By Wednesday you were completely worn out. After Kai had left on Monday you stayed in the studio until eight that night and Tuesday was no different, making your way to the studio at 9 in the morning at not leaving until almost ten that night. Chanyeol had called you three times, which you had missed and you kept telling yourself that you would call him back but you forgot yet again when on Wednesday night at eight thirty you made your way to your room and instantly fell asleep as you hit the pillows.

The next morning you allowed yourself to sleep in and rest for the day, shuffling down to the kitchen around noon to get something to eat.

“You’ve finally immerged.” Kris commented from the table in between bites of chicken.

“Yea, I couldn’t sleep any longer.” You sighed sitting opposite him.

“Are you going to stay around here today?” He asked curiously.

“I think so, I need to rest before the show tomorrow night.”

“Good idea. We all thought something was wrong cause you didn’t come around at all.”

“No, just training.” You smiled lightly.

Kai walked into the kitchen and sat down beside you, “You really need to call Chanyeol.” He said sternly.

“Yea, I’m going to later.” You replied, “I just woke up.”

“He is really worried that you’re mad at him or getting cold feet or something. He said that you haven’t answered his calls since Sunday.”

“Yea, I just keep forgetting cause I’ve been at the studio.”

“That’s another thing, you can’t go today cause you have to rest. You aren’t going to be able to dance tomorrow if you don’t relax a bit.”

“Yes dad.” You laughed, getting up, “I’m going to call him right now.” You exited the kitchen and walked up to your room, closing the door quietly behind you.

You called Chanyeol and sat down on your bed, getting back under the covers.

“Sarah?” His voice came over the line abruptly.

“Hi Chanyeol.” You said sweetly, hoping to make up for the lack of contact.

“Are you okay?” He asked quickly.

“Yea, I’m fine, I’ve just been training.” You talked confidently but as you heard his voice over the phone you could feel the tears welling up in your eyes.

“You need to go easy on yourself,” He said, “There is such a thing as working too hard. I don’t want you to injure yourself and you need to rest.” The care in his voice was unquestionable.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you back.” You said quietly a sob coming out.

“Are you crying?”

“No.” You said quickly, breathing deeply.

“Why are you crying baby?” He asked, concerned. “Can you video call me?”

“I-I don’t want you to see me like this.” You huffed. Before you could say anything else he had hung up and was calling you again.

You answered and turned the camera down so that it was looking at the pillow.

“I want to see your beautiful face.” You turned the camera towards your face at his sweet words, rubbing your eyes. “Awh…Sarah…I wish I was there.” He rubbed his face and shook his head.

“I’m okay.” You said feebly, “Just tired, and stressed about the dance. I just needed a cry.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Seeing your face already makes me feel better.” You smiled, feeling happier already.

“Just a week and a bit and we get to see each other.” He reminded you.

“It still seems so far.” You yawned and lay down, propping your phone against the pillow.

“You look tired, do you want me to go?” He asked.

“No, will you sing to me till I fall asleep?”

“Of course.” He blew you a kiss which you returned before you shut your eyes.

신께 감사하네 천사가 보여
눈물이 고여 할렐루야
천사가 보여 눈물이 고여
감동이 넘쳐 할렐루야

* * * * *

You woke up to someone knocking on your door. “Yea?” You asked groggily.

“I have some food for you.” Kai said as the door swung open. “I noticed you haven’t really been eating. We all ordered in for supper so I saved some for you.”

You turned the bedside lamp on and sat up, moving over so Kai could sit next to you. He set the tray down in front of you and looked towards your face, doing a double take.

“Have you been crying?” He asked.

“Uh, yea.” You sniffed subconsciously and smiled at him, “But I feel a lot better now. I talked to Chanyeol and I feel so much better. I think I was just really tired and overworked, I just needed to let off some steam.”

“I understand that,” Kai laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Everyone needs a good cry every once and a while.”

“Yea,” You started eating and he sat for a while just watching you.

“You know you really scared Chanyeol.” Kai suddenly got very serious.

“Yea…” You sighed.

“I’m serious. He really thought something bad had happened.” You turned to face Kai now. “I’ve never seen Chanyeol show deep emotion towards anything unless it was happy. The night that you sat us down and told us what happened to you…” He took a deep breath. “When you went upstairs Chanyeol broke down…he cried for you.”

You started to cry all over again. Kai wrapped his arm around you.

“I’m sorry, Sarah, I just…I know that Chanyeol will never tell you about stuff like that. He just wants you to see how much he loves you and he doesn’t want to burden you with his feelings.”

“Am I burdening him with my feelings?” You started sobbing, you felt like an anime character with big tears funning down your face.

“That’s not it at all.” Kai hugged you, patting your head. “He wants to know what you’re thinking all the time.”

You pulled away from Kai and looked at your food.

“I don’t think I’ve very hungry.” You stated, pushing the phone away. “I have to call Chanyeol.” You said, grabbing your phone. You looked at the clock to see that it was six o’clock.

Kai took the tray and smiled at you before closing the door behind him.

You took a minute to organize your thoughts before calling him. You were going to tell Chanyeol that Jackson called you and that you had started to think about telling your mother about everything and maybe bring her back into your life. You took a deep breath, staring at the ring on your left hand before calling Chanyeol.

“Hey lovely.” His voice sounded over the phone, startling you.

“Hi Chan.”

“Did you just wake up? You really must have needed the sleep.” He laughed. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yea, I just have some stuff to tell you…”

“Uh, okay.” You could hear the worry in his voice.

“Jackson called me a few days ago.” There was silence on the other end of the line so you decided to continue without getting too caught up on Chanyeol. “He told me my mother has been contacting him a lot to try to get a hold of me. He got my number from Jason I guess.”

“So have you been talking to him regularly?” Chanyeol asked abruptly, cutting you off.

“No.” You said, slightly annoyed. “I haven’t. He hasn’t tried to call me again either. I think it was just a one time thing. Anyways, I think I’m going to tell my mum.”

“You’re going to tell her?” He said quickly, “Right now?”

“No, I have to think about it more.” You were silent for a minute, “Chanyeol?”

“Yea?”

“I don’t want you to worry about Jackson. I don’t care that he called.” You said quietly. “I just wanted to tell you that I love you so much and I just want you here…”

You and Chanyeol talked for three more hours about talking to your mother and anything else you could think of. It made you miss him more than you already did.

* * * * *

Kai woke you up at nine the next morning to get ready for the dress rehearsal. You were dressed and out the door by nine thirty both eating apples on the way.

“You feel better today?” He asked once you had left the house.

“Much better. I think that being overtired was just making me really emotional.” You took another bite of your apple and smiled widely. “I’ve just been debating calling my mum and telling her. I think she should know but at the same time I don’t think I have the heart to call her.”

“You still have time.” Kai said simply, “Its only been a little over a week.”

“Yea, that’s what Chanyeol said.” You laughed. You opened the door to the theatre and let Kai walk in first.

“See you in a bit.” He said waving as he entered the boy’s dressing room.

Before you set your stuff done the other girls were coming up to you and asking questions.

“You’re engaged?”

“Can I see your ring?”

“But I thought you were dating Kai?”

“One at a time!” You laughed, starting to get changed into your first costume. “I was never dating Kai.” You shook your head at the idea.

One of the girls grabbed your hand and looked at the ring, “It’s so beautiful!” She cooed, “It must have cost loads!”

“I’m not sure.” You said honestly. “I love it though, it’s exactly what I would have thought it to be like.”

The girls’ squealed. “So is Chanyeol going to be coming tomorrow night?”

“No, he got into an accident last week and he has to stay home for a couple weeks to recover.”

“Awh, I hope he’s alright. It’s so sad that he doesn’t get to see you dance. We’re all really excited to see your solo piece.”

“Thanks, I hope it goes well. The rehearsal is the first time I’m doing it front of anyone but Kai.” You admitted.

“Girl’s we’re starting.” The runner warned, peaking into the dressing room. You all said okay and finished up, before leaving and getting in line on side stage to begin.

The first piece was your whole class doing a section of Swan Lake; it was followed by some solo pieces and then a piece done by the boys, and then one by the girls. The rehearsal ran quite smoothly and you were in the dressing room alone getting ready for your solo piece.

Your costume was simple, a pair of black spandex shorts with a black tank top and a large flannel over it. You took your hair out so that it hung loose around your shoulders and took a deep breath looking yourself over in the mirror.

“Looking good.” You heard Jinhai say behind you.

“What do you want?”

“Just to wish you good luck.” He said swiftly. He walked over and leaned against the counter. “Also, I don’t piss where I eat. If I had known you were going to be around I wouldn’t have even spoken to you.”

“You would have found someone else to take advantage of.” You spat.

He chuckled and rubbed his hands together. “Well, yea, I guess your right. I just wanted to make things clear.”

With that he left the dressing room.

You walked out not five minutes after feeling quite a bit better about everything. It wasn’t going to be a problem anymore. Jinhai wasn’t someone you needed to concern yourself with.

You knew that to other people it might seem like you forgave him too easily. It wasn’t forgiveness. You had spent the last few months scared that he would do it again and now you had his word that it wouldn’t you felt something come back to you that you had forgotten. Courage.

You walked backstage and started to warm up a bit, there was just one more song until you went up and you were starting to get really nervous.

The girls whispered good luck to you as you stepped up to go on stage. The music for the last song ended and the lights went down, you ran onto stage and got into position.  

The song started and you opened your eyes, staring out into the seats, and saw Kai staring back at you smiling encouragingly. You began to dance, doing everything just as you rehearsed without a hitch.

You walked off stage when you were done and were greeted by so many ou’s and ah’s at your choreography. You could hardly breath and you ran outside for some fresh air before having to return inside.

“That was so good!” Kai yelled, hugging you as you walked towards him.

“Thanks!” You smiled, “Don’t touch me too much I’m all sweaty.” You laughed, wiping your forehead on your flannel.

“Naw, we’re all sweaty its fine.” He put his arm around you walking you back towards your dressing room.

* * * * *

The rest of the rehearsal went well and you packed quickly after, walking back home with Kai. Once you were back home you started getting organized and ready for the show. Kai was nice enough to put some of your things in the wash with his and you went to shower so that you could eat and do your makeup before having to be back at the theatre.

You ran downstairs after your shower and were pleasantly surprised by the ramen that greeted you at the table.

“I figured you needed something fast to eat.” Kyungsoo said simply from across the table. You thanked him wordlessly by taking a large bite of noodles, giving thumbs up as you chewed.

“I’m so happy you are all coming tonight.” You said cheerfully. “It’s going to be great to actually have people there to support Kai and me.”

“Your parents never came to your dance stuff?” Tao asked.

“Not really.” You said, not wanting to get into it. “They were always busy.”

“Well no worries, cause we’re going to be in the front row watching your fabulous self.” Baekhyun laughed.

“What about my fabulous self?” Kai asked walking into the kitchen.

“Yea, yea, we’ll watch you too.” Baekhyun said passively but smiled at Kai afterwards.

Kai ate with you all and then you went upstairs to do your makeup.

Time passed quickly and before you knew it you were back at the theatre, stretching and warming up with the rest of your class.

You went back into the dressing room and saw that you had a text.

 

From Chanyeol

I love you, I know you’re going to do great tonight. Call me after xoxo

To Chanyeol

Thanks babe! I will, I love you too!

 

You turned your phone off and got into your costume just in time for the five-minute warning lights to flicker.

The show passed so quickly, you were constantly running to get changed or go on stage but the moment before you stepped on stage to do your solo it was like time stopped. You could hear your breathing as you walked on stage. The crowd was silent and you tried to calm yourself down by thinking about how all of your friends had come to watch and support you tonight.

That seemed to only make you feel sicker.

When you were little, your parents always came to your dance recitals. Your father would record everything and you would watch it again with them when they came home.

After your father died you’re mother stopped going to your shows; she told you every year that it would be different and that she would go but it never happened. She was too drugged up to care about her daughter.

The lights came up and you couldn’t see the crowd. Just black.

As you started dancing you felt more confident than ever, feeling the music as you went.

You closed your eyes and let your memory do the work for you as you moved around the stage.

You did three pirouettes and jumped into the air, catching yourself as you rolled to the floor. You could hear people clapping in the audience and you rolld onto your back, stretching out and then pulling into the fetal position as the song ended.

You got up quickly as the lights faded to black and ran off the stage. You couldn’t believe how amazing that was.

* * * * *

The show was over and you took a quick shower in the locker room before meeting Kai back stage.

“Everyone is waiting for us in the theatre.” He said, taking your costume bag and draping it over his arm with his own.

“I just have to call Chanyeol, I’ll meet you in there.” You smiled and took your phone out dialing Chanyeol’s number.

“Hey,”

“Hey Chan.” You said happily.

“How was the show?” He asked expectantly.

“It was amazing!” You exclaimed, “I know you’ll get to see it but I wish you could have watched it tonight.”

You made your way towards the theatre as you told Chanyeol all of the highlights of the show.

“I love you.” He said, “I just wanted to tell you that you looked beautiful tonight.”

“Beautiful?” You asked, “How would you-”

Then you saw him.

---

Thanks for reading guys! this chapter felt like it took forever and probably did cause i've been really busy.

 

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