Title : 3/5

It's okay, makes me curious to find out what may happen.

Foreword and Description : 5/10

Firstly, 'Good Morning World' shouldn't be in caps aside from the first word. Which means it should be, 'Good morning world' instead of capitalizing every first word just because it looks nice, or something that made you to do so. It's wrong. Same goes for 'Good Morning Mom'.

Here, "so she quickly said." It should be changed into a comma like this, "so she quickly said," As there is a conversation coming next, you should use the comma instead of a full stop, which means that conversation has nothing to do with your current sentence. 

And, 

"awesome hands of Mrs. Kwon" 

This is wrong, you have forgotten to add in a comma or full stop at the end of that sentence. Same goes for the rest. 

Next, your introduction/prologue should have been combined into one. Not two separate scenes.

Appearance : 4/5

Your poster's simple but pretty well done! Though it would have been better if the ullzang you chose had a brighter expression (your description explained so).

Plot : 8/15

Honestly, your description already gave away majority of your plot. It's sad, you could have excluded Myungsoo's POV.

Originality : 8/15

Most of it is clique, except for their meeting. It could be better if you slowly progressed, later writing about how they met. All the adoption, schoolmates, having same timetables, fan girls  are quite common.

Grammar and Spelling : 12/20

Example: "OMO! Mianhae.."

There should be three commas, not two.

Suggestion: "OMO! Mianhae..."

Example: 'bigtime.'

This isn't a word. It should be separated.

Suggestion: 'big time.'

Example: 'Ohmygosh'

Suggestion: 'Oh-my-gosh'

Example: '10x'

Suggestion: 'ten times'

Example: 'blaberring'

Suggestion: 'blabbering'

Mainly, your problems are just spelling errors and misunderstanding of not using commas when conversations are carried out. You should google it to learn more about when to type in commas for speeches. 

Also, please watch out for your accidental capitalization made (only the first letter of every new sentence needs one, unless the word is a name, food, etc).

Other than these, you're pretty fine.

Flow : 5/10

A bit bumpy, for your grammar. I'm impressed that though English isn't your first language, you managed to write well.

Characterization : 6/10 

I would say it's a little confusing, but okay to follow.

Myungsoo is a cool, impassive and confident man in this story, though inside he doesn't know he's crushing on Jiyoon.

Jiyoon is a bubbly, cute typical girl, on the other hand. I could see them through conversations and thoughts. It's good you don't point them out straight away.

Overall Enjoyment : 5/10

My interests kind of decreased from the description.

Total : 56/100

 reviewed by acebabiesunite 

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E.G.'s notes!

hi! i'm E.G.! i'm here to remind you of crediting the shop and the reviewer. i'll keep an eye on your stories! /mehrong

thanks for requesting! :)