DongHae’s POV:

I blinked. The members pushed me to the couch and I fell back – hard – onto the seat.

HeeChul: Now…Talk.

I sighed and HeeChul pinched my nose. I scrunched it up and shook my head.

RyeoWook: Well?

I gulped and saw the amount of glares I was getting shot at.

Me: Okay, okay.

 And I told them everything.

…

KangIn: Wow.

He slumped down on the seat beside ShinDong who could not stop staring at me.

Me: Yeah, and I’m going to be a good father to my daughter and---

RyeoWook: So does that mean you’ll get back with ____?

He sat near my feet and looked at me with his innocent child-like eyes. I blinked since I didn’t know the answer. I sighed and shook my head sadly.

Me: I don’t know

Your POV:

The next morning arrived a little too quickly. DongHae rushed into the living room as soon as I opened the door. Upon hearing her father’s voice, SooHae rushed out of her room and ran into her father’s arms. Mir strode out of his room, scratching the back of his head and yawned.

Mir: What’s all the commotion about?

He grumbled, fetching a glass of milk.

DongHae: Sorry to wake you.

SooHae: You look funny Uncle Mir

DongHae put her down and she ran to him, giving him a morning hug by hugging his right leg. Mir laughed and patted the top of her head. After gulping down his morning drink, he went back to the bathroom to shower and get changed for the day.

Me:Would you like something to eat, SooHae?

I asked, grabbing a box of cereal from the top cardboard and some milk from the fridge.

SooHae: Ne, omma.

She replied, laughing as DongHae threw her up in the air and caught her in his arms. She squealed happily and for once, I pitied DongHae’s ears.

Me: Is cereal fine?

SooHae: Neeeee!

I poured little milk into a small bowl of cereal. After putting the food back to its original place, I walked over to SooHae and DongHae and called out to my daughter. DongHae saw me and pushed SooHae towards me. I smiled at my daughter and she bounced up and down on her two feet.

Me: Aigggggoooo kiumda my babyyyyy. The cereal is softening but you’ll get to eat soon, alright?

SooHae blinked before nodding and smiling at me.

When the cereal softened, I fed SooHae in front of DongHae. On days like this, I thanked God. SooHae did not struggle or fidget or run about. Halfway through her breakfast, I handed the bowl to DongHae and gave him a small smile.

Me: You can feed her if you want to

DongHae: Really?

His eyes twinkled and he accepted the offer in a flash.

DongHae: SooHae, ahhhhhh! Let the aeroplane enter the airport!

SooHae: Huh?

I laughed and watched as DongHae fed SooHae. He really was fatherly. Instead of feeling happy, I felt sad that I had not seen how much SooHae needed her father.

…

Afternoon came and I thanked the heavens for speeding up the time. SooHae was taking her afternoon nap so that left the house in total silence. Mir had gone out and made plans to visit his friends and would not be back until night fell – or maybe later than that.

Me: Pleassssssssseeeee don’t leave me alone with him

I begged Mir last night, when SooHae was fast asleep. Mir shook his head and apologized again.

Mir: I’m sorry, ____... And you were the one who told me to go see some of my friends!

I grumbled.

Me: Must you always be right at times like this?

Mir laughed and ruffled my hair.

Mir: Look, besides, you get to spend some time with the Haes.

I raised an eyebrow at him.

Me: The Haes?

I playfully punched him in the arm.

Mir: Just give him a chance, _____.

I blinked and returned into reality. I told DongHae I was going to take a shower and he nodded. My clothes were already in the bathroom so I didn’t have to get them. I got my towel from my room’s clothes rack and went to the kitchen to get some water to drink. DongHae was asleep on the couch, so I crept to the kitchen. Since the kitchen was an open area, if I dropped anything, DongHae, being a medium-light sleeper, would jump awake.

I got a glass and got ice cold water from the fridge. As I poured the water into the glass, my mind was channelled with thoughts of the past. I missed DongHae and wanted to get back with him – but I couldn’t. I still had patient KyuHyun who was waiting for me. I still had SooHae to take care of. SooHae – my greatest joy and my greatest mistake. How can something so innocent, so pure, so happy, make me feel so… Sad?

I felt something wet on the underside of my feet and realized that my glass was overflown with water. I cursed and put the jug of water on the table and limped on one foot to get a dry cloth. When I returned to the spot, I was not aware of a smaller puddle of water on the marble floor and slipped. Instinctively, I tried holding onto the kitchen counter but instead, knocked over my glass of water and slipped on another puddle of water. The glass shattered and I shut my eyes tight, hoping that the glass would not injure my eye.

My left leg stung and I held it as the stinging sensation coursed through me.

DongHae: What’s going on?

I heard DongHae coming closer.

I opened my eyes and saw a river of blood mixed with the water I tried to clean up.

DongHae: What the hell?

I looked up and saw DongHae, who was wide-eyed with shock. I tried getting up but DongHae told me not to move. He snatched the dry cloth out of my hands and wiped the floor and kitchen counter clean. As he did it, he kept repeating the same question.

DongHae: Are you okay?

I nodded and looked down at my arm. It was dotted with red spots and I saw a few glass shards in my arm. I grunted in pain and tried removing them. DongHae set the cloth down and saw what I was about to do. He held my forearm and looked me in the eye.

DongHae: Wait, let me do it.

I shook my head.

Me: N-No it’s fine.

DongHae: No, it is not fine! You’re bleeding, ____. Just look at your thigh.

I looked at my thigh and saw  that that was the reason for the river of blood.

DongHae: Stay here and don’t move. I’m going to clear the glass.

DongHae shot off and when he came back, he cleared every little glass shard from the floor. He scanned the area for any other glass shards and once he was confident there weren’t any left, he focused on me. This took him about 20 minutes. .___.

Another 15 minutes passed and DongHae removed all the glass from my legs and arms. Then, he helped me up. I bent down and clutched my left leg and shut my eyes tight, embracing the pain. He got me over to the couch and set me down, after putting my bathing towel on the couch to prevent it from being stained with blood.

DongHae: Luckily, it isn’t deep.

He held my arm and checked it for major wounds.

DongHae: What were you exactly doing?

Me: I… I just wanted some water.

DongHae: Well be careful next time!

He got up and examined my wounds.

DongHae: You make me worry.

He muttered to himself, before walking away.

Me: What?

But he didn’t reply. Instead, he returned with the first aid kit in his hands.

Me: How do you know where to find these things?

DongHae inclined his head to look at me. He looked at my wound before digging through the kit.

DongHae: When we were still dating, you got a paper cut and you told me the first aid kit was in the cupboard in the kitchen and when I was helping you put on the Band-Aid, you said that if there was an emergency, the first aid kit will always be there.

He shrugged and pulled open a new packet of band aid. He got out some cotton wool and antiseptic from the kit.

Me: DongHae, I’m sorry..

He waved it off.

DongHae: I don’t want to hear it.

Me: Look, SooHae was a mistake, alright? When I had her in America, I was happy to see that I had a daughter. But knowing that I had her before I was married just saddened me. I… I even told Mir I didn’t want to see her.

DongHae: You, what?

Me: DongHae, I had guilt written all over my face. I disappointed my parents, my family, even my friends. I disappointed myself. But SooHae was one of the best things that happened to me.

I sighed.

Me: How can something so good cause you such misery? I had to leave you. In life, some choices we make will give us a lesson. SooHae was a choice… And we decided to take it. So I learnt my lesson.

He didn’t reply. Instead, DongHae put some antiseptic on a cotton wool and applied it to the wounds on my left arm. I hissed in pain and DongHae did it more gently. Then, he used another cotton wool with antiseptic on it and did the same to the wounds on my thigh. I cried out in pain as the liquid merged with the blood in my wound. It stung so much.

Me: Ah!

I held the stung area and grimaced in pain.

DongHae: Does it hurt that much?

Me: Ne…

I nodded then looked at him.

Me: But not as much as I hurt you.

DongHae kept quiet and applied more on my wound. I accidentally kicked him since I had to try to get rid of the pain somehow.

DongHae: Ow!

Me: Sorry… It’s just.. It hurts…

DongHae: Doesn’t mean you have to kick me!

He went back to apply the last of the wounds before covering each wound with a suitable Band-Aid.

Me: Thank you

I said, running my fingers over the band aids DongHae had put for me. He sat beside me and examined my right arm and leg for other wounds. He ran his fingers along my arm and leg, sending shivers through my body. I smacked his hand away and blushed at my rudeness.

Me: Please don’t.

DongHae: You sure you’re alright?

Me: Ne.

DongHae: Do you mind if I sleep in your room?

I shook my head. DongHae nodded then headed to my room. I heard a door shut quietly. Being left alone in the living room, I felt myself drift off to sleep as well.

DongHae’s POV:

When I got up from my nap, I peeked into SooHae’s room. She was still asleep. I smiled and went into her room and her soft cheek. Getting the chance to see my daughter was such an amazing feeling – it was too amazing to be put it into words.

I walked out and felt the need to snack – when I noticed ____ sleeping on the couch. Her cheek was propped on her hand and she looked uncomfortable. Why didn’t she tell me she wanted to sleep?

I approached her and sat beside her. Good thing she was a heavy sleeper, unlike me.

Gingerly, I put an arm just under her thighs, near her knees and put an arm behind her back. I lifted her and carried her to her room. When I placed her gently on her bed, I saw her cringed – in her sleep. It was probably due to the pain she felt on her thigh. I worried for her and just wished she would admit her feelings for me. I put her in a comfortable position and the side of her face as I sat on the floor in front of her. She still looked so beautiful. Memories of my first actual time meeting her in the café she was in with KyuHyun and EunHyuk came rushing back to me. It was a beautiful memory that I will never forget.

I smiled at my angel who was fast asleep and wished I could cuddle with her in bed. Luckily, my lust could be controlled. Then, _____ lips moved slightly and I feared that she might wake from her slumber. But she remained silent. I heaved a sigh of relief and leaned in towards her, just millimetres from her face. I planted a soft kiss on her lips and pulled myself away. I looked out the doorway and sighed. What was I doing?

???: DongHae…

 I heard someone behind me mutter. I turned to______ and saw that her eyes were ajar.

Me: Oh, you’re awake.

I said, trying to sound casual, as though I had not kissed her just a second ago.

_____: You… Why did you…

She pushed herself up slowly and turned to look at me. She was still so enchanting even though her hair was slightly dishevelled. She rubbed her eyes and blinked, probably adjusting her vision.

_____: You.. You kissed me.

She said slowly. I blushed and looked away.

Me: I didn’t.

She shook her head.

____: You did.

Me: I didn’t.

I refused to admit that I did.

_____: Why would you lie about something like that? I know it was you, DongHae.

Me: It wasn’t me.

_____: Who else in the house would do that then? Who else would kiss me like that?

Me: KyuHyun would.

She stiffened and looked away.

_____: I… I don’t want KyuHyun, DongHae.

I crept closer to her.

Me: Then who do you want?

She looked at me slowly and I knelt in front of her. _____ held my cheek gently and I closed my eyes, missing her touch on my face. I held her hand on my cheek and took in her scent. Ahh… It felt great.

Me: Who do you want, _____?

I asked as she leant in closer to me. Her eyes looked straight into mine.

______: I want you.

…

I could take it no more. I got up and cupped her face in my hands and pressed my lips against hers, hungry for the touch of her lips on mine. ______ wrapped her arms around my waist and moved her lips on mine. I moaned her name in her lips and started to tear as I recollected the memories we had before our break up.

Me: _____... _____...

I kissed her stronger and fiercer and she fell to her side with me falling on top of her.

____: Dong---Hae..

____ cupped my face and tried pushing me away. But I didn’t want her to push me away any more. I wanted her to keep me with her. I wanted her to choose me.

____: Do-ng..Hae..

She pushed me away from her and her eyes widened at the sight of my glossy – too glossy – eyes. She held my cheek and swallowed hard.

______: Y-You’re crying..

She said, stating the obvious. I looked away and got off of her. I sat near her legs and put my head in my hands.

Me: I… I’m sorry. I’ve got to go.

I got up and wished she told me to stop. I wished she would grab my wrist – or hand – and tell me she needed me or wanted to talk to me.

But she didn’t.

And it broke my heart even more.

KyuHyun’s POV:

I got a call from _____ saying that she needed me over. I rushed over to her house in a flash and when she opened the door, she fell into my arms crying her heart out. I got a shock and ran my fingers through her hair. I soothed her back and closed the door behind me. I brought her over to the couch and she rested her head on the curve of my neck. I wrapped my arms around her and rocked her gently.

Me: Why are you crying?

She shook her head.

_____: D---D—DongHae…

Me: DongHae? What did he do? I’ll get that bas---- And what happened to your arm and thigh?!

I examined her thigh and arm and saw that they had band aid over them. One of the band aids on her thigh was dotted with blood on its inside.

____: N-No… He… Crying…

Me: What? Why was he crying? What exactly happened, ____. Tell me, I can’t understand----

I sighed.

Me: I’m sorry I let this happen to you.

I pressed my forehead on the side of her head and squeezed her tighter.

_____: Op---Pa…

Me: Ne?

______: I’m s—s---sorry..

Me: Shhh…. You can tell me why you’re sorry later – when you’ve calmed down, alright? I… I’m sorry I let this happen to you.

______: N---No… Not your fault…

I kissed the top of her head and let her head rest against my chest.

Your POV:

As I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep with the tears still in my eyes, I felt KyuHyun’s heart beat against my head. The constant thumping against my head became music to my ears.

I’m sorry, KyuHyun oppa… For being so mean to you. I left you, and yet you waited for me. I slept with DongHae… And you forgave me. I called you because I needed someone… And you came. Oppa… Why… Why are you being so kind to me, who has been using you and discarding you all along?

I popped an eye open and felt KyuHyun’s soft touch along my cheek. He was me to sleep.

Stop it, oppa. I feel so guilty for not being able to return the love you have took effort and pride to show me… Just leave me and find someone else, will you? You’re such an idiot.

Me: Idiot…

I mumbled.

KyuHyun: What?

I opened my eyes and stared into space.

Me: You’re such an idiot, oppa.

KyuHyun: What?

I got up slowly – with the help of KyuHyun – and turned to face him. I rubbed my eyes and felt my eyes dry up. Well, at least I had found composure and stopped crying like a lunatic.

Me: Why… Why do you do this?

KyuHyun: What do you mean?

Me: You’re too nice, oppa… I… I left you… And then you came back, still waiting… i… I want you to see someone else!

I confessed, grabbing onto his two hands and looking at him in the eyes, which were starting to tear. Mine were starting to tear as well.

KyuHyun: ___--____, you don’t know what you’re saying. You’re still hurt from what happened before.

I shook my head.

Me: But oppa, not as much as I hurt you.

I shook my head again and put a hand on his cheek before smiling sadly at him.

Me: I… I want you to start seeing someone else. Not just anyone. I want you to be happy.

KyuHyun: But I am happy!

Me: No, you’re not. Look at you. I can literally see through you oppa. You’re… Not happy – yet.

KyuHyun: That’s a lie.

Me: Stop lying to yourself, oppa!

KyuHyun: I’m happy with you!

Me: N-No… You’re not.

He held my hands and looked me in the eyes. I… Felt afraid.

KyuHyun: I’m happy… Just being with you. Here, right now, everywhere. You know when you left for America? I… I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I lost my appetite. Gosh, think about how DongHae felt. He… He was worse than I was. But now, I’m happy, _____.

He caressed my cheek.

KyuHyun: You don’t have to worry about me.

But I do, oppa. I worry about you. I worry for you.

I inhaled and exhaled.

Me: Oppa… What if, what if I don’t choose you?

KyuHyun stiffened but quickly replaced that with a sad smile, which didn’t exactly improve his situation.

KyuHyun: Then… I’ll do what you said.

Me: Promise me?

I held out my pinkie. But he pushed my hand away and kissed me on the lips instead. He pulled away as I jumped in surprise.

KyuHyun: Promise.

…

Hours later, SooHae woke up. She played in the living room with her blocks of toys while I rushed KyuHyun out of the house since he kept asking me if I was alright staying home alone with SooHae every second. .__. Sometimes, he just gets too nice. But… I loved him because of that.

Me: I’ll be fine, oppa.

I had told him earlier. I gave him a hug before he left the house.

SooHae: Ommmaaaaaa

Me: Ne?

SooHae: OMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAA

Me: What, what, what?

I sat beside her and was about to lift her up and put her on my lap when I remembered my thigh. With my wounded thigh, I was not going to be able to hold SooHae’s weight. Already, when I sat next to her, my thigh screamed in pain – but it was bearable – in a way. I kissed her cheek and put my head next to hers. She pointed to her toy blocks and I saw that she had made a tower by stacking one block on top of one another.

Me: Waaaaaaaaaa, my baby is so smart! Hahahaha, that looks great honey.

I held her hands and clapped them together. She laughed and squealed, kicking her legs in front of her. She got up and bent down to pick her blocks up. Her was soooooo cute! And squishy! Eeeehehehhehe. I was pedo-ing on my own daughter… Great.

Then, SooHae saw the large band aids on my thigh and arm. She looked at them with big curious eyes and ran her fingers over the band aids, since she had not seen one before, despite that she had them when she went for immunisations. After staring at my band aids, she plopped in front of me and continued toying with her blocks.

SooHae: Ommma??????

Me: Ne?

I asked, as she turned to face me with her innocent eyes. I pinched her cheeks and kissed her forehead.

SooHae: Where’s appa?

Me: Appa?

Appa left.

Me: He had things to do so he left early while you were still sleeping.

I brought her to her room and told her that she should get her stuffed toys to play with. I couldn’t carry her because of my arm.

Your appa… Your omma made him upset, that’s why he left. SooHae-yah, you’re too young to understand what we adults are saying and fighting ridiculously about. You’re so innocent – let’s make it that way.

…

After dinner, I spent time with SooHae and watched some kiddy shows with her. I played with her and even called my parents to talk to her on speaker. But as time flew, SooHae grew tired and she soon fell asleep in my arms. I put her in her bed, trying so hard not to care about the pain in my arm, and took a quick shower. When I was done, I sat in my room and stared at my phone.

My inbox was empty. My ‘missed calls’ was empty. I felt empty.

My mind could not get over DongHae’s face when he realized what we were both doing to one another. And when he confessed to me about his feelings, I wasn’t entirely sure if mine were going to please him. It was horrible to think of someone like me, being so mean and breaking the heart of someone so… So patient like DongHae – and KyuHyun.

I couldn’t choose. I will never choose.

If… If only I was never born… Maybe… Maybe the three of us would not be in this mess.

But… I would have never made so many memories with KyuHyun and DongHae. I wouldn’t have laughed… I wouldn’t have smiled.

But…

Why... Why are there always these paths in life where one can never choose which path is right?

But this wasn’t a matter where which path was right or which was wrong.

I… I cannot choose. Not for the world. I cannot choose. I… I cannot choose. If I choose one, I break the other. It wasn’t a fair scale!

UHHHHHGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGGAGAGAGAAHAHAGHGAGHAHGAHGAGHAGHAGHHAGHAGHAGHAHAGHAHGGHA

I fell to my knees and cried softly to myself as I clasped my phone tightly in my hand and pressed the middle button. A bright light illuminated from the screen and I saw that there was a name that appeared on my phone. I was on my contacts folder.

I blinked away my tears and saw the name on my phone.

DongHae, the boy who never stopped loving me.

…

When morning came, I heard a knock on my door and Mir came in with SooHae in his arms. I groaned and rubbed my eyes as I got up. Mir approached me and put SooHae on my lap gently. My thigh ached a little but it was bearable. And besides, it was my daughter I was holding. SooHae kissed me on the cheek and played with my fingers. I noticed that Mir could not stop staring at me. I realized that he was staring at me band aids.

Me:  I got cut by class yesterday and slipped on a puddle of water in the kitchen.

Mir: You what?!

SooHae jumped and she looked as though she was about to cry.

Mir: Shhh shhh SooHae-yahhhh, look how funny omma looks!

Mir pointed to my dishevelled hair .___. And SooHae started smiling again – and continued to play with my fingers.

Mir sighed and sat in front of SooHae near the edge of the bed.

Mir: I found you on the floor last night – asleep. Your face was red and it was sticky with tears. I’m guessing you didn’t have a good day yesterday.

He patted SooHae’s head and gave her his hands to toy with. She slapped both our hands and squealed. Ahhh kids with their ways of entertainment.

Me: I felt as though he wanted to get back together.

Mir: What are you talking about? He does want to get back together with you! He wants you and SooHae.

Me: But I can’t just say “Hey. I choose you DongHae”. He’s no Pokémon I can just catch… There’s still KyuHyun.

Mir sighed and SooHae’s head. His eyes never left hers.

Mir: Oh my gosh (full name) _______... Look, SooHae needs DongHae, alright? It’s alright if you don’t choose DongHae. But I’m just saying that what if you have someone else in the future? DongHae’s forever going to be SooHae’s daughter and she’s going to need him. If you really are stuck… Why not choose KyuHyun then? That way in the future you aren’t leaving any of them. You still have them and they’ll move on – well one of them will. Look at us, for example, it took me awhile but I moved on, and you did too. Although I have to admit that it still pains me to think about the reason why we broke up.

He laughed nervously and met my eyes.

Me: I can never stop apologising to you.

Mir waved a hand in front of me and shook his head.

Mir: You don’t have to apologise.

Me: I can't do anything right when it comes to guys. it's so... Hard. 

Mir: Look... Just take my advice and follow your heart or whatever.

Me: That is so cliche, oppa! Since when did you start being so... Cheesy? 

Mir: Cheesy? How is that cheesy?

I laughed and shook my head.

Me: Thanks oppa.

Mir: What?

Me: For making me laugh.

He laughed and ruffled the top of my head.

Mir: it's alright. Come on and go get ready. We're going out for lunch.

Me: lunch? But aren't you going out with your friends and family?

Mir: That's for dinner tonight! ^^

Mir carried SooHae in his arms and left the room.

Mir: Don't be too long!

I heard him shout from the living room. 

I sighed and got up, looking back at my phone. I clicked the middle button and saw that the page was still on DongHae's contacts. With a sigh, I made my bed and hid my phone under my pillow, hoping to forget what had happened last night. 

SooHae: Ommmmmmmmmaaaaaaaa~

SooHae came running in my room. 

Me: Ne, aegi (baby)? 

SooHae: Are we going to see appa today?

I cringed and shook my head.

Me: He's busy today. 

SooHae pouted and lifted her arms in the air, indicating that she wanted me to carry her. 

Me: I can't SooHae... Omma's arm is weak now. Your appa put band aid on it and----

I cut short. My heart felt an excruciating pain that I had never felt before. I cringed and saw that SooHae lookd bewildered. I gave her an assuring smile and held her hand to lead her out to Mir.

Me: Maybe.... it's best if we bring her stroller. She seems restless today. 

She ran to Mir who squatted and swooped his arms under hers and carried her in his arms. 

Mir: Alright. 

I nodded and told him that I would not be long. When I looked at myself i the mirror in the bathroom, I couldn't help but notice that my eyes were glossier than usual. 

Me: Ahhhhhhhh!

I blinked and put my hands on the rim of the sink as I blinked away the illusion of DongHae behind me. I panted and I heard knocking on the door.

Mir: ____? Are you okay?

Me: N-ne, i'm fine. I just hit my elbow on the sink and it's the one that hurts so...

Mir: Alright just be careful.

Thank goodness for Mir being gullible. 

I shook my head and splashed some water on my face but that didn't erase the image of DongHae I kept seeing in my head.