“The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn”

There are times wherein you’ll be forced to do something that not even in your wildest dreams have you imagined doing. Decision making is hard, it’ll always put you in a dreadful situation. You will end up asking yourself if you’ve done the right thing, but what will you do if you don’t have a choice anymore? That you have to choose only one even if you want to keep both? Why does this have to happen to us? What did we do to deserve this? Why are we given this wonderful gift if in just a snap of a finger it’ll also be taken away from us?

These past weeks have been a blast for my family. We are touring Asia together and all I can say is that, I’ve never imagined that this will happen. My wife’s pregnancy has brought me to cloud nine the moment she broke the news in front of thousands of people, my whole being was in glee.

“What? What did she say? Am I hearing her right Youngbae-ah?” I asked upon hearing my wife’s announcement.

“Aigoo…Ishi is pregnant Jiyong! SHE’S PREGNANT AGAIN!” he shouted in glee and I froze in shock.

It’s all true. She’s really pregnant which only means that, I’m going to be a father once again. At that point, all I want to do is go up the stage again and kiss my lovely wife. Truth is we’re not expecting this at all for we have failed to make one when we were in Paris. At last, after years of waiting, another baby is on its way and I can’t be more excited.

I don’t know how she did it, but Ishi was able to finish her concert even in a sensitive situation. Just by thinking that she danced and moved around the stage like she’s not carrying a baby is enough to make me worry.

“Ishi really needs to cancel her upcoming concerts Jiyong…it’s really risky” TOP hyung told me while we’re waiting for Ishi’s emergency meeting to end.

“I know…but knowing Ishi…I have a feeling that she will still go with it” I sighed with my mind going blank.

Ishi’s stubbornness is still my biggest problem and I know that even if she’s pregnant, she will not stop touring. My wife will stick with whatever’s planned because she has committed herself to it already. But I’ll try to convince her not to do it anymore. I’m just hoping that she’ll listen to me.

After her emergency meeting, I can see on the staffs and even JYP Sajangnim’s faces worry and fear, and from there, I already know that Ishi has made a decision. I was right, she will continue with the tour and it’s final.

I didn’t voice out my feelings about the matter yet for we’ve got another problem to handle. Our daughter Athena is not good with having any siblings and now that Ishi is pregnant, she doesn’t have a choice but to embrace reality. But as they say, all’s well that ends well. Our daughter is already good with her having a sibling. Honestly, I’m not expecting her to be this easy. Now, all we have to do is pray that the baby is a girl for that’s what she wants to have.

“Baby” I joined her in bed after a tiring day.

“Oppa…I’m so tired” she complained and I pulled her close to me.

“You can rest on Oppa’s chest” I tapped my chest for her to rest her head.

“Are you happy?” she looked up at me with a wide smile on her face.

“Of course baby…I’m extremely happy and totally excited” I her cheek with my thumb.

She leaned in for a kiss and sighed “I know that you’re not good with my decision of continuing the tour” she said and I sighed heavily.

“Can I still do anything about it?” I asked and she gave out a pout.

“Baby...it’s too dangerous…what if you slip or trip on stage? The mere fact that you’ll be going to different countries without any rest is enough to say that what you’re about to do is going to cause a problem for the baby” I told her and she sat up.

“Oppa…I know that…but trust me…this wouldn’t affect the baby at all…I’ll be careful…and the whole team is already making safe arrangements for me…I won’t dance anymore…and I will not move that much as well…I know that the people will understand me…all I want to do is push through with this because they have waited and spent so much for this…I don’t want to disappoint them” she reached for my hand and held it tightly.

I know that I don’t have any say to it anymore. She has made up her mind and going against what she wants will just spark up a fight between us. All I have to do is support her decision and watch over her closely. I’ve also decided that I’ll be going with her on tour just to make sure that things are going to be fine.

And with that, I’ve decided to volunteer myself as one of her guests. I really think that her idea of putting guests on her concert is really brilliant. Her performing time will become shorter and she’ll be having longer breaks in between sets as well.

This decision of mine will truly affect my recording for my solo album, but it’s not important anymore. What’s important is that, I’ll be with my wife and I will make sure that she will be well taken care off.

“Hello?”

“Jiyong…it’s hyung” Hyun suk hyung said.

“Oh! What can I do for you hyung?” I was watching Athena swim and my mind is not ready for any business talks right now.

“Athena called me awhile ago…did you know that?” he asked and I was so surprised.

“Aigoo…what did she tell you hyung?” I asked and he giggled.

“Well….your daughter called to ask me a favor…she can really negotiate well for herself Jiyong…I’m telling you…she can manage herself even in a young age” he said and I’m not getting it.

“What are you talking about hyung?” I asked in confusion.

“Athena wants me to convince you and Ishi to let her perform in the concert…according to her…she really wants to sing and she wants to take part on her mother’s show…thing is…you’re not allowing her…so she took a chance and called me…I asked her why didn’t she contacted Jin young and her answer really made me happy” he said and chuckled.

“What did she say?” I asked, still not getting every detail of it.

“She told me that she wants to be in YG and that I’m her favorite Uncle…that’s why she went to me for help…not only that…I asked her to sing for me and she did it without hesitation…Jiyong…I’m telling you….she’s really talented and she’ll go a long way” he answered and it made me laugh.

It looks like Athena knows how to pull some strings already. Her answer to Hyun suk hyung’s question is already given for she’s not that close with JYP Sajangnim. I just cannot believe that my five year old daughter has the “balls” to talk to a top artist handler like YG.

“But hyung…we don’t want her to be on stage yet…I know that she’s talented and I will not stop her from singing…but…I will not let her go out on shows to perform….she’s too young for that” I told him and he sighed.

“Jiyong…we are not going to let her work fully….all the kid wants is to experience how it is to be on stage and perform in front of thousands of people…she’s happy doing it and I think all you have to do is give her a shot…after this…you can talk her out of it already” he has a point, thing is, I don’t know if this is what I really want for my daughter.

I started appearing on shows at the age of six and during that time, I really thought that I was just playing and it’s not about earning and work at all. But growing up, I suddenly felt like all I want to do is perform and it made me ditch my studies. I pushed w