“The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent, and it must be equal”

There will really come a time wherein you’ll feel like you’ve just done almost everything that you can do just to make things straight, but unfortunately, in the end of the day, you will still be as twisted as you are and much more. I don’t know who to blame for all of this already. My mind is telling me that no one is to blame here for this is just a total misunderstanding, while my heart is telling me that I am at fault coz if I’m the one who made this thing big. I screwed up and I just can’t forgive myself for it.

A whole week has passed and I’m still alone. I wake up every morning with a heavy heart and swollen eyes. I’m alive but my whole being is being stabbed to death in every second. Why are we always like this? Why does she have to leave whenever we have big issues? Well fine, I know that all of these are just too much for her, but I really believe that we can patch things up by ourselves. After all, this is between us and we’re the only ones who can solve it.

Yesterday, almost the whole YG family has talked to me about my recent problem and I’m so thankful to them because they’ve enlightened me in one way or another. The Big Bang studio became a “guidance office” for almost all the hyungs and even the noonas stop by to talk me out of misery. I feel like I’m the most problematic kid in school who needs right guidance and a lot of advices.

“Aigoo…they’re coming one after another” Youngbae said upon seeing Kush hyung walking in.

“OH! Dong wook talked to you as well?” he asked and settled on the couch.

I gave a nod and he chuckled “Seems like this day is GD day….all of us are going to be your light!” he laughed.

It all started with Ji eun noona who dropped by the building just to see me then after her, Se7en hyung came and we talked about marriage and all its craziness. According to him, handling a relationship is not easy most especially when you’re already married. He has his own fair share of stupid moments as well and he just let things go by for he knows that Han byul noona will soon give in and cool down. How I wish my wife is the same as his wife.

“Jiyong…it happens…a lot of married men screws up…yes…it’s hard to make things straight again…but…all you can do is be patient…and you’ll see…your wife will be running in your arms in no time” he said.

I sighed heavily “But with how things are going now…I don’t think Ishi would even bend….she’s not believing whatever I say and her mind is so close as well…she’s hopeless and I am too” I told him and he shook his head.

“No…you’re not hopeless…trust me…this can still be fixed…alright…Ishi is a tough one…but even the toughies bend...she just needs time”

Time? I’ve always given her time whenever she asks for it. When she asked for space, I gave it to her without second thoughts. Now, I don’t want to give it to her because I have a feeling that we’ll not be able to patch things up anymore. I don’t want to wait for another month just to get everything back to normal again. I don’t even know if we can still be fixed. She always runs from problems and I know so well that no matter where she runs, she’ll just end up running into herself. Not only that, I’m going to chase her everywhere till she gets tired and comes back to me again.

“Look Jiyong…this is a big one…you did screw up…but…this is not the end of it…you are fighting for your family….but I guess…it’s you are not the problem here…it’s already Ishi….she has to open her mind to be able to at least give you time to explain…don’t worry…she’ll soon realize everything” Kush hyung said.

“No hyung…I’m the problem here…if I didn’t let my anger take over me…all of this won’t happen…I’m really stupid...I think…even dumb men wouldn’t tell their wives that they’re cheating…worst is…mine is not true at all...unfortunately…my wife believed it… and now…I’m facing big waves of pain and suffering” I don’t even know if blaming myself is right, but this is what I really think and feel.

Kush hyung stared at me for some time then smirked “You are an for admitting that you are stupid…but yeah…you really are….next time…if you don’t want to be fried by your own grease…think before you speak…don’t let your anger take over coz it’ll surely make things for you”

All of their words are noted in my head. Taking advices is easy, but doing them is not.

I had an hour by myself and after that, people keeps pouring in again. I don’t know, but it seems like they’ve planned this for Jinu hyung, Choice hyung, Jae wook hyung, Teddy hyung and even Lydia dropped by just