“Families are the compass that guides us, they are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter”

I woke up with a throbbing head and an aching body. I don’t know what the hell happened to me, but I feel like a huge rock has hit me, bringing me intense pain. Opening my eyes is a challenge for my lids are so heavy. I can hear murmurs but I can’t even point out who’s talking. Why do I feel like something bad just happened?

“O…o….o…p…p…p…a” I’m so weak and I can’t even hear any voice coming out from me.

This is hell! What is happening?

“OMMA! OMMA!” I felt my daughter’s hands on my arm. She’s shaking me and that’s when I sighed in relief for someone saw me awake at last.

“Baby!” G-dragon called and my heart jumped upon hearing his voice.

“She’s awake now” he said and I heard someone crying.

Seriously, what is up with these people? Why do they look so shock upon seeing me awake?

“What happened?” I am trying my hardest to be heard.

My husband’s warmth is really soothing. I am getting paranoid and is also in total panic for I don’t even know what’s happening around me. All I know is that, I’m in strict bed rest and needs to stay in the hospital for the rest of my pregnancy.

“Baby” he kissed my forehead and felt a tear drop coming from him “I’m so happy that you’re awake now” he said and that alarmed me.

“What? I don’t understand” I told him and he looked straight into my eyes.

“You were in a coma for two months baby” the moment I heard this, I almost fainted for I cannot believe that something like this will really happen to me.

I’m going in and out of the hospital for six months already and I’m so use in hearing complications here and there, but this is just so serious. How will I be in a coma when the last thing I can remember is that, I’m running a high fever and my blood pressure shoot up. Doctor Park even promised to make things better for me.

This is just so insane. Actually, I’m not afraid of death now coz I’ve embraced the fact that this pregnancy might take my life away, but my babies. Wait! The babies! How are they?

“The triplets” tears started pooling in my eyes for I’m scared as hell for my little ones.

“Baby” his tone is not so good.

I don’t know, but my motherly instinct is telling me that something is not right. And because of that, I touched my belly and freaked out for I don’t have a huge bump anymore. I’m just six months pregnant. It’s so impossible for me to give birth and I can’t even remember being in labor.

“No….tell me….did they survive?” I am in total dread for I have a feeling that my babies didn’t make it.

G-dragon held my hand and kissed it “They are alive baby” he said and smiled.

The moment I heard this, tears started flowing down my cheeks. I’m yet to know what really happened to me, but I’m just so happy because the triplets made it. All I’m wishing now is for them to be in good health coz they went out of this world so early.

“I want to see them” I told him and he shook his head.

“Not now baby…you’re still so weak…but don’t worry…once you’ve regained your strength already…we’ll go and see them” he said and I shook my head.

“No! I want to see them…NOW! Please” I begged. Honestly, I’m still feeling crap and I don’t think I can even walk.

Next thing I know it, nurses and doctors is surrounding me already. As much as I want to have my husband and daughter beside me, they can’t for these people needs some space to move around. This big time.

“Ishi…can you move your arms?” an American doctor asked and I did what was told.

“Very good…how about the other arm” I raised my heavy arm up and received satisfied nods from the doctors.

“Can you move your legs?” my whole body feels so stiff and moving it is really hard.

“Can you say something?” what is up with them? Why are they making me do these crazy things?

“HI?” I said unsurely, receiving a giggle from them.

“This is really impressive” a doctor who looks so young said and I just gave her a nod.

After that, Doctor Park already told me the things that I didn’t know and it answered all the questions in my head.

“You had Preeclampsia…that’s the reason why your blood pressure always shoots up….you also had a fever hours before the whole action happened and because of that…my co-doctors and I have decided to get the babies out already….I’m telling you Ishi….it’s one heck of a challenge to all of us…there are a total of ten doctors and fifteen nurses in the delivery room at that time…all of us are watching you and the babies intently….it took us almost ten hours just to get things done” she said and my eyes just got wide in shock and awe.

“You’ve undergone a caesarian section and even had an extreme bleeding…we’re just so thankful coz we’ve got lots of doctors who have much experiences than me” I am really a pain in the . These things are just so unbelievable. I’m telling you, I never thought that I’m going to be this difficult.

“We were able to get the babies out in time….but minutes after that…your heartbeat slowed in its most alarming level...at that point…we were already expecting for the worst but when it increased again…that’s when we did what is needed to do…but it’s not enough for your brain lacked oxygen which brought you to a coma….talking to you now is a miracle…wanna know why?” she asked and I just looked at her blankly.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because there’s only a slim chance for you to wake up…actually….we already told Jiyong to give you up coz it’s just too impossible already…but he stood by his decision of not giving you up….he held on to that thin thread of hope that one day…you’ll wake up again….and here you are now…alive and kicking after two months of being almost dead…you’re really lucky and I envy you for that” she chuckled.

This is something intense. Seriously, I cannot even process everything right now. The mere fact that I’m about to die already is so freaking scary and I really should be thankful, for my husband stood by me and didn’t give up. This just shows how much he loves me.

“Oppa” I called right after my talk with Doctor Park.

I forced myself to sit and succeeded even though my back is giving me the crappiest pain of all “You jerk!” I said and pulled him for a hug.

“Huh? What did I do to you?” he asked and I chuckled.

“You really love me…huh?” I asked and he just stared at me.

I’m on cloud nine. It’s all sinking in now. What my husband did is really wonderful. He can actually just give up on me for I’ve been his greatest problem of all time, but he didn’t. I know that he doesn’t want to be put in this situation, but he was able to survive. He stayed beside me no matter what and it’s really overwhelming. All this suddenly reminded me of the vow that he told me during our wedding and when we renewed our vows. He promised to stay with me through thick or thin and he really did. This man is really one of a kind.

He smirked and cupped my face “Do you think I’ll do this if I don’t love you? For your information Ishi Kwon….I’ve been through hell for two months STRAIGHT and if you only know how many tears have I cried every ing day….you will really pity me…I don’t even know what to do with you anymore…you were just lying there…lifeless and all I can do is stare at you….well…I hate talking to you coz I feel like I’m just talking to myself....you nearly killed me there” he said and I started crying.

“Oppa…thank you” I said and he hugged me “Thank you because you didn’t give up on me…I know that I’ve never been a good wife and I’m always a headache….and I’m sorry for putting you in this situation again…I know that you don’t want this to happen…you’re so strong Kwon Jiyong…you’re the man that every girl will want to have….and I’m really a lucky for having you….thank you for making me live…thank you for holding on to me”

We just cried and cried and cried. None of us can even believe what just happened for it’s too intense and dramatic. Who would even think that we will survive all of this? All the pain and disappointments. Not to mention, we’ve been thrown to hell for a million times as well. Thinking of it now, this pregnancy just made us stronger and we learned how to stand up for each other too.

Days had passed and I’m all good already. I can walk and basically do everything as well. My doctors are still checking on me though coz my blood pressure is still going up from time to time, but other than that, I’m all good and is ready to kick asses again.

“Alright baby…here they are” G-dragon decided to bring me to the nursery to see our triplets and I can’t be much happier.

The moment we entered the NICU, my heart nearly break coz I’m seeing three small angels in an incubator. According to their doctor, they are going to stay like this for another month. They’ve been here for two months and our little girl’s condition is still unstable for her lungs are not working on its own yet and that alone is making me so worried.

“Can I hold even just one them?” I asked and the nurse nods her head.

I can’t hold them in my arms yet, but I can touch them. As they say, a mother’s touch can heal a baby and I’m wishing for my angels to be healed by my warmth. My tears are flowing down non-stop for my heart is in pain with what I’m s