“Life is filled with unanswered questions, but it is the courage to seek those answers that continues to give meaning to life. You can spend your life wallowing in despair, wondering why you were the one who was led towards the road strewn with pain, or you can be grateful that you are strong enough to survive it”

There are times when really happens and it can scare the hell out of you. And all you can do is pray and hold on to that thin line of hope that everything is gonna be fine.

I had a blast yesterday. I worked my off on the runway, my husband is here and we were able to get some issues in our relationship straight. I don’t know how we do it, but we really have this thing about fixing problems in just one sitting. It’s all good though. At least we don’t run away or brush it off. We face our problems and try to deal with it even if we’re not sure where it’s heading.

All I can say is G-dragon really is selfless. His love for me is over the top that he’s ready to give in to me in every possible way. But then again, I’m not in the position to take advantage of it. After we talked last night, I’ve sworn to myself that I will never hold him by the neck once again. And I will let him do things his way. After all, he’s good in decision making and if ever he fails, we can always turn things around.

I woke up with a crappy feeling once again, but this time, it’s double the crap. I feel dizzy and my morning sickness is getting the best of me. Oh well, this is all part of being pregnant and I don’t have a choice but to go with it. After all, what’s a few months of hardship when after all this I’d be having my baby out already.

“NO” I looked down and saw blood on my underwear.

“No…this is not what you think it is Ishi...no…it’s not” I keep on repeating.

What the hell is going on? Why am I bleeding? Is this the end of my wonderful dream? Is our little dragon saying goodbye to me? NO! It just can’t be!

“OPPA! OPPA! OPPA!” I called desperately while crying my heart out already.

I don’t know what’s up with my husband, but he’s not like before who wakes up right away. I’m screaming for dear life and he’s still in dreamland.

“OPPA! OPPA!” I continued calling with my soul out of my body.

If this is the end, I don’t know what will happen to me. I can’t even imagine what I’ll be like if my baby goes away just like this.

“What? What’s happening?” he asked frantically and I just can’t find the will to tell him that I’m bleeding.

“What?” he asked and came near me.

“Blood” I answered, almost in a whisper.

“Huh?” he looked down and gasped upon seeing it.

“Wait ….alright….hmmm…I’ll bring you to the hospital now” he is frantic and totally lost already.

I can see in my husband’s eyes that he is also thinking what I’m thinking and we’re both scared of what might happen. I know that I should’ve done something right away, but who can even think straight in times like this?

G-dragon carried me to the car. We’re both in our PJ’s and we don’t care whether we look like coz all we want is for our baby to be safe. Honestly, this is the first time that I prayed so much to the point that I even called all the saints in heaven just to save our baby. We can’t lose it for we have waited for this moment for a long time.

None of us are talking on our way to the hospital. Our minds are off somewhere and you can clearly see in our faces that we are devastated and in pure misery already.

“I’m sorry Oppa” I said all of a sudden.

“Baby” he hold my hand and kissed it “Why are you saying sorry to me?” he asked and I started crying.

“Because of this” I answered and he glanced at me.

“You did nothing wrong…alright…and our baby is going to be fine” he comforted me but it’s not enough.

The moment we arrived at the hospital, I was wheeled in the emergency room right away. I keep on crying for I’m scared and my husband is not allowed inside of the room as well. I’m in need of support and here I am, alone with all these nurses and doctor.

I guess I passed out coz when I woke up, I’m already in a different room. My head is spinning and all I can think of is my baby. Tears started rolling down my cheeks once again for my heart is so heavy.

“Baby” G-dragon called and rushed to me.

“Oppa…what happened? How’s our baby?” I asked right away and he just stared at me.

“WHAT? TELL ME!” I exclaimed and he hugged me tightly.

“Oppa…please” I said and cried harder.

“ssshhh….don’t cry anymore” he said and looked straight into my eyes.

“What? How’s our baby?” I asked impatiently and he kissed my forehead.

“The baby’s fine…there’s nothing to worry about” he answered and I looked at him intently, figuring out if he’s lying.

He looks like he’s telling the truth. Thing is, a part of me is not believing him. I don’t know, but maybe I’m just too wrecked as of the moment. I should just be happy because our baby is fine, even though I still have lot of questions in mind like, what just happened? Why did I bleed awhile ago?

After a few minutes, the doctor came and checked me again. He also explained to me what happened and from there, I was relieved.

“Early pregnancy spotting is just normal….one reason to it is if you’re still ually active… it’s all good…but of course…you have to be careful…as a matter of fact…the fetus is growing well…thing is…you need to rest because you’re fatigued and anemic” the doctor said and I sighed in relief.

It seems like during pregnancy is really not for us. I’m just so thankful because our little dragon is still in its place and is growing well too. As for me, I quite expected the doctor to tell me to rest. Good thing he’s not asking for a strict bed rest coz I’m going wild if that happens.

“Oh gosh trouble twin!” Eun hee came rushing in the room and hugged me right away.

“I’m fine…we’re fine…there’s nothing to worry about anymore” I comforted her for she’s crying buckets already.

“Tinky…are you sure?” Dong min asked and I pulled him for a hug.

“I’m all good” I told him and wiped his tears.

“We are so scared…did you know that after we received Jiyong’s message...we nearly asked the driver to make the car fly? This is so crazy!” Eon said, making me laugh big time.

“What did the doctor say? Why did she bleed?” Eun hee asked and I sighed.

“Mouse…don’t tell me you haven’t experienced this when you’re pregnant” I said and she shook her head.

“I haven’t” she said and I looked at her in disbelief.

“Guys…you’re different persons…your bodies are not the same” Dong min said and I saw G-dragon nod in agreement.

“Yeah…but…why did this woman bleed?” Eon asked and G-dragon cleared his throat.

“The doctor said that it’s normal...and it usually happens after having ual ” he answered and the three have this unexplainable smiles plastered on their faces.

“Seriously….you guys are so wild” Dong min said and I pushed him away from me playfully.

“So…this happened because you had last night” Eun hee said and I gave her a nod.

“Oh gosh!” Eon said and laughed hard.

“Look guys…I know that this is really hilarious…but