★— saranghae_octonauts
` ✼ exotic grounds — reviews gallery
title: 2/5
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Very common. The title kind of gives the story away which is what most of the, weird, writers do.
foreword and description: 8/10
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The way you set the description out was very unique. I loved it! It was awesome and cool.
appearance: 3/5
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The poster was great – high quality and amazing. The description would’ve looked much better if you had one picture of Taemin that was the same size as the other two characters. Same goes for ‘Do Eun Ji’. The way you presented your chapters is unnecessary. I mean, it would look much better and presentable if they were just put to a side. You don’t have to put pictures because that just destroys the reader’s imagination from running wild. AND don’t use capital letters and undermine words. If you want to emphasize it, then put on italics and put an explanation mark!
plot: 10/15
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Your plot was cool. I enjoyed it xD!
originality: 10/15
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I’ve seen a lot of fanfic similar to yours but the layout was different. I never had seen writers do an experiment so it was kind of cool.
grammar and spelling: 10/20
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YChapter One: The line ‘scored my first boyfriends’, is not right. You are talking about one boyfriend because you are having a boyfriend at a time. You can’t have three first boyfriends because that doesn’t make sense so the phrase should be more like this; ‘scored my first boyfriend’. I know you did it intentionally but it just doesn’t make any sense at all. I mean how can a girl have 5 first boyfriends? It’s kind of stupid.
AND don’t use commas when connective is used. For example you wrote: ‘that got me noticed, but not popular’. The comma shouldn’t be there.
The mentioning of ‘at the school gate’ isn’t necessary. Just saying, ‘I finally reached the school gate’, is enough. I mean the reader isn’t that thick. I think he/she can figure it out that you are at the school gate -_-!
Don’t start sentences with buts. Other than that, you make the same mistakes on putting the commas in front of connectives.
flow: 9/10
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It flowed really well. I wanted to keep reading on!
characterization: 8/10
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Your portrayed the characters in a different light, I really liked that. I liked the fact that you did a character chart.
overall enjoyment: 7/10
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I enjoyed your fanfic quiet a lot! xD
total: 67/100
reviewer: chiimii
reviewer's notes:
This is clearly my opinion. Other people might think differently so if you are disappointed then I sincerely apologize! xD! I hope you enjoyed reading over this! Thank You for requesting.
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