“You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth of falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn’t you then first discover how much you really trusted it?”

I trust her. Yes, I still do. What I don’t trust are the people around her. I don’t know, but I feel like I’m about to burst already. I have my hands full with all her craziness and now the rumors about her are adding up. Am I not a good husband? Is saving her life a bad move? Why is she doing this to me? Why do I have to suffer? Why is my burden always heavier than her?

Well, I know that I married a strong willed woman. A girl that you can’t manipulate in just a snap. I don’t know, but her being so stubborn and sometimes “stupid” decisions are already taking a toll on me. I can’t even bring myself to get angry at her and it because my heart is about to explode already and here I am, being silent about everything.

“Jiyong” Youngbae sat beside me and sighed heavily.

“I’ve read it already…and I’m all good with it” I lied.

Minutes ago, an article about Ishi and Nichkhun being cozy and having dinner is spreading like wildfire on the internet. Honestly, I am a bit jealous because she is going out with him when she doesn’t even want to go with me and Athena whenever we go shopping or does something fun.

“Jiyong…I know what you’re feeling right now…if I were you…don’t give a damn about that article…it’s just going to the hell out of you” he patted my shoulder and I just sighed.

As a matter of fact, I’m already ed up because I badly want to go to her and get her already, but I can’t for I’m here at Busan. I’m so far away from her and worst is she doesn’t have any guard there coz Athena is with me.

“Aigoo…you really have to stop thinking about that article…seriously Jiyong…it’s just going to mess you up” TOP hyung said when I joined them for dinner.

I cannot even eat. All my mind can think of is my wife and her “best friend”. I don’t know, but every time I try to befriend Nichkhun, he’ll be doing something that will make me hate him. It’s just crazy because even if I know that my wife will not even dare to cheat on me, I still have this fear that history will repeat itself and our bad memory in Greece years ago might be repeated.

“Appa….are you alright? Why aren’t you eating?” Athena asked with full of lettuce wrap.

“Huh?” I snapped back to my senses, causing my daughter to laugh like crazy.

“Aigoo…Mr. Kwon is once again in lala land” she pinched my cheeks, making everybody laugh.

I’m really thankful that my daughter is here with me now for if I’m alone, I might’ve gone crazy already. Seriously, Ishi is messing my mind up with all the what if’s and unnecessary thoughts that she’s bringing.

“OH Jiyong!” Eon hyung said in shock when upon picking my call.

I can’t help it. I really want to sleep well and that would be impossible if my mind is clouded with a lot of things. I just have to make sure that my wife is not doing anything crazy behind my back. Where is my trust? Well, right now, I think it gone down to my feet already.

“Aigoo…Jiyong…there’s nothing to worry about….Khun just visited Ishi…it’s actually his first time visiting her” he answered, but it didn’t give me any peace at all.

“Have you talked to her already hyung?” I asked.

“Yes…I even scolded her…but…she cleared everything to me and it’s just a friendly dinner…the press just got it all fired up…don’t worry…Khun will speak out tomorrow I think…he is gonna step out coz he doesn’t want to burden you again” the moment I heard this, my heart calmed and my mind stopped from thinking too much.

I guess Nichkhun already had a grip of reality. He’s not hoping that there’ll be him and Ishi anymore. It’s a good thing that he’ll be the one clearing everything for my wife cannot do that now because her mind is just too occupied with a lot of things already.

“You know what? You should call Ishi…that woman is also worried about you and what you might think” he said and I don’t know if it’s a good idea for I can feel that a fight is going to spark between us.

“Alright hyung” I hanged up. Composed myself and prepared for an intense talk.

As much as possible, I really don’t want to make a big deal out of this because it’s nothing big at all. I know my wife, and I’m so sure that she will not do anything that will shake our marriage. Thing is, she’s so far away from me right now and we rarely talk as well. Not only that, she’s not emotionally stable nowadays and I’m afraid that she might develop something for Nichkhun coz that guy is helping her move on. Fine. This is me thinking WAY TOO MUCH and it’s really driving me nuts.

“Oppa!” she sounds scared and shocked at the same time. This woman already know the reason why I called.

“What’s up?” I asked. Cold.

“Oppa…I’m sure that you’ve already read it…I just want to tell you that it’s nothing….Khun went here to see if I’m doing good…we spent some time together and went out for dinner…but that’s just it…the whole getting cozy thing is really insane…and I did held on to him while we were walking and that is because the people are getting thick and we are getting cramped already....aigoo” she went all out right away and I know that this is her way of telling me, “I don’t have much time to argue and I’m really not in the mood for it…it’s all up to you if you want to believe me or not”.

Silence came next for I don’t know what to say anymore. I think I’ve heard what I want to hear and as usual, I believed it. Well, there’s no reason for me not to believe, right? I mean, I’ll know for sure if she’s lying.

“Baby…I’m sorry for doubting you” I finally speak out.

She sighed heavily “Oppa…I was so worried because you might misunderstand everything …I just want you to know that me and Khun are not getting cozy…in fact…we are a bit awkward to each other…the people are the ones who’s making a big thing out of it…I’m sorry because I didn’t tell you about this earlier” she said and I’ve calmed down already.

“hmmm…how’s Busan? Is Athena enjoying?” she asked, totally changing the mood.

“Well…we are missing you here...but things are all good…she’s with TOP hyung and Youngbae right now…they’re teaching her how to rap” I answered and she gasped.

Well, TOP hyung has always wanted to teach Athena how to rap and for my daughter, rapping is “talking fast without any periods at all”. That’s what she calls it and I’m telling you, she’s got some potential. Thing is, her twisted tongue is a big problem.

“Rap? Are you serious Oppa? You guys are teaching Athena how to rap?” she asked in disbelief, making me laugh.

“Yeah…we are…and baby…she’s enjoying every second of it” I told her.

I know that my wife strictly told me that she doesn’t want our daughter to be boyish and that me, along with my members should be easy in teaching her guy things. Well, her love for wrestling, cars, and beanies are all because of us and Ishi is a bit disturbed about it.

“Girls rap as well baby….what do we know? She might be the next CL” I said and she chuckled.

“You did it Jiyong…you have talked me out again” she said, making me laugh “Just don’t teach her how to curse” she added and I laughed hard again.

“Baby….we’re making her rap nursery songs…baa baa black ship and twinkle twinkle little star has a new do because of her” I told her confidently and next thing I know it, she’s laughing like there’s no tomorrow already.

Once again, our supposed to be serious talk became comedy and I think that’s better than firing things up. Yes, I’m still worried about her being close to Nichkhun again, but I trust her and I know so well that she’s not going to break it at all.

Days passed by and I’m so busy with a lot of things on