Title : 1/5

First, it’s too long for a title. ‘Stronger than Death’ would have been sufficient. Next is grammar. It’s wrong. The correct one is ‘Love is Stronger than Death Itself’. Don’t forget that title don’t have period (.) at the end. It’s not exciting and has been done numerous times. As a reader I won’t click on it since it’s pretty much give a vibe of the overly clichéd story that has plagued AFF over the years.

Foreword/Description : 4/10

Your description is done fairly well. It gave an adequate summary of what it is, but it doesn’t really grab me. But it’s good enough.
Your foreword is practically blank. You still need to write something other than author’s note there. Put a snippet of paragraph or two from the story. Pick the most intriguing part and put it in the foreword. It will make your readers more interested in finding out what’s happening in the story, so it urge them more to read.

And please use a simple color and smaller font next time when you are writing author’s note and other stuff. Please remember that you want your readers to enjoy and remember your story, not your author’s note.

Appearance : 3/5

The poster and background are nicely done. It didn’t really suit the story though because it’s a bit too dark. It fits more to a mystery/horror theme. It’s an angst story so I feel it would have been better if the color shades are a bit lighter. The current poster is just too bold for my preference.

Plot : 5/15

The plot has been done too many times already and is very cliché. It’s pretty much what happened in almost all the soap operas I have watched, so nothing ordinary there. There is not much different I can point out that make your story your own. Nothing really stands out. The is just that. The ending where she died is expected. It would be better if you focus more on the friendship essence of the story. The whole prom thing (the preparation and all) is not necessary and it’s actually diverting the readers’ attention from the main interest of Sunny’s condition. Other than that, you didn’t really provide much emotional narration, so I couldn’t indulge myself in the pain of losing a friend while reading your story.

Originality : 3/15

The story is not original as it’s been done numerous times already. I would prefer if you cut all the unnecessary scenes since the whole timeline of the events is pretty much expected and it didn’t bear any twists and surprises. And if you focus more on writing the emotions of what the characters are going through it would have been better. There are a lot of potential in that, how Sunny is feeling of going to die, how Tiffany and Hyoyeon are feeling of losing their best friend, and how her parents’ feel about losing a daughter.

Grammar : 16/20

Your grammar is not perfect, but already along the line of being right. You are consisted of using past tense throughout. There are simple punctuation mistakes, but it mostly affected the tone and didn’t really affect how the sentences were carried out. Most other mistakes such as spelling are mostly because of typo.  However, your vocabulary is still very simple. It’s not up to that level of being a literature or any professional terms yet. Read more. Try finding synonyms for the words you use is a good way to practice using more narrative words.

Characterization : 3/10

Your characters are the usual characters that appear in a cliché overused story. Sunny is the perfect girl that is suddenly affected by something, and Tiffany and Hyoyeon as the loyal, cheery best friends. You didn’t really indulge in venturing on their emotions and personalities. And it is important to do so in order to have an in depth character. The way you write your characters is still on the surface. You need to write more on their emotional struggle, their inner monologue. Try using more narration instead of just stating of how the feel and what they do.

Flow : 9/10

The flow is alright. It’s not rush considering it is a one-shot. It’s consistent throughout so I didn’t feel shocked during the transition of one scene to the other.

Overall Enjoyment : 3/10

I don’t really enjoy it since it didn’t have a decent plot and characters. You really need to learn more on that. Don’t worry it comes with practice. The more you read and write the better you get. Your mechanics, flow, and transition are already alright, but brush it off more to make it better.

Total : 47/100

thederpchanyeol's note. here's your review! thanks for requesting! don't forget to credit the shop and the reviewer! :)