would do a shorter title like 'Melancholy Chords' instead of 'The Melancholy Sound of the Guitar'. I prefer shorter titles, but your title is good.

Foreword: 8/10 I am a er for the Times New Roman font at size 12 or 14 so when I saw your foreword, I knew your story would be a good one, which is surprising, considering the rest of AFF. The description of Jiyeon is nice and long and doesn't reveal too much of her character. Only thing is, you should add Myungsoo and put in his view of the situation. Your story gives a good look at the plot of the story without giving away all of the secrets and it is very neat and well put together. All you need are the descriptions for Myungsoo and any other important characters you may add.

Plot: 23/25 The plotline started off as cliche (running away from an orphanage is very common) until it got to the beginning of the plot where it changed into a different story of a girl whose heart was broken because she wasn't ready. But the thing is...playing guitar in the streets won't get you a lot of money. It won't be enough to pay the rent so Jiyeon may have to eventually get another job.

Characters: 25/25 Jiyeon is rather believable for a girl who just got dumped by her boyfriend. It is common for a girl to feel betrayed and hate herself for falling in love with a jerk. Myungsoo is also realistic for acting mysterious and confusing with his actions, and he leaves the reader wondering if he is serious or he is just messing with her heart again.

Grammar and Spelling: 20/20 No mistakes at all. Is English your mother language? I love how you kept to past tense in your story because I know many writers, even amazing ones, sometimes wander off and start writing in present tense.

Flow: 13/15 So far, the story is going a tad bit too fast. In the first too chapters, Jiyeon is just thinking about her breakup with Myungsoo and then the next day, she meets him again. I feel that you should add an event in between that time so it won't seem rushed.

Overall: 93/100. The story is great and there are no grammar mistakes. It is rare to find a story with proper grammar usage on AFF so you should be proud of yourself. I know I'm supposed to be the honest critic but I am being honest. I didn't expect my first client to have a good story, actually, so you really surprised me.

Reply: Thank you so much for the review...English isn't my mother language. Thanks again T_T. I requested a review because I needed constructive criticism. So yeah the score does not matter to me.