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It had been eight months. Siwon wasn’t sure why he was still going on with his life. “It’s good to see you working again,” his colleague told him with a sincere smile and Siwon smiled back, though not as sincerely.

“Thanks,” Siwon said as they walked to their offices.

After a short greeting, Siwon finally went into his office, checking the list of patients he had waiting for the morning. He took a quick look at his watch and sighed deeply, sitting down and pressing a button from his phone to tell the receptionist to make his first patient come in.

It was afternoon when finally Siwon decided to leave the hospital and go home. And when he meant home, he meant go to Kyuhyun’s and Hyukjae’s house to check on Kyuhyun’s health.

“Thanks lord you’re here,” Heechul sighed deeply as soon as she saw Siwon coming in. “Please tell him to get up and walk around to get some fresh air.”

Kyuhyun was laying down, sprawled all over his bed. “I went to work, I got fresh air there,” he complained.

Heechul frowned. “That’s not going out to get fresh air, Kyuhyun,” she retorted, turning towards Siwon. “Please?”

Siwon sighed. “Go out to get fresh air, Kyuhyun,” he said as he sprawled down by Kyuhyun’s side.

Heechul groaned frustrated. “Whatever,” she sighed. “There’s food in the kitchen and you better eat it all for tomorrow or I’ll kick your asses and you know I have no mercy on you.”

And she was right, because the last time they didn’t do what she told them to and she got mad, she literally kicked their and made them run five kilometers as a punishment.

“We’ll eat it,” Siwon said, sighing deeply as he closed his eyes tiredly.

After a few minutes of Heechul scolding them, she went out from the house and they stayed in silence for the entire afternoon. “Let’s eat,” Siwon finally said and Kyuhyun nodded. None of them could sleep but at least they were eating proper food.

“Your free day is tomorrow, right?” Siwon asked as he ate slowly.

Kyuhyun hummed. “I’ll work here.”

“You should go out and walk at least for some minutes,” Siwon sighed deeply. “You know, so your skin remembers what sunlight is.”

Kyuhyun groaned. “I really don’t want to go out.”

Siwon looked up at Kyuhyun. “Don’t make me take extreme precautions, Kyuhyun.”

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes and stuffed his mouth to speak, mumbling lowly. “I won’t go out.”

“Either you go out for at least an hour, or I’ll send an order of hospitalization, as your doctor, and forced you to go out being guided by a nurse, you decide,” Siwon threatened.

Kyuhyun looked up and munched all the food in his mouth, frowning slightly. “That’s low.”

“I still get what I want,” Siwon chuckled, sighing when he was done with his food. “Good thing you decided already.”

Kyuhyun groaned, finally swallowing his food. “Idiot.”

Siwon smiled softly. “Look who’s talking.”

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It was barely eleven in the morning and Kyuhyun was wandering around the park Hyukjae and him used to go before. He sighed deeply as he saw the kids playing around and he smiled softly, remembering how Hyukjae used to play with them.

He sat down for a minute and then stood up. He wasn’t in the food to go around and he groaned as the sunlight hit his skin, rolling his eyes as he remembered Siwon telling him that’s what he needed. “I’ll get melanoma like this,” he sighed, walking to a bench under the shadow of a tree instead.

He really had nothing to do but stay there. He took out his cell phone and checked his mail. There were reports of private investigators that he had paid to look for Hyukjae but everyone lost the trace in a different way and none of the coincide.

Director Jung had confessed he planned the kidnapping, but he also confessed he had a partner in crime.

Even when they had tried making him confess further, the other would just say he couldn’t. Kyuhyun sighed. He had read the last e-mail at least ten times because he still couldn’t believe no one knew anything about Hyukjae.

“The good news is,” one of the investigators had told him. “That we didn’t find a body either.”

Kyuhyun sighed. That was the good news. He smiled softly. Hyukjae was free, at least. He was alive and the only hope of Kyuhyun seeing his wife again was what kept him going on.

His cell phone went off and Kyuhyun looked at the screen. It was Seohyun and he raised his eyebrow. “What?” he answered coldly.

“That’s not the best way to treat your future wife, Kyuhyun,” Seohyun said from the other line.

Kyuhyun sighed tiredly, closing his eyes and massaging the bridge of his nose. “Seohyun, whatever you want, just say it. I’m not in the mood to hear your nagging.”

Seohyun scoffed from the other line. “You’re an , Kyuhyun,” she said. “Do you know where I am?”

Kyuhyun let his body rest against the bench. “I don’t care where you are, Seohyun. I’ll hang up now-”

“I’m in the hospital,” Seohyun was quick to announce. “I was hospitalized for an internal hemorrhage,” she said. “After I miscarriage your baby, remember?”

Kyuhyun sighed deeply, opening his eyes. “Seohyun,” he called. “I don’t know how it’s possible for you to not understand what’s going on,” he looked down at his lap. “But I really don’t care about you. Please stop calling me.”

He didn’t wait for an answer and hung up, taking out the battery of his phone so no one would bother him anymore.

He stood there for a few minutes, resting his back against the bench to look up. He smiled softly, enjoying how the light filtered through the leaves of the tree. Closing his eyes again, Kyuhyun sighed. He didn’t know why he didn’t do it before; coming out and take a deep breath from everything.

Kyuhyun smiled softly. It would be great if I were taking your hand right now. He chuckled, closing his eyes to imagine Hyukjae’s soft smile.

He missed him.

He missed his wife so much that the thought of not being able to see him ever again made him feel the tears already forming in his eyes.

Kyuhyun was fine before meeting Hyukjae.

But definitely not after. Who was going to teach him how to live now?

Letting out a loud sigh, and closing his eyes to calm down, he stayed still. He could feel his body relaxing and his consciousness leaving his body.

It had been so long since the last time he had slept without the help of a pill, that he missed the calm and relaxing sensation that ran through his body.

Kyuhyun wasn’t sure if he slept or not. Or if he was half asleep or for how long exactly. He opened his eyes, looking at the park and seeing it was slightly crowded. He looked at his wristwatch and chuckled.

It was already late and he had promised Siwon to eat with him. He had to promise because if they didn’t, neither of them would survive alone. He understood that he was in a depression state, but he didn’t know how to go out from him. He didn’t know if he could smile as he used to and he was sure he would always miss Hyukjae. “Where are you?” he whispered softly, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees and his head in between his palms.

He was smiling, because his mind was trying to suppress the sudden urge to cry in public. He couldn’t get any more pathetic than he was already.

He stood up when the sun was hiding. It wasn’t dark and he still had a couple of hours of daylight. Siwon would get mad for going too late but Kyuhyun was sure he wouldn’t say anything because at least he got the sunlight he supposedly needed.

Saving the pieces of his cell phone into his pocket, Kyuhyun stood up, the summer heat was driving him insane and he just wanted to come home and read a book as Hyukjae caressed his hair.

He smiled at the thought.

Or maybe hug each other tightly as they swayed their bodies to Hyukjae’s favorite song.

He smiled wider.

He knew he was going crazy, but he didn’t care anymore. “Sir! Please wait!”

Kyuhyun looked to a nurse almost running in a different direction of him and he shrugged. He really wasn’t in the mood to care for anyone else but himself and Hyukjae.

Kyuhyun groaned for himself as he turned around again to see if the nurse had gotten to the person she wanted to be with and he saw the frame of a small body, being dragged away by the nurse.

His heart was pounding dangerously harsh against his chest. He wasn’t breathing anymore. He forgot how to. Hyukjae?

Kyuhyun’s body was trembling. He couldn’t even see the face of the male that was wearing white hospital’s clothes. He couldn’t even see his entire body even. Hyukjae?!

He had had hallucinations before, and he was hospitalized because of that.

But Kyuhyun had never imagined Hyukjae in a white suit with a nurse dragging him away.

Walking seemed like a difficult task for Kyuhyun to do. He finally got his foot to give a small step ahead and he could feel his knees giving up at the sudden anxiousness that was invading his body. “H-Hyukjae…,” he intended to scream, but his voice only allowed him to whisper his lover’s name slowly. “Hyukjae?” he finally called, but they were already too far from him.

He had gone through different embarrassing situations in which he confuses people with Hyukjae in the streets, but he really couldn’t care less about that. If he had a chance, even the slightest of it, that it was his wife, he would take the risk no matter what and he was sure Siwon shared his ideology since the taller had gone through the same multiple times already.

Kyuhyun’s legs were finally responding and he felt his jump almost jumping out from his chest It was painful, the way it hit against his ribs and how it pressed against his lungs to leave him without breathing.

“Hyukjae?!” he finally screamed, but he only got the nurse to turn around, along with some others passerby that didn’t even looked at him confused and just ignored the man calling for someone.

The nurse looked at him for some seconds before gasping, realizing that the male she was taking back from his daily walk was drifting away again.

Kyuhyun’s body was trembling and he gave a few steps towards them, wanting to run but not being able to because he didn’t know how to control them anymore. It took a huge amount of energy for Kyuhyun to finally give faster steps and jog towards the couple. “Hyukjae!”

The fact that the male wasn’t turning around made Kyuhyun feel terrified. How much he wished it was Hyukjae…

“Hyuk! Hyukjae!” He screamed louder, finally reaching the couple, standing in front of the male to look at him firmly, making the nurse and him to stop abruptly.

“Sir! Oh please! You scared me!” the nurse exclaimed, placing a hand over her chest as she breathed in and out deeply.

The skin was paler than he remembered, the eyes were still chocolate brown though they didn’t shine as beautifully as before, they were rather sad and empty, so empty that it sent shivers through all Kyuhyun’s body. He was thin, so thin that Kyuhyun thought he would break. His face was saying nothing, he wasn’t even looking back at him.

He looked different, so different from Hyukjae.

Yet, Kyuhyun couldn’t help but feel his tears run down his eyes in an instant, his legs dumb and his arms trembling. His heart stopped for a second and his abdomen was a complete parade of knots and ticklish sensations.

Yes, it looked different, but Kyuhyun was sure it was Hyukjae.

It took Kyuhyun less than a second to wrap his arms around the body in front of him and he closed his eyes tightly, hiding his face against the smaller’s neck, crying loudly. “Oh Hyukjae… I missed you so much…”

Kyuhyun was hugging the body so tightly and his body was so exhausted from months already that as soon as he felt a great relief, he fainted, letting his body fall on top of the smaller’s male.

If Kyuhyun was wrong guessing that person as Hyukjae, he wouldn’t know.

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A/N: Angsty + mpreg requested fic~