Your POV:

I sat on my bed and put my hands to my face. How was I going to leave KyuHyun and DongHae and everyone else?

I looked at the photo book that lay lifelessly on my desk.

Mir had left my luggage at the side of the door. I got up from the bed and slid the photo book off my desk. I flipped through the pages and looked at the captions and laminated photographs that had been slipped into the transparent holder. My heart broke as I saw my all-time favourite photograph of me and KyuHyun.

It was two years ago, before I met DongHae (if you count watching him around EunHyuk all the time. He just stands out that much). We were teasing one another in the mini-mart by our school. I had a bottle of iced peach tea in one hand while he had a box of Pepero in his. While our free hands slapped one another, our full hands were use as defence.

____: YAH! Cho KyuHyun!

KyuHyun: What?! You were the one who started it!

____: Oh, really? Well who sprayed water all over my uniform just then?

KyuHyun: Uhh

Just on time, EunHyuk walked into the mart.

KyuHyun pointed a finger in my cousin’s direction and accused him.

KyuHyun: It was EunHyuk!

EunHyuk looked at us quizzically and raised an eyebrow at KyuHyun, who kept his finger pointed at him.

EunHyuk: Mwoya?

KyuHyun and I exchanged looks and began throwing complaints at EunHyuk, who seemed to be trying hard to listen to us.

After the little childish fight, EunHyuk took a picture of us – without me knowing – and sent it to KyuHyun and I via Bluetooth. I smacked the both of them for taking an unglamorous picture of me. But, hey, a picture says a thousand words – but it was only that picture that said a million.

I closed my eyes and slowly returned to the world of reality and confusion. I imagined DongHae’s arms around me. I played KyuHyun’s laugh in my head and cringed at the fond memories I found hard to let go. I thought about my cousin, EunHyuk, who was always there for me – which was weird since he was a guy.

It was hard to leave everything I hoped for behind.

…………….

I lay in my bed as I flipped through the photo book. I heard footsteps enter the room. I turned around to find Mir with a bottle of beer in his hand. I frowned at him and got up to snatch it out of his hand and was about to throw it in the bin when unexpectedly, he swung his fist across my back, causing me to yelp in pain and spill the access beer across the floor.

Mir: Give me my beer back!

I lay frozen on the ground and tried getting up when Mir’s hand contacted with my back twice more.

Mir: You spilled it!

I groaned and knew that there were going to be bruises by tonight. Mir grabbed his bottle of beer, stuck his tongue out at me and groggily strolled out of the room. My cheek hurt from colliding with the ground – but my back hurt even more. When Mir’s fist collided with my back, I swear I heard a soft crack.

Slowly, while groaning, I pushed myself on my back and lay flat on the ground, my hair partially soaked in beer.

I needed to escape somehow.

This Mir…

This Mir wasn’t the one I loved when I first met him.

Something had changed him.

KyuHyun’s POV:

My phone was ringing continuously. I groaned as I remained sprawled on the couch. I babbled gibberish into the comfortable seats before getting up and sitting with my legs taking up the whole couch. I grabbed my phone off the coffee table and answered it.

Me: Yeoboseyo?

I answered lazily.

___: Kyuhyunnie

I shot up from the couch and walked over to the balcony.

Me: __---____?

___: Yeah, it’s me…

Me: Oh, er what’s up?

___: Are you free this evening?

I thought about my schedule for the tonight. I shrugged after I could not think of any plans I had.

Me: Yeah, I’m free, waeyo?

____: I thought maybe we could hang out for a while. We haven’t got to spend as much time together as we did before nowadays.

I lowered my shoulders and sighed.

But of course, I gave in to her – as usual.

Me: -nods- Alright, where will I meet you?

___: At the bakery along the street near our school. You know the one that has the---

Me: --Yes, I know which bakery it is.

I interrupted, feeling slightly guilty I did. I felt lighter after I had accepted her invite. I felt happy that I was chosen but I couldn’t erase the fact that she slept with DongHae and she has to sleep under the same roof as Mir – my distant cousin.

____: I’ll erm, see you there then?

I nodded even though she couldn’t see me.

Me: Yeah, see you there.

____: Ne…  Anneyeong oppa

I inhaled sharply as the word ‘oppa’ sent shivers down my spine. I stood still as the cool morning breeze gently pushed my hair away from my forehead.

Me: Anneyeong

And I hung up.

I spun around and screeched when I saw a figure in front of me.

DongHae: Tell me that wasn’t __________.

I shook my head but my mouth and words failed me.

Me: You can’t stop me from going.

I slipped past DongHae gallingly but his hand pulled my arm back, making me jerk backwards.

DongHae: KyuHyun, please.

Me: Hyung, why can’t I just see my best friend?

DongHae: Because she’s--- she’s never mind. Just--- Please.

Frustration built up in me as I cried out to him.

Me: Hyung, why is it that you can sleep with her and I can’t even--- just even take a look at her?!

I swung my arm free of DongHae’s grasp and scurried to my room. I slammed the door and leaned against it as I slid down to the carpeted floor. I hugged my knees close to my chest as my cheeks started to heat up and my eyes started piling tears.

I was childishly frustrated with myself, DongHae and – probably – everyone.

Why was it so hard to give ____ away? If only I imagined her as a gift – or a present – and give her away freely with my love wrapped neatly and decoratively inside the box, I would feel better. I would be able to breathe and laugh like no tomorrow.

“If”.

If only I didn’t----

What’s the point in trying to list the “ifs” when everything has happened?

……………………

Two hours passed quickly since the hyungs and I had a little get-together-time by the park. We bought hot dogs, smoothies, and ice-cream and finger food. It was delicious! My day was going well – unexpectedly well. Apparently, LeeTeuk and KangIn planned the little get-together because I seemed depressed these few days.

I had already rejected their offer to go to the smoothie shop along the beach. LeeTeuk seemed to try too hard to make everything seem fine so accepting his second offer to get finger food, smoothies and ice-cream at the stall across the street was thanking him for trying.

I slurped my smoothie and leaned back against the cool metal chair of the stall. My hyungs and I took up four of the five tables that sat in front of the store. I shared a table with RyeoWook, ShinDong, YeSung and SungMin. In the middle of the table sat an ice-cream sundae that had chocolate sauce dribbling down the top of the ice-cream to the bottom of the wide-rimmed cup. Strawberries and cherries were also added to the sundae, attracting the three pigs’ attention more than ever.

ShinDong had stopped eating after his third scoop but SungMin and RyeoWook kept digging into the ice-cream - from a masterpiece, to an aftermath of a cyclone.

I bit and played with my straw that was still in my mouth and dazed across the street, where our dorm was. Then, I spotted someone familiar. I squinted and saw Mir with his hands in his pockets, walking swiftly.

It was as though he was trying to walk away from someone…

Then my eyes trailed to the people in front of him and the people behind him. A girl with chest-length hair was pushing through the crowd, calling out Mir’s name. Mir didn’t turn to acknowledge her. The girl tried to keep up with him but the crowd surrounding her did not move out of her way. I saw a chain flying back and forth; she tried to keep it from smacking her face with her hand.

I suddenly shot up from my seat when I realized who it was. I pushed past RyeoWook, who had his ice-cream spoon stuck in his mouth. ShinDong stood up and yelled my name, trying to figure out my sudden movements.

I illegally dashed across the street and saw _____ chasing Mir down the street, calling him with as much energy she could use.

____: Mir!

Mir halted in the middle of the street and looked over his shoulder. ____ grabbed him by his arm and got him to look at her.

I stealthily walked towards them, slightly tip-toeing to see beyond the crowd in front of me. Once I got close enough, I eavesdropped on their conversation.

___: You can’t do this Mir – please.

Mir shrugged her off and continued walking. I continued following.

Mir: I can do whatever I want!

He yelled, catching passer-byes’ attention. Looking embarrassed, Mir pulled _____ into a corner. I was about to dash after them when a hand held my left shoulder. I looked past my shoulder and saw SungMin looking at me quizzically.

Me: ____’s with him.

SungMin made an ‘o’ with his mouth and nodded, shooing me off. I gave him a thankful nod before dashing through the sea of people.

I ran around the corner and past an alley, saw two people and continued running forward----

I retraced my steps and stopped right at the entrance of the alley. I squinted to focus on the two people standing in the alley. It was Mir and ____.

Mir: You want to make a scene out there?! I can do whatever I want!

____ punched him in the shoulder, jerking his shoulder back against the brick wall that enclosed the alley.

____: Stop drinking, Mir, or I won’t go to the US with you!

Without thinking, I stepped into the alley and stared in disbelief – what did I just hear?

Me: You’re going back to America?!

____ and Mir turned their heads. ____’s face was full of horror whereas Mir’s was confused and wary.

Mir & _____: KyuHyun?

I grabbed ____ by the wrist and lifted her hand upwards. Fury and hope burned in my eyes.

Me: You’re going back? Don’t go.

Mir pushed me away from ____ and put his arms around _____.

Mir: It’s her choice to make.

____: No, no, you got it wrong. I’m not going back. We’re going on a holiday.

Me: Why do you need to go on a holiday with him?!

Mir: Ya, Cho----

But ____ elbowed him in the side. Mir yelped in surprise and a satisfied smirk danced across my face. My distant cousin glared at me but I chose to ignore it.

____: I’ll talk to you later, KyuHyun oppa.

Mir: Yeah, KyuHyun.

I glared at Mir before softening my death glare into a look of concern and hope, hoping she wouldn’t go with him - holiday or not.

 

Your POV:

That evening…. Around 7pm.

I walked along the street with KyuHyun. The street was filled with people – families and couples – eating and chatting. The street was lit up by the tall street lamps and the neon, illuminating lights of the hawker stalls and boutiques along the busy, bustling street – at night.

KyuHyun and I sat down to have some ddobbokki together. We ordered iced-tea and shared the delicious rice cakes together. I chewed on the ddobbokki when KyuHyun gently placed his hand on top of mine. I cautiously met his eyes. 

KyuHyun: Please don’t go. Promise me you wouldn’t go.

Why was it not surprising?

I knew better than to stutter.

Me: I won’t.

I slipped my hand out from his and continued eating the ddobbokki. I could still feel his gaze on me. I inclined my head. My heart thumped louder once my hypothesis was right – he was still looking at me.

Me: You don’t believe me.

KyuHyun ruffled his hair.

KyuHyun: Of course I don’t believe you!

Me: Trust me, oppa.

KyuHyun: How can I believe you when you are going on a ‘holiday’ with Mir – to the US?!

Me: Mir’s parents are ill, KyuHyun… And Mir needs me there to help him. Besides, I haven’t seen his parents in a while.

I lied, sounding so sure. I pointed my chopsticks from KyuHyun to the long curved bowl of ddobbokki sitting prettily – and deliciously – on the table.

Me: Eat. It’s really good.

KyuHyun: You sure you aren’t going?

Me: Oh my gosh, oppa, I already told you I’m not. Why do you keep asking me? Do you want me to go instead??

Taken aback, KyuHyun quickly replied with a fixed “no!”.

Me: Then, eat!

KyuHyun: Okay, okay, I’m eating.

He picked up his chopsticks with two fingers and began eating the ddobbokki with me. We finished the bowl of ddobbokki swiftly and cleanly. We slurped on our iced teas before leaving the hawker stall. We walked side by side on the pavement, brushing past other pedestrians to prevent taking up the entire space on the pavement.

We soon found a bench next to a street lamp. KyuHyun and I sat beside one another, with deadly silence hanging in the air.

His hand brushed mine as he plopped it beside him. I flinched at the closeness we were at and thought about Mir – and DongHae.

What was I going to do?

Then, I felt KyuHyun’s hand shifting against mine and the wooden bench. Soon, his fingers were intertwined with mine, and his palm glued against mine.

I blinked and stared at him.

KyuHyun: Come to the dorm for the night?

Me: Wha—No, I can’t.

KyuHyun: Please?

Me: No, oppa, Ayssi, why?

KyuHyun: Because… Because I… Because I want you – is that so hard to ask?

Me: I’ll think about it.

KyuHyun leaned closer to me, his eyes never leaving mine.

Me: KyuHyun oppa, please don’t.

KyuHyun averted his gaze. By his expression, I could feel his emotions – literally.

Me: Oppa, I’m sorry, I just----

KyuHyun leaned back and closed his eyes, his face slightly tilted skyward.

KyuHyun: And it’s okay to sleep with DongHae?

He whimpered.

My cheeks flushed a bright red.

Me: What—Oppa.

KyuHyun lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it.

KyuHyun: Is this the furthest I’m going?

Me: N—Y--- I…

KyuHyun opened his eyes. The street lamp reflected his eyes, revealing tears that would never fall.

Me: Oppa, I.. I might stay for the night.

KyuHyun stared at me as though I spoke Alien.

KyuHyun: R-Really?

He asked, his eyes hoping I wasn’t denying his offer. I gave him a small assuring smile and nodded. Through his eyes, he beamed with happiness and relief.

Unexpectedly, KyuHyun let my hand go and hugged me tightly against him.

KyuHyun: Thank you.

He whispered into my hair. I one-arm-hugged him and patted his back.

Me: Let’s go then.

KyuHyun: Alright

We got up from the bench and took a 20 minute walk to the dorm. KyuHyun unlocked the door and kicked off his shoes.

KyuHyun: They aren’t home – that’s why I asked you to come over.

I nodded blankly. After I kicked mine off, he hung the pair of shoes on his index and middle finger.

Me: Where are you taking them?

KyuHyun: To my room.

I wanted to ask why but KyuHyun was already pacing towards his room. He pushed the door open and put my shoes beside the door, after laying a plastic bag beneath my shoes.

Me: I don’t have any clothes though…

KyuHyun: Just borrow mine.

Me: N-No, it’s alright. KyuHyun… Do you mind if we go back to Mir’’s house and grab some clothes? It’ll be more convenient.

I could see the slight disappointment in his face but he nodded anyway. We headed back out to the front door and slipped our feet into our shoes and headed to where KyuHyun’s car was parked. We hopped into the car before driving off to Mir’s house.

Me: I’ll go in by myself.

KyuHyun: I heard he’s drinking too much.

Me: I’ll go in by myself.

I repeated.

The car came to a halt. I glanced outside before stepping out of the car and slamming the door shut. It was only a few steps before I heard another car door slam. I spun around to see KyuHyun jogging after me. When he skidded to a stop next to me, I frowned.

Me: I told you---

KyuHyun: Didn’t you know I’m stubborn?

He had a ghost of a smile on. I nodded and continued to walk up to the front door of Mir’s – and my – house.

Me: You better keep out of sight or else Mir might do something reckless.

KyuHyun understood and hid around the corner of the house. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door three times, and as loudly as I could.

No answer.

I knocked again, increasing the number of knocks every time. After the tenth or eleventh knock, the door creaked open. Mir stood behind the door, looking drunk – as usual, for the past few days and weeks.

Mir: _____-ahhhh!!!

He said, in a groggy, drunken yet enthusiastic voice. Mir wobbled and fell to his right. I gasped and caught him as he banged his head against the door.

Me: You’re drinking too much.

Mir: I can do whatever I want, sweetie. Nooo-owwwwwww-ah, let’s get a drink, shall we?

Me: Let’s bring you inside.

I heard KyuHyun’s footsteps approaching. With a swift palm out in his direction, he stopped. I half-carried, half-dragged Mir onto the couch, where he put his arms around my waist and hauled me down on his lap.

Me: Let go, Mir.

Mir: Why should I? You’re-- you are mine.

I struggled to escape his grasp.

Mir rested his head on my back.

Mir: Where are you going?

Me: I’m going over to my cousin’s house to pass him something.

Mir: Him?!

His tight tightened around my waist, cutting off some of my oxygen.

Me: M—Mir, Mi---Mir.

Mir pushed me down on the couch and caged me with his body as the ceiling and his arms as the steel poles. I tried to fight the urge to call for KyuHyun – but I knew better than to do that. I tried pushing Mir off but he held my arms beside me with his legs.

He leaned down and I cringed in disgust. The alcohol from his breath was unbearable.

Me: How many did you drink this time?!

Mir: Only a few.

Me: A few?!

Using all my strength, I managed to push Mir off of me. I hastily stood up and raced to the safety of my room – but Mir caught up with me. His hand slipped under the back of my shirt as he hauled me backwards and into him. I yelped and thrashed against him.

Me: Let me go, Mir!

Mir: Why should I? Huh, huh, huh?

His lips found my neck. His fingers caressed my stomach, rib cage and back as shivers ran down my spine.

Me: Let me go!

I screamed, thrashing against him again. Mir forcefully spun me around and attempted to pull my shirt over my head. I screamed at the top of my voice and heard running footsteps approaching. Could it be KyuHyun?

I felt Mir being pulled away from me.

KyuHyun: Idiot.

And he swung his fist into Mir’s chest, sending him flying back against the wall.

Me: Oppa!

I smacked KyuHyun on the arm once I saw Mir sitting lifelessly on the floor, his bottle of beer shattered from his fall.

Me: KyuHyun, c-can you bring him to his room? I’ll clean this up.

KyuHyun: It’s alright, I’ll clean it and you can bring him --- Oh right, you don’t have the strength. Stay here. Don’t touch it and I’ll be quick.

KyuHyun carefully hauled Mir up and carried him to his room.

I quickly cleared the broken glass with the help of a bin and broom. I picked up the bigger pieces of glass first and chucked them into the bin before clearing the little almost-invisible shards of glass. I swept most of the glass shards up when I accidentally brushed my hand against a medium-sized glass piece, which had flew further than the other glass shards. Blood started seeping through the light cut. I stood up and held my hand when another hand held it for me.

I linked the hand to the arm, to the face of the person that held my injured hand so gently.

KyuHyun.

Me: I’m fine, it’s just a small cut – it’ll heal.

KyuHyun: Yeah, but the blood – it won’t stop. Where do you keep your first aid kit? Can you go and get it?

I nodded.

KyuHyun: In the meantime, I’ll clear this for you.

I headed out to the kitchen and opened the top cabinet, which held the first aid kit. I closed the cabinet and put the kit on the dining table and ped it. Despite the small wound, surrounding air made it sting.

I heard glass shards being emptied into the bin. Before I knew it, KyuHyun emerged from the corridor and gave me a smile, ensuring me that the glass had been cleared and that the walkway was ‘glass-free’.

I pulled out a dining chair and KyuHyun did the same. We sat down in unison.

KyuHyun: Okay, now, let’s see that first… We need to apply pressure. Where’s the--- Ah, tissue.

He took some tissue from the tissue box on the dining table and dabbed the blood away. Before extra blood could fill the wound, he applied pressure on the wound.

I jumped at the sudden sting and yelped in pain. KyuHyun looked at me with a pitiful look. All I did was smile back and endured the pain. I leaned against the dining chair and let KyuHyun mend my injured hand. After applying pressure, he dabbed some more blood from the wound. He took a waterproof beige-coloured band aid, peeled off the plastic parts and carefully pasted it across the cut. He the band aid after putting it on the cut. I found that affectionate and weird.

I smiled at him and thanked him for it.

Me: KyuHyun oppa… About going over tonight… I don’t think I’ll be able to – I can’t leave Mir alone, especially when he’s this drunk.

Disappointment flooded KyuHyun’s face as he nodded.

KyuHyun: Oh

Me: I’m sorry…

KyuHyun: Then I’ll stay.

Me: Wait, what?

KyuHyun: I’m not going to let you get !

I blushed in an instant at the last word.

Me: He wouldn’t even do that!

KyuHyun: He might!

I shook my head.

Me: I can’t let you get physically hurt. When Mir wakes up the next morning and finds you here, I don’t know how to protect you.

KyuHyun my cheek with the back of his fingers.

KyuHyun: You don’t have to.

I swallowed hard before standing up and putting the first aid kit to its original place in the top cabinet in the kitchen.

Me: Well, we better get you a mattress.

KyuHyun: N-No it’s okay.

Me: How are you going to sleep then?

KyuHyun: I can… I can sleep with you…

He stared at the ground as his ears turned tomato-red.

Me: KyuHyun… Even though I somewhat slept with Dong--- him, doesn’t mean I would do it ever again.

KyuHyun: Oh

Me: I’m sorry…

KyuHyun shook his head and told me to tell him where the spare mattress was. I replied that it was in my room against the wall. He nodded and we headed into my room for the night. He put the mattress right next to my bed and stole a pillow from my bed. He fluffed the pillow and shifted his on the mattress, as if his ’s sense of touch was accurate.

I sat on the mattress with him. He cuddled closer to me and played with my injured hand. My window was wide open. The door was closed and the lights were switched off. The moon’s glow was bright enough to light up the entire room. I could see the faint glow of the moon against KyuHyun’s sharp angled face. I stared out the window. The sky was clear and the moon was full.

It was a beautiful night.

Beautiful was probably an underestimate for a calming night like this.

Involuntarily, I rested my head against KyuHyun’s shoulder. I felt KyuHyun lean closer and closer. Soon, his face was in my view. I knew his next move. I wanted to avoid it but…

His lips met mine. His kisses were gentle, sweet and longing, unlike Mir’s forceful drunk ones and DongHae’s enticing ones.

KyuHyun’s hands managed to slip under the back of my shirt. Alarmed and afraid that he might notice the bruises if he ever got the chance to remove my shirt, I held his wrist – but he brushed my grip off. I started to panic when his fingers played with my bare skin.

Accidentally, his thumb pressed hard against my back. I yelped in pain and our kiss broke.

KyuHyun: Don’t tell me there’s glass on your back.

Me: No, no. It just aches that’s all.

KyuHyun: Liar – show me then.

I just stared at him. He crossed his arms and waited for me to obey his commands. Hesitantly, I faced the door and lifted my shirt up halfway, barely revealing any skin. Impatient, KyuHyun lifted my shirt, revealing my bruises and bra strap.

KyuHyun: Who did this to you?!

Me: What?

Instantly, I pulled my shirt back down but KyuHyun pulled it back up.

KyuHyun: Don’t tell me that drunken bastard did it.

Me: KyuHyun…

I said, warning him about his use of language.

KyuHyun: He did it, didn’t he?

Me: It’s nothing.

KyuHyun: Nothing?!

He scoffed.

KyuHyun: You lie too often – too much, actually. When will you start telling the truth? Oh gosh, these--- These bruises. My gosh.

Me: Just let it go, KyuHyun.

KyuHyun: Let it go—Let it go?! How can I let this go?! Are you nuts? Living with this drunk bas---

Me: KyuHyun!

KyuHyun: ----guy is unexplainable!

Me: He’s upset KyuHyun, don’t blame him.

KyuHyun: But he has no right to touch you.

Me: But you touch me

I blushed instantly as my words came out wrongly.

KyuHyun: I meant that he has no right to hit you.

Me: He’s upset KyuHyun… You’d react the same way if you were in his place.

KyuHyun: No, I wouldn’t “react the same way” because I love you too much to even hurt you.

I stared at him. I could feel the intensity in his eyes leering into mine.

Me: KyuHyun---

I wanted to tell him that he couldn’t say that. But I asked myself, “Why couldn’t he?” I patted his shoulder and pushed myself up on the bed.

Me: You should sleep on the bed. I’ll sleep on the mattress.

KyuHyun shook his head aggressively.

KyuHyun: You know I won’t give in.

He gazed at his bare feet playing with the end of the mattress.

KyuHyun: Besides, you need a comfortable bed for your back.

He fluffed the pillow I threw at him and settled down on the mattress. I grabbed the thick quilt and lay it over his body before bidding him ‘goodnight’.

KyuHyun: Don’t you need one?

He asked, indicating the quilt that I lay on top of him.

Me: I have one.

I hopped off the bed and searched my wardrobe for the spare blanket I kept hidden under piles of clothes. When I finally found the thinner wool blanket I had used as a kid, I darted back to the bed----

I squealed when a pair of arms pulled me down to the ground. I kicked my feet in the air and struggled to loosen the grip around my waist.

Me: Let go off me!!!

Right after I said that, a hand covered my mouth, causing me to calm down a little but my heart was still pounding against my chest.

KyuHyun: Calm down and stop trying to wake him up.

I did calm down after that – even my heart did the same. I spun around and shrieked at how close KyuHyun’s face was with mine. My cheeks burned as I stuttered for the right words.

Me: Er, er I… I… Goodnight.

I sat in a squatting position and tried getting up but KyuHyun’s caging arms prevented me too.

Me: KyuHyun, please…

KyuHyun: Can’t we just stay like that?

He said, breathing against the back of my neck. Goosebumps rose as I felt his nose brush against my neck.

Me: I’m s-sorry KyuHyun…

He sighed and pushed me up on the bed; I still clutched the blanket.

KyuHyun: Wait, ____

I faced him to ask him what he wanted and somehow, his lips met mine for a spilt second.

KyuHyun: Goodnight

He cocooned himself with the quilt and shut his eyes tight. I touched my lips with my middle and index fingers and blinked, trying to wonder why he did that.

I pulled the blanket above my shoulders and closed my eyes, the image of Mir and I leaving Korea haunted me.

If I leave now, what will happen next?

The next morning….

The sudden bang outside my bedroom woke me up. I rubbed my eyes and noticed that KyuHyun wasn’t lying on the mattress.

KyuHyun: Ya, you don’t have to be so worked up!

I heard KyuHyun’s voice coming from the living room. With swift steps, I dashed out of the room and into the living room – or should I say war zone?

The couch’s cushions were splayed across the carpeted floor. A dining chair sat in the middle of the living room. Pots and pans added to the mess on the floor.

Me: WHAT THE HELL?!

I exclaimed, getting Mir’s and KyuHyun’s attention. They stared at me in surprise. Tears stung my eyes as I scolded the both of them.

Me: ARE YOU TRYING TO GET YOURSELVES KILLED?!

I glared at Mir.

Me: Mir, are you sober enough to fight now?!

I glared at KyuHyun.

Me: Was he drunk enough for you to punch him?!

KyuHyun straightened his back and nodded.

KyuHyun: I’ll be outside.

After slipping on his shoes, KyuHyun slammed the door behind him. Furious, Mir stomped past me and into my bedroom. Curious about what he was going to do, I followed him. Mir started thrashing my room. He messed up the bed and pushed my table lamp off the table. I shrieked. I felt relieved that my table lamp was made out of strong plastic and steel.

But what caught my attention was when Mir held a familiar book up high and aimed it for the bin.

Me: NO!

I cried, pouncing on him. We fell onto the mattress KyuHyun slept on and clawed at one another.

Me: MIR, DON’T!

Mir: You love him so much and can even spend the night with him at our house?!

Me: Clearly, it’s my house---

Mir: YEAH BUT STILL!

Me: Mir, just give it back!!!

I tried snatching the photo book away from his grasp, but failed. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks as I begged him not to ripped or tear it apart since it was my only memory with KyuHyun once I leave Korea for who knows how long. Then,

KyuHyun: What the hell are you trying to do?!

I spun around and saw KyuHyun frowning at the both of us. It was then when I noticed our awkward position. My leg was intertwined with Mir’s and our bodies were pressed together. I rolled off him and blushed – while crying.

Me: Give it back!!!!

Mir started reading from it and started tearing the first page out.

KyuHyun: What the----

KyuHyun pushed him down and pinned him to the floor with his hands and legs.

KyuHyun: Quickly take it.

Hastily, I snatched the photo book out of Mir’s hands. I placed a hand on KyuHyun’s shoulder.

Me: Let him go KyuHyun

KyuHyun hesitated before freeing Mir. Mir dusted his clothes and grabbed me by the wrist. I waved my palm at KyuHyun, indicating that he would not do anything and that he should wait for me.

Mir pulled me into the living room and whispered in my ear.

Mir: It’s either him or me.

Me: Please don’t make me choose…

Mir: Then I’m leaving. You won’t see or even hear from me ever again.

I couldn’t bear to lose Mir, even though he could be hard at times. I knew I would never lose KyuHyun. I knew that I might lose Mir.

So I nodded.

Me: You.

Mir gave me a thoughtful smile and hugged me.

Mir: Thank you

My eyes started to water. What did I just agree to? Mir broke the hug and put his firm hands on my shoulders, his eyes locked on mine. He whispered again.

Mir: We should leave ASAP (as soon as possible).

Me: W-What, why?

Mir: School is starting, don’t you---?

Me:----Oh, right, I remember now.

I thought twice about leaving as soon as possible. All my arrows and signs pointed to the “ASAP” direction. Firstly, leaving behind painful memories was the best choice.

Ayssi.

Every time the word ‘memories’ or ‘memory’ came up, I always thought of DongHae and KyuHyun – my two boys.

I gave Mir a smile and nodded.

Me: We should leave ASAP.

...

Me: But Mir---

I called out to him. He stopped two steps in front of me and looked back over his shoulder.

Mir: Yeah?

Me: Tell no one and I'll follow you.

He spun around and gave me an assuring smile.