Title: 3/5

It's kinda common. Just a correction: it should be "I Love You, Dad".

Foreword/Description: 7/10

The summary was fine. I just found mistakes here and there. Oh, and I found it a bit confusing. You said that Kris had a child when he was 17 and now, he's 30. So, that child should be 13 years old, not 19. Well, yeah. I just got confused there.

Appearrance: 4/5

Plot: 13/15

The plot is pretty interesting. Just like your other story, it seems complicated, and when Luhan entered the scene, it became more complicated. Good job with creating such plot.

Originality: 13/15

I've read one or two fics/stories with quite the same plot. But this one is original. I how you can pull this off and make it more exciting.

Grammar: 13/20

Well, again, punctuation marks and capitalizations are your problem.

You wrote: "Which means the child is probaby 19 by now."

That line is pretty hanging, with no complete thoughts at all. You should have just combined it with the previous statement.

You wrote: "And when kris finally man's up to meet his ex-girlfriend, a tragedy happened."

Correction: "And when Kris finally manned up to meet his ex-girlfriend, a tragedy happened."

You wrote: "i sobbed while walking back to mom's grave after i went to thanked all the people that helped me with mom's death."

Correction: "I sobbed while walking back to my mom's grave, after thanking all the people who helped me with mom's death."

I kinda sounded wrong. But at least, I've given you an idea on what your mistakes are.

You wrote: "She want's you to read this."

Okay. So, 's is to show someone's ownership. It should be 'wants'.

I have also seen some inconsistencies with your verb tenses. Just reread your story and you should be able to spot them.