m o o n l y h t 3 9 }
` ✼ exotic grounds — reviews gallery
MOONLYHT39
my korean boyfriend
title: 3/5
It was simple, but it gave too much, I guess. I also found it common and a little bit interesting.
foreword/description: 8/10
The summary was good, though I've encountered some mistakes in it. You gave a very brief summary without revealing too much. That's good.
appearance: 4/5
I do think the poster goes well with your story's genre. I deducted a point because of too much spaces. It made the story long, but a bit empty. Single or double spacing is enough.
plot: 11/15
The plot is somehow interesting, but it wasn't good yet. A few more chapters and I think things will get more exciting.
originality: 15/15
Your story is original, I must say. I like the idea of Dara's grandmother forcing her to get a boyfriend and Bom helping her. The way Dara and GD met was good, too.
grammar and spelling: 11/20
You should focus more on your punctuation marks. There were times when you used commas correctly, but most of the time, you didn't. There were pretty long sentences that should be split up in half. Also, I saw some problems in your capitalization.
You wrote: 'My mom never once mention anything...'
Correction: 'My mom never once mentioned anything...'
You wrote: 'Why don't you just go instead me?'
Correction: 'Why don't you just go instead of me?'
You wrote: 'I don't know if I call this lucky or misfortune.'
Correction: 'I don't know if I should call this luck or misfortune.'
Another major problem is your inconsistency with the tenses. 1st POV uses only one tenses - either present or past tense.
flow: 7/10
The flow was okay. It wasn't that slow. But your tenses affected your flow.
characterization: 7/10
I don't think you made their characters strong enough. GD's personality was okay, but Dara's is still underdeveloped.
overall enjoyment: 5/10
I did enjoy it a bit. What bothered me was when Dara was talking to the characters who don't understand English. You don't have to mention what Donghae or GD said to her, since she didn't understand a word they said. That's the problem when you're using 1st POV. There are limits that should be noted of. So, just plainly say 'then he answered something I don't understand.'
total: 71/100
notes: Here's your review! Sorry if it's late. :)
reviewer: thederpchanyeol
remember: comment after picking up! :)
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