“A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband”

“This isn’t right anymore….a week of not seeing and talking to him is just too much already” I opened my eyes and sat up.

Tears flowed down my cheeks automatically as I stare at my sleeping daughter who is also messed up with our current situation. Athena can’t stop from asking about G-dragon and it’s always my in-laws who get to enlighten her. She asks me about it once in a while and my answer will always be the same.

“Appa is busy with work…he wants us to stay here with Halmeoni and Harabeoji for a while” I know that lying to her is the biggest mistake that I’ve ever done, but I don’t have a choice. Lying is the only way to protect her poor heart from breaking.

Waking up is so hard. I feel like I’m just getting up every morning because I have to and I need to. If it weren’t for my daughter, I would rather sleep till things get better. Are things still going to get better? I don’t know, but I have a feeling that we’re drifting apart, fast that we can’t even get a grip on it. Our relationship is like an avalanche that you can’t stop.

“Omma” Athena’s eyes got wide the moment she saw me staring at her while crying.

She always sees me in this state and I’ll always tell her that it’s nothing. I know that my daughter is not stupid and she can feel that something is going on. Thing is, I’m really trying hard to make things as normal as it was before and I’m praying that she won’t find out the truth.

“You’re always crying Omma” she sat up and wiped my tears “I guess…you’re missing Appa so much” she gave out a pout then hugged me “It’s alright Omma…according to Aunt Dami…Appa will be here soon”

How I wish that’s true. Honestly, I really don’t know what’s going to happen to us after this. Of course, we can’t stay here forever even if Appa and Omma are fine with it. As a matter of fact, I’m thinking of moving out already coz I don’t want to be a burden to them anymore. They are the ones taking care of Athena the most and they’re not even letting me do the chores. All I do here is cry, eat and sleep.

Athena crawled to the side drawer and grabbed my phone “Here Omma” she handed it to me “It’s Appa…talk to him…I know that he’s the only one who can make you stop from crying” she said and I gave the phone back to her.

“I’m fine beautiful…it’s so early to call Appa” I told her.

“Hello? Munchkin? Hello?” G-dragon’s voice shocked me. My body went cold, while my heart jumped.

I haven’t talked to him for a week now and hearing his voice is making me miss him more.

“Munchkin? Hello? Are you there?”

 Athena sighed and shook her head “Appa?” she said while staring at me.

“Oh! Why did you call?” he asked.

“Omma is crying again….she’s missing you badly…but….it seems like she doesn’t wanna talk to you” she answered and all I can do is sigh.

Athena’s mouth can’t be stopped and she will really say whatever is in her mind. She started telling her father about my crying moments and just by hearing my husband’s voice, I can tell that he’s worried about me.

“Where is she?” he asked and the moment I heard this, I shook my head at Athena right away.

“I’m not here” I mouthed at her but she just rolled her eyes at me.

“She’s here beside me Appa” as expected, my lovely daughter won’t listen to me.

“Can she hear me?” he asked and I sighed heavily.

Of course I can hear him! He’s on speaker! “Yeah Appa…she can” Athena answered and gave her most killer smile.

I’m not yet ready to talk to G-dragon. I know that it’s a bit immature of me to not even talk to him at all, but I still can’t take what he’s done to me. I’m not even in the process of forgiving him yet.

“Can you give the phone to her?”

Oh please! I don’t want to spoil my already crappy morning! What does he want from me? I’ve already said what I want to say and I’ve got nothing more to add. I’m not ready to hear whatever he says for I don’t believe him at all anymore.

Athena placed the phone beside me and crawled out of bed “I’ll leave you alone….talk to Appa…alright?” she said and walked out.

Minutes passed by and I’m not even saying a word or making any noise. G-dragon is patiently waiting for me to say something and I’m just waiting for him to hang up.

“Ishi” he called and I just stared at the phone beside me.

“Baby…please come back to me already…I’m missing you and Athena badly and if you only know how I long for you…I know that things are still twisted and messy….but please…let’s fix things here….I want you here already….I’m begging you Ishi…come back to me now” his voice is cracking and he’s just a few inches away from breaking down. My heart is not made of steel and I feel what he feels as well. But then again, I can’t just forget what he did and act like nothing happened. I can’t go back to him and be the wife that I was before after all this. I don’t even know if I can still look a