Tried To Walk - B1A4

Narrator's POV

She picked at the microscopic dent on the window, her fingers picking at the glass -- like what children do with scabs -- leaving her fingernails ragged at the edges. When she noticed this, however, Min Yu filed her nails with her teeth before wiping her saliva off her fingers with her shirt. The girl had been repeating the same process over and over for the last hour.

And it wasn't as if she had something better to do. An irritated feeling just spiraled up her spine as her gaze locked in on the small dent. She would have ignored it, perhaps, if only her window wasn't overlooking the night view, making it look as if the Namsan tower was starting to chip off at one edge. Min Yu would have just walked right past it, but she had nothing better to do.

The door creaked open wider -- and wider, in the sense that it had been open before, but more so now. It was Donghae's orders for her to keep the door at least slightly open. He watched too many slipped-and-fell-on-the-bathroom-floor-then-lost-the-baby dramas. But she shrugged, couldn't bring herself to blame him. As always.

There was a hand atop her head, caressing down to her chin. "Let's eat dinner together," Donghae muttered, his gaze probing her face for any clue. She just shrugged and said nothing, causing Donghae to sprawl down on the floor next to her and stare out the window. "Let's go visit the guys over at the dorm tomorrow," he offered strategically.

And he almost sighed in relief as she nodded, although the air was dead and tension hung heavily in the atmosphere. Donghae leaned his cheek softly on her shoulder. "Why are you here, anyway? It's warmer in our room than here," he commented loudly, letting his eyes scan the area before finally resting on the tattered book near the glass of water on the bedside table.

"Do you want to sleep here?" The man turned to her, who was still busy -- not to mention uselessly -- picking at the glass. "Yes," Min Yu replied softly, as if every word she said was equal to another stab in her chest. "Should I get our blanket together with our pillows?" he offered once again, and she took close notice of how everything to him was theirs and not just his.

He was about to stand up and do so when she held him by the forearm. Min Yu looked out the window, past the dent on the glass. "You go sleep there and I'll go sleep here, okay?" She clearly differentiated him from herself. "Why? I-is something wrong?" Donghae stammered, his voice shamelessly revealing his uncertainty. He didn't like the sound of how this was going.

Min Yu flashed him a tight smile. "Nothing's wrong, Donghae." She maintained her gaze out the window as the smile faded as quickly as it came. "It's just that...you know...I might bleed again or something." The girl looked down, examining the ragged edges of her fingernail then started filing it using her teeth. Donghae pried her hand away from gently.

"I won't mind the least bit even if you pee on the bed," he declared proudly, earning him her laugh deservingly. He put his arm around her and planted a kiss on her cheek. Trying not to let him feel the entire burden she was carrying, Min Yu kept her attention to her nails. "Sorry I ruined your birthday," she whispered faintly, and it wasn't as if she had forgotten the occasion.

He smiled against her cheek. "People over 30 years old don't celebrate birthdays anymore," he stated. And this time, her grin lasted longer than usual, and it didn't feel too forced nor needed too much effort. He buried his face on her hair before breathing deeply -- wondering how authors describe girls' hair to smell like flowers and honey even when Min Yu's didn't really smell like anything -- but he loved her just as equally as men in books do.

"Come, yeobo~" Donghae stood up, holding his hand out for her to reach, "Let's go eat with ahjumma." She pulled at his arm, while trying to maintain her balance at the same time. She had grown weaker over the course of five months and it didn't help her self-esteem in the least bit. Even standing up took its toll on her and after noticing so, he paused.

Her breathing time took longer than usual. "Everything alright?" he asked, brushing his thumb over her colorless lips as she chomped down on them harshly. "Yeah, it's just..." Min Yu took a deep breath and supported the lower region of her back with her own hand. When Donghae waited for her to continue, she the insides of her cheeks before motioning back to the door. "Zero, don't worry," she assured him, although it felt like her insides were engulfed in flames of burning pain.

They both reached the hallway leading to the staircase. The bright light from downstairs in the living room was enough to guide them out of the guest room and out into the hallway, even down the stairs. But even so, Min Yu's grip on his arm tightened. "Please turn the lights on," she murmured softly, feeling more and more unsteady by the second.

The darkness felt overwhelming again, and fear was gaining the upper hand as the feeling crept up. "Please turn the lights on, Donghae," Min Yu repeated, terrified. She chewed on her bottom lip and dug her nails down his skin. "Hey...hey." He called out to her, holding her face with his hands and trying his best to calm her down.

"Turn the lights on, please," she whined, giving herself all the privileges and excuses that came with the uncertainty. But she cried anyway, feeling the hot tears spill down her cheeks. "There's light, yeobo," Donghae responded, but he wanted to take back his words after seeing the effects of his statement on her. Min Yu blinked and scratched and rubbed her eyes multiple times, but was, unfortunately, unsuccessful.

"Why can't I see anything?" Min Yu finally blurted out, her hands searching and reaching out to feel -- for her sense of touch to replace her sense of sight. Donghae, seeing her pitiful state, broke out into tears silently before pulling her in his embrace, keeping in mind that he needed to be strong for her. "Donghae, why can't I see anything?" she asked weakly.

He grabbed her hand and led her to their bedroom, holding her tight as they both lay on the bed. The man pressed her head against his chest while firmly holding her hand. "We'll go see an optometrist tomorrow and see what's happening, okay?" he mumbled calmly, like a sleep-inducing lullaby. "Nothing's wrong with you, yeobo. Everything's fine," he stated repeatedly. "Everything will be alright."

--

"RISE AND SHINE, YOU SINGLE AND FOREVER ALONE AHJUSSI! Min Yu and Donghae will be here later so it's time to prepare breakfast and food because I don't want them to get hungry, arasseo?" Heechul announced in a loud, ear-screeching voice while alternating knocks from one bedroom door to another. "Ugh, hyung. What time is it, anyhow?" Sungmin groaned from his room.

Heechul fumbled for the phone in his pocket before checking for the time. "Eight," he replied, earning him groans from the closed rooms surrounding him. "IF YOU AHJUSSIS DON'T OPEN YOUR DOORS IN THE NEXT MINUTE, YOU WILL NEVER GET MARRIED AFTER I CASTRATE YOU ALL!" He threatened and started counting. Sure enough, the doors opened one by one.

With a knowing smirk, the eldest descended the stairs contentedly and eager to get his duties done. "YOU SHOUT LIKE YOU'RE NOT AN AHJUSSI YOURSELF!" Kyuhyun yelled before locking his bedroom door securely to avoid Heechul's punishment. The maknae stayed inside just until all his hyungs were up and awake to come to his rescue.

The men went downstairs to the kitchen, anticipating what their hyung has prepared for their breakfast. And Eunhyuk gave the dining table two glances with his half-lidded eyes, just to make sure there was not a single plate arranged. He was about to turn to Ryeowook, the only man they could trust with meals, but the younger was already one step ahead.

Ryeowook nudged Heechul aside while trying to work as quickly as possible so as not to hear these men voice out their hunger.

"Kim Ryeowook, hurry up! I'm starving~"

"I wonder how we earn so much yet never thought of hiring our own cook."

"So this is how I'm going to die..."

"Bless us oh Lord and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ, our Lord. Amen."

All his exhaustion from their last night schedule and his being time-pressured caused Ryeowook to slam the frying pan on the sink. "If you guys are so hungry, why don't you cook for yourselves, then?" he yelled, causing the rest of the members sitting around the table to be silent. "Hyung, mianhae~" Kyuhyun murmured silently, knowing they had completely crossed the line.

Heechul smiled to himself while chopping onions. He gave Ryeowook a light pat on the shoulder, letting him know he was proud to see him stand up for himself. Meanwhile, the eldest's phone rang, causing for him to fumble for it with a free hand while the other held the knife. "Yeah?" he greeted, not even bothering to give the caller ID a quick glance.

"Hyung, it's Donghae," the caller replied bleakly.

"Yes, why?"

Donghae gave the hospital a good look around before replying. "I think we're going to be late by more or less an hour," he stated. Heechul, having his day started right, was luckily in a good mood. "Sure, no problem," he responded, almost enthusiastic with the fact that they were going to be late. "Okay," the younger sighed in relief after hanging up, glad Heechul didn't ask any more questions.

The man, meanwhile, stared at floor tiles, watching people's reflections on the reflective surface. After a few more minutes of waiting, the door beside him opened. "What did the doctor say?" Donghae stood up, his forearm immediately wounded around her waist for support. She smiled sadly. "Don't worry, the doctor assured me that there's a small possibility that the baby will be affected."

He continued walking, leading her out the door. "So, what is it exactly?" he asked, choosing his words carefully. "Nightblindness," Min Yu beamed the smile that didn't really mask her true emotions. When he didn't reply, she glanced at him briefly before she entered the passenger seat of his car. When he entered and sent the engine humming to life, only the ghost of the smile was left.

"You can drop me off at my parents' house later before it gets dark, unless you want me to go by myself. But it's fine with me. My mom will take care of me for the next few months...I guess." She looked down and, playing, intertwined her fingers together, locking them then releasing them afterwards. Donghae threw a questioning glance her way. "I mean, I don't want to be a burden to you or anything..."

"I'm not asking you to leave," he responded silently. "But--" "No more buts, okay? Please listen to me." He cut her off a little louder. Then he let out a sigh, keeping his gaze towards the road ahead. "You don't have to leave. I'm not asking you to because I don't want you to so you shouldn't." And she was silent for a while, contemplating what his words could have possibly meant.

He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes, realizing that it had been the most active conversation they have had for a while -- with her replying to his statements with more than just an "Okay" -- although Donghae didn't have to ask why this was so. "Okay," she muttered softly, confirming what he expects her reply is.

He lowered his hand from the steering wheel to hers, grabbing hold of her cold fingers. Min Yu repeatedly bit down on her tongue while looking out the car window, mentally practicing what she should say, but then realizing she shouldn't open even in the slightest bit. "Mind to tell me what you're thinking about?" Donghae asked curiously. But as usual, Min Yu just shrugged and said nothing.

Donghae's POV

My finger hasn't even reached the doorbell when Sungmin already opened the door, revealing six still-in-their-pajamas men, smiling from ear to ear like a child in the early morning of Christmas. "Aigoo~ You're so pregnant," Ryeowook commented, to which I just rolled my eyes. They act as if they don't visit her at home every weekend.

"Your stomach is as big as a globe," Kyuhyun observed, stepping backwards as Siwon guided Min Yu inside the house. And maybe as preoccupied as I was, only when Eunhyuk slammed the door in my face did I realize that I was left behind and, not to mention, ignored. "YA!!" I shouted from the porch, my fist slamming against the door soundly.

Looking almost shocked and surprised that I had been there all along, Heechul opened the door. "Ya, do you want to see the decorations in my room? I recently moved into Yesung hyung's room since he and his wife already moved into a new house," Ryeowook offered. But Min Yu's grip on Siwon's arm loosened as she spoke. "Let's just sit on the couch first. I feel tired."

Sungmin hurriedly went to the sofa and arranged the pillows to make space for her to sit on. "Do you want water, juice, coffee...?" Heechul asked from the kitchen. "She's not allowed to have coffee," I butted in from behind, taking a good look around the house that grew emptier and emptier as years pass. "B-but..." Kyuhyun stuttered. "But coffee is your life..."

"I know," Min Yu sighed apologetically. "Are you hungry?" This time, it was Siwon's turn to ask. "We prepared a lot of food because we knew you two were coming over," he stated overconfidently. "YES! YES! It was a team effort!" Eunhyuk exclaimed. "Oh really?" I arched an eyebrow questioningly after eyeing the food on the table. "How did you cook jjajangmyun, then?"

Eunhyuk gulped down before answering. "You...open the stove..." he said slowly. Min Yu stifled a laugh. "I forgot to do something in my room. Excuse me," Hyukjae left, ascending the stairs two steps at a time to avoid the embarrassment. "But really, though, I don't feel like eating anything right now," she muttered softly.

It was silent for a while, before Kyuhyun opened his mouth to voice out what we were all thinking of. "I'll go bully Hyukjae." He declared monotonously before running up the stairs. The rest of the boys followed, their feet trampling up the stairs noisily. When only the two of us were left, I put my arms around her from behind the sofa. "Everything fine?" I checked.

"Don't worry about me too much," she complained, prying my arms away. Min Yu stared at the television screen, as if watching something, even though it wasn't . She looked alright to me while I thought, nothing would happen to her even if I leave her for just a few minutes, right? And I shrugged before following the other members bantering upstairs.

Heechul's favorite handheld spatula scraped against the wooden door of Eunhyuk's bedroom. "YA! Stop scaring me!" he screamed from inside, earning him a loud fit of laughter from outside the hallway where the rest of us crowded. "Lee Hyukjae, open the door or else I'll tell on your mother..." Sungmin threatened. "YA! DON'T BRING MY MOTHER IN THE TOPIC!" Eunhyuk defended.

"THEN OPEN THE DOOR! Unless you're jerking yourself in there..." Kyuhyun yelled next. "YOU GUYS! What does my life have to do with a locked door?! I'm changing clothes, for heavens' sake!" Eunhyuk shouted, exasperated and breathless. "Thou shall not use the name of the Lord, your God, in vain," Siwon reminded, suddenly turning serious. Ah~ He and his religious self... "Yes, yes, whatever," and the door knob twisted open.

And we stormed in, almost causing a stampede in our haste -- and ruckus -- inside his tornado of a room. Clothes -- dirty and clean, I really can't distinguish which is which -- are scattered from the bed to the floor. A desk drawer is hanging open with papers stacked messily. The usual Hyukjae. "Leave now, leave now~" he began shooing us away, halfway through wearing his jeans up his hips.

Seeing nothing interesting after entering, we all decided to go back downstairs, with the others suddenly remembering their hunger. Siwon walked beside me, putting his arm around my shoulders and giving me a light pat on the back. "Let's talk about something later," he stated in a modulated voice and I would have guessed right then that it was something serious.

Nearing the staircase, there were faint sounds coming from the kitchen. With Min Yu missing from where I had left her on the couch, the mystery was already solved. I arrived by the doorframe first, leaning against it while watching her. "I thought you didn't feel like eating anything?" I asked with a hint of teasing. She ignored it, however, and kept digging at the bowl with her chopsticks. "I changed my mind," she muttered with mouth stuffed with food.

"Has she started liking some kind of food in particular?" Ryeowook asked, and I knew he would offer to buy slash cook anything she wants to eat for her. "She's crazy for apples," I exclaimed, glad to have wanted to bring her here for her to eat by herself without much prodding and nagging. Siwon pulled at my wrists, gesturing to go to the balcony. "Drink lots of water, okay?" I reminded Min Yu before walking away.

Min Yu's POV

"What do you think will it be?" Heechul tucked my hair behind my ear as he leaned against the edge of the dining table, watching me as I ate. "Will what be?" I asked back, putting a portion of kimchi in my mouth. "What do you think will your baby be?" he repeated, his eyes probing my bulging stomach. "I don't know," I swallowed. "A girl, maybe?"

"Aniyo!" Sungmin disagreed loudly. "I think it will be a boy. When will you know the gender?" he continued. "Next month. But either way, it's still my baby, so..." I shrugged. The four of us, including Ryeowook, chatted happily as we ate. After a while or so, a door slammed open, and at once, I had feared of being caught in the middle of these men's fist fights.

We froze, and there were angry and quick footsteps following the loud noise. Heechul came to his senses first, standing up to see what the problem was. "No, Siwon, calm down," Donghae's voice sounded from afar, but grew nearer and clearer. After seeing what was coming, Heechul hurried to where the two were. "Siwon, listen to hyung. Calm down." His voice was soothing.

"Let me go! I want to talk to her!" Siwon sounded in anguish. His hand appeared on the doorframe, before he came into full view. I was uncertain of how he looked at me dead straight in the eyes. What had Donghae told him? A tear rolled down his cheek and he didn't bother wiping it away. "WHEN WERE YOU PLANNING TO TELL US THAT YOU WERE GOING BLIND?"

Ryeowook and Sungmin, who were towering in front of me protectively, had their guards down immediately at Siwon's statement. Heechul's hand was hanging in midair, while I choked on the reality he had just screamed at my face. "Not really blind. Just...night blind. I mean, it's nothing-- it-- it's nothing, really," I tried explaining, understating the fact.

I stood up with great difficulty, once again the weight of my stomach being mourned over by my frailty. I opened my mouth to say something more, but Eunhyuk appeared from behind Donghae. "What's happening in here?" he asked unknowingly. "It's nothing, really," I turned back to Siwon and to the others who looked shaken with the sudden news. "Don't worry about me. Really."

"But it can lead to total blindness, right?" Donghae spoke up, his voice breaking slightly. And I also felt my strength retiring slowly. "CAN ANYBODY TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?" Eunhyuk shouted, turning to the other members, who began to cry noiselessly, for answers. "ANSWER ME!" Donghae shouted, and I felt like everything was leaving me all at once.

"WITH THAT NIGHTBLINDNESS, YOU CAN REMAIN BLIND PERMANENTLY, RIGHT?" Donghae repeated, causing a slight information overload to the newcomer Eunhyuk. One second, I was vision-able and laughing and declining to eat before he went upstairs. And now he's downstairs, I'm blind and out of the normal state of mind and in a mess. A shock, really.

Everyone looked at me, eagerly waiting for my response. I step backed, continuously and slowly, until my back hit the kitchen counter. "I made sure the baby will not be affected in any way," I tried, compromising my way out of the situation. Hyukjae shifted his gaze to me, eyeing me intently with his red-rimmed eyes. "Is it true? Is there a possibility you'll be...blind?" His voice whispered the last word.

I bit my lip hesitantly before looking away to stare at a blank wall. "Yes, there is," I confessed softly. The men exhaled the breaths they had been holding since minutes ago. Donghae's hand that was on Siwon's arm, the hand that acted to hold him back, slowly fell back to his side. Kyuhyun, standing silently by the corner, kept his lips pursed and his mouth shut all throughout.

Trying to lessen the damage I've caused, "I didn't mean nor want to be this... I...I didn't ask you to take care of me! You don't have to guide me or assist me everywhere I go! If I can control this...If I can try not to die, I would have. I'M TRYING! Every inch, every cell, every nerve in me just isn't cooperating and this is all just hopeless so I'm sorry..."

"Min Yu..." Donghae approached slowly, his arm immediately around my shoulders. When he did so, everyone seemed to be staring at my feet. And there it was, a small puddle of blood beginning to pool on the floor as it trickled down my legs. "Do you feel any pain?" he asked calmly, in contrary to the panic gleaming in every other member's eyes. I shook my head no.

"Let's bring her to the hospital right now," Heechul tried suggesting weakly, his eyes still focused on the blood by the kitchen floor. "We'll go back home," Donghae responded sternly, ducking down to place my legs up his other arm as he carried me towards his car parked outside. I began to feel the blood soaking on the hems of my dress, staining it red.

And home we went, even though it was just an hour after the sun set. I kept my face buried on his chest as we entered the house, with him still holding me up. I didn't look up, afraid to see the ahjumma's concerned expression. He brought me up to the bedroom, immediately stripping my clothes off and letting the warm tap water wash the blood away and down the drain.

After dressing me up in his clothes, Donghae tucked me in bed, making sure I was under the covers before he turned the lights off. And I didn't have to close my eyes because it was the same darkness I could see -- or could not, that is. He climbed up beside me, and there was a certain degree of exhaustion in his every movement.

"Sorry," he whispered faintly before he drifted off to sleep, his arms keeping me close. And I tried fumbling in the dark, reaching out to feel his face, feel how much sleep he had lacked and how much rest he had needed. Between the two of us, I felt the most sorry for him. I pulled myself away from him, desperately feeling my way out of the bedroom. Tonight, I'll be sleeping in the guest room.

-Late update :( Enjoy your Christmas vacations, everyone~ ^^ leave comments ☺ our Eunhyukkie wishes you a Merry Christmas