Please Don't Love - FT Island

Narrator's POV

Day 364

It was like a rollercoaster ride, her happiness was. Eunhyuk nearly gave a standing ovation as Donghae slowly came into view from the glass window. Heechul and Kyuhyun, though, were still unimpressed. Even so when Sun Hye came into view. Min Yu tried masking her disappointment with a forced smile. "At least he still came." She stated, trying to console herself and the others.

And Min Yu repeated the words to herself many times that moment as she looked down and felt embarrassed at the clothes she was wearing. "I'm wearing all-black because I figured I would have to go to a funeral if ever he didn't show up," Heechul announced proudly beside her. The girl snorted and playfully pushed him away before shifting comfortably in her seat.

She rested her chin upon her palm, watching as Donghae walked with his hair turning light brown as the setting sun strikes it with light. But she still couldn't forgive and forget everything he has said before. Then there he was, sitting beside her, smiling from ear to ear. "Hi," he greeted, working his way deep inside her brain. Even just muttering back made her stammer, so Min Yu never bothered. She was too inlove to say anything.

Scratch their names on the bark of an innocent tree, or maybe imagine dreamy scenarios in her head. Watch clouds as they shift and change shape, perhaps even draw their own constellations against the sky. All these Min Yu would have done with him if Donghae didn't have to face the other. He talked to Sun Hye as if they hadn't seen each other in a long time, as if it were just the two of them.

The girl wanted to flail her hands in front of his face. Donghae, are you there? Earth to Donghae, Min Yu to Donghae. I'm still here. I'm alive. I'm breathing and we're still together...or do you want it to be over? And then came the feeling again, the ripple of emptiness that makes her heart shudder in its coldness. It was bitter and sweet at the same time, but it was more of the former.

Whose fault was it again, she wasn't sure. "We should all go somewhere for vacation before Yesung gets married," suggested Sungmin. Snapping out of her thoughts, Min Yu nodded in agreement. "What did you make her drink, anyway, to make her say yes to your proposal?" demanded Kyuhyun, as everyone, though stiff, burst into laughter. "At least we love each other!" defended Yesung.

Eunhyuk had his usual gummy smile. "Eh~ you must have drugged her," he crumpled a napkin and tossed it towards the other's face. "I'm not like you, Lee Hyukjae," Yesung scoffed, making the younger shut up. Then they all grew silent as Donghae and Sun Hye, not having the least bit of care in the world, both chuckled at a funny thought one of them had said. Heechul rotated his jaw as he turned to a different direction, effort etched while he obviously tried not to get angry.

To decrease the tension heating up, the waiter, as if on cue, brought the appetizer on their table. Her face suddenly brightening up, Min Yu tried offering one to the man beside him. "Donghae," she hesitated, but went on. "I ordered this one be--" "No thanks, I'm not really hungry." He declined, interrupting her in midsentence, before engaging into another conversation with Sun Hye.

Looking embarrassed, Min Yu absent-mindedly picked on the food with her spoon. Once again, fulfilling his in-born mission to save the day, Siwon opened his mouth from across the table. "Give me some," he pleaded, despite the obvious fact that they were both served the same kind of food. But she obliged anyway, her burden slightly easing.

Was he trying to kill her with jealousy? If he was, it was surely working. Her teeth sank on her tongue, leaving another bitemark from all the things she had left unsaid. But perhaps, it was better this way. Love is steadily waning, resolution waxing. Indecision always took over in every situation, catching her off guard, off reason. There was a lump forming in Min Yu's throat and it stung her eyes.

She raked a hand through her hair and in defeat, turned to the Super Junior members who were all watching her intently. Ryeowook held on the tip of his straw and stirred his drink. "How's your father?" he asked out of nowhere. "He's already gone home, and has lots of pills and other medicine for maintenance," she nodded to herself in response. "Oh good," erupted from the group as they tried to look for another topic.

Min Yu turns to Donghae, who turns to Sun Hye, which makes the Super Junior members mad, and repeat. The cycle went on and on for the next few moments, on to hours. Everyone, including Min Yu, can't understand how the man she hates, the man she loves, and the man she can't live without is but one person. But that one person is with another girl, and that messed up everything.

Night had fallen over Seoul, and all the people sitting round the table wanted nothing more than to ease each other's sufferings except two. Siwon massaged his temples, like he was a grenade waiting to explode, and so did Heechul. Min Yu's time was up. She stood up and fixed her clothes, the ones she had especially chosen for the occasion, but no one noticed.

She ducked down beside Heechul to avoid everyone's eyes. And, with a flustered face, asked, "Appa, can I...borrow money? Please?" She bit on her lip afterwards, ashamed she even had to say those words. "What for?" asked Heechul while fumbling for his wallet. "I want to go home," answered Min Yu, her voice trembling almost as if she was about to cry.

Hearing her response, Heechul fished for his keys instead. "I'll drop you off," he offered. She shook her head no defiantly and pinned him down as she tugged on his forearm. "He'll notice if we both leave," she motioned to where Donghae was busy smiling and laughing with Sun Hye. The Super Junior member was about to protest, but he sighed at the sight in front of him.

He handed her his entire wallet. "Wha--" she opened to protest, but was immediately cut off. "Spend every cent you need," Heechul tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. When he didn't say anything more, Min Yu stood up and gave him back his money. "I won't be able to pay you back. I'll walk instead," she declared before leaving. All the members turned to look at her direction, except Donghae and Sun Hye, of course. They had a world of their own.

Pushing past the exit, Min Yu weaved her way out of the restaurant, off to look for more resolution. Sorrow wedged deep into her soul, struggling to accept the fact that she wasn't needed anymore, nor was she loved. Of course people believed, especially if words were exactly what they wanted to hear, and Min Yu wondered if Donghae ever meant all that he has said.

And that's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt and nurtured and remembered. She walked and walked aimlessly, blinded by the salty tears blurring her vision. Cars honked past and her feet were tired, yet she still wondered what might have gone wrong. And all the while, the blame was on her and herself alone. And her stomach was too weak for self-torture.

The grief was a dark haze hovering over her, filling her lungs as she took each breath with a heavy heart. A lungful of grief worsened her burden, not like she wasn't used to it. The feelings were surging upwards with no way of being held back. Love is giving someone the power to destroy your whole being, and he took everything for granted. The sad part was that she let him.

--

She didn't even say hello. "Min Yu, are you there?" Sungmin called out. Everyone had grave expressions plastered on their faces while Donghae remained wide-eyed. Heechul wanted to kick him under the table for being unaware, or maybe ignorant was the better word. "What?" she responded thickly, her voice roughly coming out from , husky and hoarse from crying.

Donghae opened his mouth to say something, but Eunhyuk already covered his mouth. The call was on loudspeaker and everyone was attentively listening. "Are you home yet?" asked Sungmin slowly and carefully. "No," replied Min Yu curtly. "Then where are you? Don't tell me you're drinking," Sungmin stated with a hint of scolding in his voice. "I'm on my way home and I'm still not drunk," she responded as-a-matter-of-factly.

Heechul gave Sungmin a light nudge. "Ask her if she took the bus," he hissed discreetly, to which the younger just nodded. "Did you take the bus?" Sungmin repeated near his phone's receiver. There was a pause as Min Yu debated on whether to tell him the truth. "I'm just walking," Min Yu admitted truthfully. Kyuhyun a quick breath and tossed an accusing glance towards Donghae.

Siwon, however, had his car keys in his hand. "Ask her where she is," he ordered Sungmin, suddenly forgetting all about s. But the older didn't mind in a dire situation like this. "Where are you? I'll send Siwon on his way to drive you home," he exclaimed hastily, all aegyo and cuteness wiped away from his panic-stricken face. There was silence on the other line. The love was passing.

"I'm fine," she muttered, and Sungmin had to cover his phone's receiver so Min Yu wouldn't have to hear all the members as they scrunch their faces and groan at the familiarity of those two words. Min Yu's version of 'I'm fine' meant that she was either drinking and already drunk or she was about to jump off a hundred-storey building. It was enough to get their hearts beating right out of their chests.

Meanwhile, the girl blew on her cold palms as the wind blew stronger. "Is Donghae still there?" she asked softly. All the eyes on the table shifted to look at Donghae. "Yes. Why?" Sungmin demanded. "Don't tell him I've left, but if he does ask, make up some excuse or something. We don't talk anymore, not that we can't keep our mouths shut before when we were together, when things were much better than they are now. Has he eaten yet?" said Min Yu, her change of tone noticeable. The love was passing.

The man in question looked down at the array of food he had ignored and immediately felt guilty. Sungmin, clearly not knowing what to do, turned to Siwon for assistance, mouthing, "What do I tell her?" They all returned the same clueless shrugs. Before Sungmin could say another word, Min Yu already heaved a sigh. "I thought so. I bet Sun Hye would have presented him with much better food. But that's all I can give him."

"And tell him I'm sorry for not getting him anything. I only ate street food for two months just to get everything going. Everything was getting out of hand. I had school, I have a father to take care of...it must have been the reason why Donghae slowly drifted away. I wouldn't blame him, though. Sun Hye wouldn't probably have to save up money just to take you all out to dinner like I did. But don't tell Donghae any of these," she added.

Donghae wanted to shove all the food down his throat at once and proudly tell her that he appreciated it in every little way, but as things always go, regret came last. There was a loud shuffling sound from the other line followed by a faint yelp of pain. "Min Yu-ah, are you okay in there? What happened?" Sungmin was on the edge of his seat. It was like watching a suspense movie, and the only difference was that he was one of the lead characters. The love was passing.

"PARK MIN YU, ANSWER ME THIS INSTANT!" he yelled, capturing the attention of other customers. It was a bad image to be in, but right now it wasn't their concern. On the other hand, however, Min Yu dusted herself off of the pieces of grass as she stared at the scrapes on her feet. "M-my phone just fell," she fabricated yet another lie while holding her shoes with her other hand. The soles of her favorite black sneakers have finally given up, causing her to trip on her own fault. The love was passing.

The bandage on her wrist was still there, a reminder of interrupted smart decisions. She couldn't bring herself to blame Kai, either. Maybe he was just doing his job as a friend. And Min Yu had a tight smile on her lips at the thought of her being important to someone. There was ruckus on the other line, and she didn't bother ask what the ruckus was about. But she cried anyway, violently and loudly that she had to sit down by the side of the road just until she could walk properly again. The love was passing.

The Super Junior members must have heard it, as they have stopped bickering about who gets to talk to her or who gets to be the first one to punch Donghae in the face. "Sssh. Don't cry. Tell me where you are and we'll be there as quick as we can, okay?" Sungmin tried comforting. But she went on to cry anyway, the kind of sobbing that was pitiful, as if someone just left...or rather something. The love was passing.

Siwon snatched the phone away from Sungmin's hands. This time, no one stopped him. "Min Yu, stop crying. It won't do or bring you any good. You're just hurting yourself. It's not worth it. He's not worth it. You know you deserve be--" "Liar!" Min Yu exclaimed, cutting him off. "You all tell me I deserve better, but no one is willing to give it to me. I just don't want anything anymore." And with that she hung up. The love was passing.

Heechul eyed Donghae in close scrutiny as the latter buried his face in his hands. "Tell me what the hell is wrong with you and can you please explain to me why you have to treat her like that?" the older asked, his tone calm. Donghae kept his head bowed down and low, expressing his guilt and remorse. But it wasn't going to make things any better. The love was passing.

"Tell me. Because one day, you're going to want her. You're going to want the girl who would rather be hit by a spatula than not kiss you, the girl who would get hurt multiple times because of you but still see you as the most innocent person she has ever laid eyes on. You're going to miss the girl who would tolerate you when no one else does anymore." Heechul pushed his chair back and stood up. "By the time you realize that, it will all be too late."

Meanwhile, the girl remained sprawled by the curb, watching the vehicles as they pass by the road in front of her. After a while, her crying toned down until it became completely silent, except for the occasional ring of her phone as the members all tried to reach her wherever she was. Her blank eyes were fixed on the empty space ahead. Her feet were red and her eyes were red and her nose was red and her wrist was red.

From the corner of her eye, a familiar car came dashing to full speed. But Min Yu remained still and immobile. She wasn't expecting anything, just as she hadn't expected someone to pull her out of the pool of grief she had filled herself. The vehicle came to a halt by the pavement, and she wondered if the driver wanted to run over her. She wouldn't blame him though. The window by the driver's seat opened, revealing her salvation.

~Short update, I know :( but I'll make the next one longer. Who's the driver?!?