In My Arms 1
From the Old and Torn PortfolioA/N: This was written after being reminded of a prompt I came up with; after a bottle of beer and a party. Done at 4am so forgive the strange writing... I was sober but sleepy at this point that I fell asleep after finishing the first part of the two-part ensemble.
Flower forget-me-nots between the stones
Paving this grave ground. Here's honest rot
To unpick the heart, pare bone
Free of the fictive vein. When one stark skeleton
Bulks real, all saints' tongues fall quiet:
Flies watch no resurrections in the sun.
November Graveyard by Slyvia Plath.
One of her favorite poems.
Reading had been a favored pastime on dull hours. Hours when she rode to her next destination – another tedious shoot or film location where she needed to pretend to be someone she wasn’t. Sullen eyes locked on the rain-stained window of the van, taking in the moving scenery outside. She shifted her attention back to the words on her phone’s screen after not finding the dreary and dull landscape worthwhile.
The tall, gray buildings have always made her gloomy and staring at them trapped her in a darker state of her mind. The poetry might have been as gray as the concrete structures looming over their moving vehicle, but she preferred its colorful words more than those actual colors. It distracted her from the now – where she felt like a being trapped in a box of expectations and constraints.
Right now, there came the longing for freedom – something she had never attained since her youth. The car stopped and she willed herself to reality, closing her phone and pocketing it into her coat as the door opened for her. Out she ambled into the welcoming shivers of the cold; winter greeted her with a misty exhale as soon as she took a few hasty steps.
“Soojung. Stop zoning out.” Her manager chided lightly, patting her tired back into straightening as she entered another concrete cage for another photo shoot. She gave him a tired nod and proceeded with the task, greeting the staff along the way with a half-hearted smile she had practiced for shows and a weary bow that came undetected by the busy crew.
She scampered into the dressing room and was immediately dragged into a chair where, once she was settled, the makeup artists began to work their magic of making her look the least bit alive. Such was her monotonous routine, a weary cycle which she had never chosen for herself. They said it was destiny and she thought it was stupid. She never got the morsel of a choice to define her own path, but that was the least of her worries given her current situation.
Her grueling work schedules never permitted for fleeting thoughts of a different life or a sense of freedom she sought for herself. But those colorful words stored in her phone’s memory reminded her of what life was meant to be, what should have beens, and what ifs. It spoke of adventure and challenges.
It reminded her of afternoons in San Francisco; frolicking in the sand and chasing the waves. It reminded her of silly childhood games in the playground near their house; of riding big rides that scared her out of her wits as a child. It reminded her of living like a princess whenever she visited Disneyland; where watching the fireworks lighting up the skies at night made her squeal in happiness. But best of all, it reminded her of those precious memories shared with her older sibling; being held and comforted whenever she was the least bit frightened. She was a scaredy cat as a child, after all…
She awakened from her reverie when the director called for her attention. A scolding followed for being dazed in a shoot. She apologi
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