“An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby’s birth and whispered as she closed the book, “too beautiful for Earth”

There are times in your life wherein you just don’t know what to do anymore, but you don’t have a choice but to go forward. I don’t know if things are meant to really be this ironic. A few days ago, happiness embraced us to the core and now, sadness and dread is enveloping us. Now I can say that life does sometimes and when it does, it’ll push you to the edge of insanity like what it’s doing to me now.

“Appa! Appa!” Athena came in the studio, panicking.

“Why Munchkin? What’s the matter?” I asked worriedly as she catches her breath.

“Omma…she’s screaming in pain again” she answered and I rushed out of the studio right away.

We got back from Ishi’s Asian tour three days ago and ever since that day, things got so twisted and totally messed already. My wife is suffering from extreme pain because of her pregnancy and here I am, trying to understand her. I don’t know, but her foolishness is once again kicking in and no matter how much I want to tell her how stupid she is for taking the pain like she’s not hurting at all, I can’t even open my mouth for I know that it’ll hurt her.

“Baby” I scooped her up from the floor where she’s all curled while screaming.

She’s crying so hard and from the way she sounds, I know and I can feel that she’s in deep pain “AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!” she held on to me tightly and squeezed my arm.

“Baby….calm down…alright…stop now” I hugged her tightly, hoping for her pain to stop already.

If only I can take her pain away. There are times wherein I tell God to just let me suffer instead of my wife. I know and I can fully understand that Ishi is just being a mother to our baby. Of course, she will not let it go because it’s so special to her and I feel the same way too, but if this continues, it’s not just our baby who will die, Ishi will do too.

“Appa…what is happening? Why is Omma crying again?” Athena asked while looking at us.

“Munchkin…can you call Halmeoni or Aunt Dami for Appa…please?” I told her and she rushed to get my phone on the table.

“What will I tell them?” she asked while dialing the number.

“Tell them to come here…as soon as possible” I answered.

“AAAAAAAHHHH!”

“Baby….I want you to breathe...don’t cry…please” I almost lost it. I don’t know what to do anymore. All I want is for her to stop crying.

Ishi finally stopped after minutes of dread but I know that the pain is still there. She keeps on sobbing and her weak body is really taking a toll on me. I can’t take seeing my wife in this state. If only I can run away from reality for just a short time, I will. But then again, I can’t leave her coz I know that she needs me the most now.

“She’s already sleeping…c’mon now Munchkin” I told Athena who is watching her mother and placed Ishi’s head on the pillow and kissed her forehead.

In all fairness to our daughter, she’s taking everything maturely. She asks questions about what’s going on but she’s all good with whatever answer we tell her. Athena knows that something is not going right and she’s being so helpful in taking care of Ishi. My little girl stays with my wife whenever I’m recording and she’ll be the one giving her water whenever she asks for it. I don’t know how Athena does it, but she’s really strong and so positive.

“Appa” Athena called while we’re eating lunch.

“Mmmm?” I wiped with my thumb and it made her smile.

“Why is Omma crying always? And is she really sick?” she asked with her most innocent face.

“Munchkin…Omma is sick…but it’s nothing serious…she cries because there are times wherein she’s feeling so much pain…but…everything’s cool…don’t worry about it too much” I lied.

I hate lying to my daughter, but telling her the truth will just frighten the hell out of her. She’s too young to even understand what’s happening. I don’t want her to think that there’s a possibility for her to lose her mother coz I know that once that thought entered her head, it will surely ruin her and I will never let that happen.

Omma, Appa and Dami-noona came after an hour or two and I can’t thank them enough for they are also helping me with Ishi all this time. My family was really devastated upon hearing the news and together with all our closest friends, they are saying that Ishi should just give the baby up. Thing is, she won’t listen to any of us.

“How is she Jiyong-ah?” Omma asked upon seeing me.

“She’s in bad shape” I answered and she sighed heavily.

Noona peeked in our room to check on Ishi, then turned to look at me “Jiyong…this can’t go on…it’s too much already” she said and I pulled her for a hug.

“I know…but…I can’t do anything” I told her and she cradled my face with her hands.

“You can do it Jiyong…you and Ishi will surpass this” she said and I don’t even know if I have to believe her.

My mind is telling me to just do whatever I want and not listen to my wife anymore, but my heart is telling me that Ishi’s say on this really matters for I don’t have the right to decide for the both of us. We are a team and we should be supporting each other even in times like this.

“Has she eaten yet?” Omma asked while my wife’s hair.

“She hasn’t…actually…she doesn’t wanna get up from bed…she’s too weak for that…one move and she’s in pain once again” I told them and I can see pain in my mother’s eyes.

“Have you talked to her friends already? Are they going to talk her out of this?” Appa asked and I nod.

“They already did that Appa…as a matter of fact…they go here every day just to talk to her but it’s not working at all” I answered and he sighed.

Believe it or not, even Nichkhun who has been so distant to her these past few years went here twice already just to talk to her. That guy and I are still awkward to each other but because I know that he can help me convince Ishi to let go of the baby, I’m the awkwardness up and welcomed him in my home.

“Sunbaenim…she’s hopeless…I know Ishi…she’s not the kind of woman who will listen to anybody or anyone once she have decided on something already” he told me the moment he went out of our room.

“I know that” I said and he held my shoulder.

“You can make her bend…I trust you…I know that you can talk her out of this” he said and I smirked.

“I don’t know…but…I’ll try…anyway…thank you” I told him and he smiled.

“This is nothing compared to the pain that I gave you and Ishi years ago…always remember that I’m here to help…just call me” he said.

We may not be the best of friends, but we can be one just for Ishi’s sake. I know that what happened to the three of us in the past is not yet complet