★— Gemslover
` ✼ exotic grounds — reviews gallery
title: 3/5
----------------------------------------------
You should probably pick a different title. I think it reveals too much about what's going to happen.
foreword and description: 8/10
----------------------------------------------
It could have been cleaner and better done. I think the text was too big for my eyes. The character charts were fine, nonetheless.
appearance: 4/5
----------------------------------------------
Looks good, but the large text still bothers me. The overall is good, it's neither too bright or dark. It is even very easy to read.
plot: 12/15
----------------------------------------------
Well chosen, I haven't seen a story like that before! I think it's absolutely genius, if you ask me. And you portrayed the plot a little slower than I expected. It sort of just hung around and then you started moving into the rising actions, so I think it'll be best if you try focusing on the topic.
originality: 14/15
----------------------------------------------
As I said about the plot, it's very unique. I think it is a good idea. However, it may be difficult for you to write sometimes.
grammar and spelling: 18/20
----------------------------------------------
Good spelling and grammar, it looks very well written. But instead of using periods all the time, use more commas to make a compound sentence. Use your ability of sentence fluency well!
flow: 6/10
----------------------------------------------
It goes by with a medium pace, but it tends to speed up, because you aren't taking the time to slow down and really emphasize what's going on. Use more adjectives, and just the flow advantage. For example,
"Jin Ri stared at the ticking clock in longing as the nostalgic time passed through the wind, through her swept hair. Her eyes spotted each stem in careful, but swift movement, deeming her for the long to leave work the hardest part of employment. Tick by tock, thirty seconds never felt so distant."
And use the words to slow down time! Always try to use a thesaurus on or offline to improve your wording. Through this way, the readers can enjoy the length of the fic, and the paragraphs you write as well!
characterization: 4/10
----------------------------------------------
I think the original characters are portrayed quite well, however, DBSK... They don't sound realistic. I know it is a fiction, but you have to base it by the way they've acted already. Character portrayal always depends on the fic, but you have to learn how to use their actions and put it into your fic. For example, Junsu doesn't really seem like himself, I would imagine him to be playful, humorous and fun, but instead you kind of put him into a spot of a teenager, I mean, he would react sweetly to PDA, not complain. And Yoochun would joke around more often. So, I really think that's the spot to really work on.
overall enjoyment: 6/10
----------------------------------------------
To be very and incredibly honest, I didn't really enjoy it that much. Forgive me, I thought it was too vague and short. But do remember, I am on the strict and harsher side, so this might not mean and entirely bad thing. The chapters were cut down to a lot, and I thought you could have put more effort into this. I hope you do improve, though, there is always room for improvement. And, I KNOW you can do better, just keep working hard! Thank you for requesting at exotic grounds, see you next time!
total: 75/100
reviewer: raelin
----------------------------------------------
reminder:
- credit the shop and the reviewer.
- comment after picking up.
- like the review? upvote us!
Comments