❊ MapleAngel19
` ✼ exotic grounds — reviews gallery
❊ be my dazzling girl
title: 5/5
Its a nice and interesting title.
foreword and description: 6/10
I caught some mistakes, one of them was when you put "Nana, the daughter of a very wealthy man, has dreams of becoming a K-Pop Idol."
when its supposed to be ""Nana the daughter of a very wealthy man, has dreams of becoming a K-Pop Idol."
or "Nana, the daughter of a very wealthy man, has dreams of becoming a K-Pop Idol."
when its supposed to be ""Nana is the daughter of a very wealthy man, has dreams of becoming a K-Pop Idol."
Another one was when you put, "Lee Nana, simple well spirited hardworking girl?" when it was supposed to be, "Lee Nana, a simple, well spirited and hardworking girl?"
appearance: 3/5
LOVE the poster and story arrangement, the font is a good choice too. Although you changed it quite a bit, from arial to georgia to arial and more.
plot: 12/15
There's a lot of stories like this too, but yours is really unique and different.
originality: 9/15
grammar and spelling: 7/20
Yeah.. I have to elaborate on this.
You: "-Sigh- Another day of school great."
Supposed: "-Sigh- Another day of school, great."
You: "-Sigh- Another day of school great."
Supposed: "-Sigh- Another day of school, great."
You: "JB Oppa what do you want" I whined
Supposed: "JB oppa, what do you want?" I whined. (I suggest you put punctuation. As for me, I get a little irked about these.)
You: "I walk to the girls change room and put on a t-shirt and sweatpands for dance prep class."
Supposed: "I walked to the girls' changing room and put on a t-shirt and some sweatpants for the dance prep class."
I'll stop there. Mostly, Ithink you should focus on your punctuation and spelling. Not many people like reading stories with missing punctuation and wrong use of adjectives.
You put, "furiously" but it was supposed to be, "angrily"
It means almost the same thing although furiously is a little more strong. :)
flow: 8/10
I thought it flowed quicker than it should be but it's not bad.
characterization: 8/10
overall enjoyment: 6/10
I enjoyed it pretty much but I felt like I didn't want to read on because of the punctuation.
total: 64/100
reviewer: xhiimee
notes: Sorry for the long wait and I hope that it I'm not that harsh. :)
reminders:
01. don't forget to credit us. :)
02. use our work for at least a month.
03. comment after picking up.
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