Your POV:

Me: DongHae…

I pushed his arms away from me, breaking the awkward silence between us. I sighed and turned around to look at him.

Me: I can’t…. I can’t do this.

I shook my head and looked at him ruefully.

Me: I’m sorry… I can’t.

DongHae: Don’t. Don’t say that.

Me: DongHae… I just--- can’t. Not… Not right now.

DongHae: I’ll wait.

Me: No, DongHae…

He shook his head vigorously, like a stubborn child. He lowered his head and clenched his fists.

DongHae: NO. I don’t want to hear it. I won’t hear it. I’ll wait.

Slowly, he met my eyes.

DongHae: I’ll wait – that’s final.

And he left for his room, leaving me to stare out of the ocean again.

…

That night, I couldn’t sleep. I hated not being able to sleep. So I went out into the kitchen to get a drink to clear my head. There was only milk and water and at this time of the night, I didn’t want to drink cold milk, or tasteless water. None of them would help me clear my head. I dug into the cupboards and surprisingly found a carton of beer.

I frowned. DongHae didn’t drink. I wonder what the beer was doing in the cupboard.

Shrugging, I got a can of beer. I opened the canned drink and took a sip of it. I frowned as the alcohol burned my throat. My head was exhausted – can that even happen? I knew that bodies could feel exhausted, but I wasn’t sure how heads could. At least the burning sensation in my throat from the alcohol would temporarily send my thoughts of DongHae away.

And if you’re wondering if I was an alcoholic… I’m not.

Ever since I left for America, I took up drinking – NOT for pleasure or for fun, but for socializing (like KyuHyun) and for…Temporary pain loss.

I always drank at home whenever I needed to get my head away from big things, for example, living in a freaking house with DongHae!

I gulped down half the beer and panted. I leaned on the counter and gripped the can of beer in my hands. I shook my head to get the burning sensation away.

That DongHae… First he makes me feel guilty… Secondly, thoughts about him made me start drinking… Third…He’s such an idiot… Fourth----

???: What are you doing?

 I jumped and hit my knee on the lower cupboard. I looked over my shoulder and saw DongHae approaching me… Without a freaking freaking freaking (WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY ME?!)…Shirt…On…

Me: Nothing

I replied coldly. Damn, I guess I took in alcohol too quickly tonight. DongHae walked up behind me and snatched the can of beer from my hands.

DongHae: You drink now?

He stared at me.

DongHae: Since when?

I tried grabbing my can back from him but he held it away from my reach.

Me: Since always.

I tried grabbing it from him again but he took a step back.

Me: Now give it back.

DongHae: No.

Me: What’s it doing in your cupboard anyway? You don’t even drink.

DongHae: I was going to deliver it to the members so they could share it!

Me: Okay. Now give it back

I gestured to the can in his hand. DongHae shook his head.

DongHae: No.

He stated sternly.

Me: DongHae I’m serious.

DongHae: I’m serious too. Since when did you start drinking, ____?!

Me: Who. Cares. Now give it back!

DongHae: I do. And the answer is still ‘no’. I don’t want you drinking.

Me: And I don’t want you.

DongHae stiffened and just stared at me with his sad eyes. I suddenly felt a pang of guilt and regret once I said that. I guess alcohol really took over me.

DongHae: Do you really? I could always leave.

He said softly. I looked away.

DongHae: You can forget about the alcohol.

He tossed the can of beer into the bin. I was about to protest but… The can was already lying in the bin.

I bit the inside of my cheek and frowned at him. I pushed past him.

Me: I’m going.

DongHae grabbed my wrist and pulled me to a stop.

Me: Ever thought of wearing a shirt?

DongHae: Hey, I’m sleeping alone so I can wear whatever I want to, to sleep.

I tried pulling my wrist out of his grasp but DongHae wouldn’t let me.

DongHae: I just want you to stop.

Me: Stop? Stop what? Drinking?

DongHae: Stop being like this…

Me: I already told you, DongHae!

I pushed him away and shook my head.

Me: The locked room will always stay locked.

DongHae: I won’t count on it.

Me: Well, I will be counting on it.

I yawned. DongHae sighed.

DongHae: Go to sleep.

Me: Don’t tell me what to do…

DongHae: I guess the beer really got to your head…

He muttered.

Me: What?

DongHae: Nothing.

I turned away from him.

Me: You’re such an idiot, Hae.

DongHae: What?

I yawned again.  My vision started to drift.

Me: Such an idiot…

DongHae’s POV:

And she just fell backwards. But I caught her just in time. I cradled her in my arms so that her face was close to mine.

The smell of beer was pungent, even with closed!

Such an idiot. Calling others idiot when you’re one yourself.

I sighed and carried her to her room. I put her down on her bed and pushed her hair out of her face. If only she could just… Just accept me…Accept us.

What did I do wrong? How did our relationship start so quickly…And end just like that? What…What even happened?! We were doing fine. We were doing great. How is it that now, we were just…Apart?

I wish I could get her back. Just looking at her makes me go crazy. I feel like yelling at her to come back to me… Though I know that she would probably die of a heart attack if I did that.

Me: Just accept me already… I can take care of you…

_____: Dooonn…oooooo…

I jumped back in surprise.

Me: _____?

She shifted into another position and breathed out heavily. Was she sleep-talking?

_____: mmm…Doooonn…g…o….

Me: What the hell… You seriously like making me go crazy, don’t you?

I her hair and kissed her on her forehead.

Me: You should keep doing that then. I’m already crazy for you…  And…

I wish she would just accept us. I miss us…And it hurts so much, I feel like my feelings for her were eating me alive.

Me: And it’s a punishment for me… For making you like this…

I leaned closer to her and inhaled sharply. The tip of our noses briefly touched but it sent shivers down my spine. Damn, she still had that effect on me. I kissed her softly on the lips and wished she actually admitted that she missed it. But…She wouldn’t…She just wouldn’t admit it.

And I hated that.

I sighed and was about to go to my room when SooHae started wailing. I rushed to her room and carried her in my arms.

Must be a nightmare.

SooHae shook in my arms and her little tears dripping down my bare shoulders. I carried her and patted her back as I walked in circles in my daughter’s room. It wasn’t long once I put SooHae back to sleep. I strode back to _____’s room and she was still fast asleep. I shut the door and went straight to my room. I fell back onto my bed and put my leg up for a more comfortable position. I stared at the ceiling before my eyelids grew heavy. And I fell asleep, for once, without any thoughts circling in my head.

…

Your POV:

When morning arrived, I felt slightly dizzy. It must’ve been from the beer I drank last night… Ayssi… What even happened to me last night? <____< I can’t even remember… I got up and immediately walked into SooHae’s room. My little baby was still asleep (>v<). I went to the bathroom to wash up and saw that DongHae’s door was wide open. He was already up.

I quickly washed up and went out to make breakfast once I was done. DongHae was standing by the stove. He looked over his should and nodded in my direction.

DongHae: Morning

I gave him a slight bow.

Me: Morning.

I yawned.

Me: Whatcha making?

DongHae: Korean pancakes.

Me: What? In the morning?

DongHae jerked his chin to the digital clock on the wall. It read 11.45am.

Me: What?! It’s already 11.45?! But…But how is SooHae still asleep…?

DongHae: She woke up around 10… But she fell back to sleep.

Me: What?! But…I didn’t even hear her.

DongHae shrugged.

DongHae: Tough night last night?

I shrugged.

Me: I don’t know… I don’t really remember. Too tired I guess.

I grabbed a bowl of cereal and milk and poured the two ingredients in a bowl.

DongHae: Aren’t you going to eat brunch?

I shook my head.

Me: I’ll eat breakfast first. If I’m still hungry, I’ll eat lunch.

DongHae scoffed.

DongHae: Fatty…

I smacked him with the metal spoon I drew out of the drawer.

Me: Idiot!

DongHae stuck his tongue out and I giggled.

DongHae: Get me a plate?

I nodded and handed him a clean plate. DongHae flipped the pancake on the plate and put it on the table. I joined him on the table and got him a fork and knife so that he could eat his pancake.

DongHae: You want some?

I looked over at his pancake and studied it, before smelling it. It smelled…Crispy. O___o

Me: Mmm… Maybe later. After I finish eating my cereal.

DongHae: Alright.

We ate in silence. When I finished my cereal, I was about to get up to put the dirty bowl in the sink when DongHae held my wrist and pulled me back down.

Me: Mwoya---

DongHae cupped a hand under the fork he was holding. It had a piece of the pancake on it.

DongHae: Ahhh….

I blinked and stared at the piece of pancake on the fork. I reluctantly opened my mouth and DongHae fed me the pancake. It was really delicious.

Me: Mmm…Maa.

DongHae: Thanks. It’s kimchi, potato and beef – your favourite, yet weird combination.

I laughed nervously and blushed. He still remembers?!

Me: I…Didn’t really—Couldn’t really tell.

DongHae: Weirdo. Well at least tell me you could taste the kimchi.

Me: And the potato. It’s really…Delicious.

DongHae: Here, have another piece.

I opened my mouth and ate another piece of the delicious pancake DongHae made for me. Then, SooHae wailed. The both of us shot up from our chairs but I was the first one to dash into SooHae’s room, despite my wounded thigh. I guess my daughter will come before my injuries.

I carefully carried her in my arms.

Me: Ahhh you’re finally awake

SooHae: mmm…pupupu…

Me: Are you hungry? You slept for a loooong time today. You were tired, weren’t you?

SooHae: pupupupu…

I giggled and kissed my daughter on the head. She smelt so…Baby-like. Then, she shifted into an uncomfortable position while in my arms and I flinched and almost dropped her. I winced and DongHae quickly took SooHae from me. I clutched my left lower arm and checked my wound. It still stung from that glass incident.

DongHae: Are you alright?

I hissed but managed a nod.

DongHae: I’ll take her. You can go…Make breakfast for her. That wouldn’t put much pressure on your arm – or leg.

I was reluctant but DongHae shooed me out of the room before I could protest. I made SooHae’s breakfast and set it on the table. I got her baby seat and put it on the dining chair and called DongHae to bring her out.

DongHae: Brushing teeeeeth!

He shouted from the bathroom.

Me: Okayyyy!!!

I yelled back.

A few minutes later, SooHae came running out and she hugged me on my left leg. I winced as her head collided with my left thigh. I hissed.

Me: Y-Ya… SooHae-yah… Omma’s left leg hurts…

SooHae looked up and made an ‘o’ with . She put her hands in the air, indicating for me to carry her.

DongHae: Aniyo!

DongHae scooped SooHae up in his arms and he looked at me. He really looked like a father.

Maybe because he was one…

DongHae: Your wounds aren’t fully healed yet. Let me carry her.

Me: But---

DongHae: ______, I’m serious. You aren’t fully recovered yet.

I nodded reluctantly and DongHae set SooHae down in her seat. The both of us took turns to feed her and once she was done with her breakfast (and so-called brunch), DongHae took out SooHae’s box of toys and played with her while I stacked the dishes in the dishwasher.

Then, I grabbed my phone from my room and headed to the playing duo and took some pictures of SooHae playing…With DongHae slightly cut out of the picture.

I put my phone on the coffee table and joined the duo.

SooHae: Ommma, here!

SooHae gave me a heart block. She crawled to DongHae and gave him a star block.

SooHae: Appa… A star, here!

Me: What’s this for SooHae?

SooHae blinked and looked at me, pointing to the heart block in my hand.

SooHae: Omma and appa are together. Because… mm…I don’t know. Star is for appa. Heart is for omma. Because appa is a star – appa sings a lot.

She laughed and DongHae smiled. He patted his lap and SooHae stood up and sat on his lap. They looked at one another and smiled.

DongHae: You really like omma and appa to be together?

SooHae: Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

DongHae: Really, really?

SooHae: Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

And just when DongHae opened his mouth, SooHae exclaimed…

SooHae: Forrrrreverrrrrrr!

She laughed and hugged DongHae. I stiffened and my eyes slowly met DongHae’s. Forever…?

Forever…It was long gone…When I left.

I swallowed hard. I got up from my seat.

Me: I’ll go make lunch.

DongHae only nodded but SooHae exclaimed “Neeeeee”.

When the rice was cooked, I was busy finishing the vegetables and meat off. SooHae was playing in her room and I heard DongHae come out of that room. He was behind me in an instant.

He slowly wrapped his arms around me and put his chin on my shoulder.

Me: Mwoya…

I tried struggling to get his arms away from me but both my hands were occupied – one was holding the spatula, the other was holding the handle of the frying pan.

DongHae: She wants us to be together.

He whispered.

Me: That doesn’t mean anything.

DongHae: You wouldn’t want to make our daughter happy?

Me: She’s my daughter, FYI.

DongHae: That’s only because I only just got the opportunity to spend time with her and be a father to her.

I turned off the flame and set the spatula down. I held onto his hands and unwrapped his arms from my waist. When I finally managed to get his arms off me, he held onto my hands behind my back.

Me: DongHae, please don’t do this.

DongHae: Do what?

Me: Just…This. Don’t do this.

DongHae: Can’t we just be together for the sake of SooHae?

Me: This is the furthest I will go.

DongHae: Why?

Me: DongHae, let’s not have this conversation, alright? I don’t want to start arguing with you.

DongHae: Why don’t you want to argue?

Me: I just don’t want to, alright? I…I hate it when we argue, alright? Simple as that.

I squeezed my hand out of DongHae’s.

Me: That night…It was all a mistake.

DongHae: Don’t say that. I don’t want to hear it.

Me: You know it was, Hae, I don’t have to tell you.

DongHae: Stop it. Don’t say that. I told you I don’t want to hear it.

I spun around and looked him straight in the eyes.

Me: I don’t want to hear you either. So let’s make a deal. I stop reminding you about that night, you stop requesting for us to be…Together.

DongHae stiffened and his jaw tightened.

DongHae: I will never make that deal.

He stormed off into SooHae’s room. I put my fingers to my forehead. I’m only in my twenties and yet I feel like I’m forty. I sighed and put the food into bowls and plates and covered them with a plastic cover so that any bugs wouldn’t get to it.

I grabbed my phone and dialled in EunHyuk’s number. He was the only person DongHae would really listen to. He was the only person that could really change DongHae’s mind.

So I went to the back of the kitchen and talked to EunHyuk.

…

EunHyuk: I already tried telling him to move on, ____. But he just can’t!

I sighed for the fifth time.

Me: I’m going crazy.

EunHyuk: Trust me, I was too. Besides, _____...

Me: What?

EunHyuk: I know you still love him.

I froze. Love?

Me: No, I don’t. I just…I just want him to find someone else, oppa.

EunHyuk: And what? Risk you getting a heart break?

I grumbled.

Me: I won’t be getting a heart break, oppa.

I said, but I felt panicky.

EunHyuk: Don’t lie to yourself. You’re just cold to him cause you don’t want to accept him in.

Me: You know, maybe I should’ve called (my) unnie instead.

EunHyuk: <____< But you’re the one who called for my help.

Me: I just need you to try convincing him.

EunHyuk: I told you, I already did that. For 2 years, every single day. I’ve been eating more for those 2 years because I wasted all my energy on convincing him.

I couldn’t help but laugh. My cousin really had a way of lifting a mood.

EunHyuk: Just wait, alright? Only time will tell…

Me: That’s what unnie said when I was in the US..

EunHyuk: And she was right.

Me: >____> I didn’t ask for your opinion!

EunHyuk: Blahblahblahblahblah.

I laughed.

Me: Alright oppa, I’ll talk to you soon.

EunHyuk: I’m serious. You only call me about DongHae-related things. You don’t call me for lunch or family gatherings anymore. I mean, seriously? Hmph, I’m disappointed and insulted.

Me: Hahhaha, fine fine, next time I call you, it’ll be for lunch.

EunHyuk: Korean barbeque?

Me: ._____. Fine, fine, it’ll be for Korean barbeque.

EunHyuk: Yes! And I’ll tag Sora and you can ask noona (____’s unnie) to come along too.

Me: Of course I’ll ask her to tag along!

EunHyuk: I thought you might’ve forgotten about her.

Me: <_< meanie.

EunHyuk: You’re the mean one here! I have to ask you to ask me out for lunch!

I burst out laughing and nodded.

Me: Arraseo, Arraseo, I’ll talk to you soon oppa, anneyong.

EunHyuk: Mmm… Neeee, Anneyeong pigface. <_____<

Me: Meathead >___>

And we hung up. I walked back into the kitchen and found DongHae by the stove.

DongHae: Who was that…?

I froze and stared at him. He looked at me gravely and approached me.

Me: No one you know.

I lied.

DongHae: You said you didn’t have a boyfriend.

Me: I don’t.

I said. And I quickly added a couple more words.

Me: But I’m occupied at the moment.

DongHae: I know.

Me: Hungry?

DongHae: Yes…

He looked so upset. I suddenly felt guilty for shooting sharp comments at him. I sighed.

Me: DongHae…

DongHae: Mmm…?

Me: Look, I’m sorry about before… But you have to understand that we can’t---

DongHae: Hey, just forget it, alright?

Me: I’m sorry.

DongHae: Just---

He sighed.

DongHae: We really can’t be together?

I shook my head.

Me: DongHae… The thing about ‘forever’ is just that…

I looked at him ruefully.

Me: Sometimes, it just…Doesn’t come true, no matter how much we want it to.

He just stared at me with a pair of glossy eyes. 

___________

(A/N) Hey guys! It's been awhile but it's because the other author-sshi didn't want me to update < since she was on an at least 2 week holiday. So tada! Here's the update! :DDD HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHO KYUHYUN! <3 You have grown so much~ xD