I'll Back Off So You Can Live Better - G.Na

Narrator's POV

"We're here," Chunji prodded Min Yu awake. "Can't you just...like..." her arm fought back weakly. Seconds ticked and Chunji was left hanging. "Like..." she repeated, but fell back to sleep. Apparently, 7 hours of sleep wasn't enough for her. 

"Ya, I'm not going to carry you to get out," he shook her shoulders. But she didn't budge. "Can't you just like...drag me out?" she suggested, still with her eyes closed sleepily.

Chunji smiled at how cute she acted, but managed to wake her consciousness. "Come on. It's five in the morning and we're going to be late for our flight," he reminded with a quick glance at his watch.

"Fine," she stumbled out of the cab and followed Chunji. He breathed deeply to calm his nerves. He wanted his act to be realistic. If not, Min Yu would know something was up. And he didn't want to risk failing his plan.

He put her bag down and patted the space for her to sit on. "Wait here. I'll just check something on the front desk, okay? Stay awake! I'll be back," he excused himself and instead of walking towards the front desk, he took advantage of her sleepiness to walk over an ignored corner. "Did you get his information?" Chunji answered as soon as someone picked up his call.

"He's staying at the YHA, just a kilometer away from Bangkok Airport. You told me he's famous right? But he's staying at a one-star hotel," the man from the other line said. "Really? Are you sure you followed the right person?" Chunji exclaimed, glancing occasionally to where Min Yu was sitting.

"Affirmative. I even saw him exiting the building yesterday. He stays at the fourth floor, room 151," the man replied. "Fine. Book Park Min Yu for a week in the room closest to him, arasseo? I'd send you the money later," and with that, he hung up the call.

Chunji headed back to his spot beside his girlfriend, who was still craving for some sleep. "We have a problem," he informed and Min Yu stood up immediately. "WHAT? WHY?" she looked around at her surroundings to search for her imaginary threat.

"Sit down," he laughed and pulled at her wrists. "There seemed to be a problem with my ticket. So you go first, and I'd stay here and fix everything. But they told me it would only take a few hours, so no worries," he explained, choosing his words carefully.

"What problem?" she asked curiously. He anticipated her to be pressing over little details so he wasn't taken off guard. "The information on my ticket and the information on their computer didn't match. They said I was Lee Chanhyung, and that Lee Chanhee was booked on a flight to Macau," he stated with an air of irritation, masking his nervousness.

His indifference matched with those of the same plight as him, dealing with visa misinformation and flight cancellation, and fitting perfectly without a hitch on his flawless acting. "Do you want me to argue? I'm good at shouting," she offered jokingly.

They both watched as a family of four passed by, stopping in front of them. The father was about to leave, but his children's grip on his clothes didn't loosen one bit. "Min Young feels that way whenever Leeteuk goes overseas," she muttered, her heart almost clenching at the tearful children talking to their father.

"I don't want to travel alone," she whined, her eyes suddenly alert and awake. "You won't. I'll follow soon after. Now hurry, you don't want to miss your flight, do you?" he helped her with her luggage and stayed with her until they reached the departure area.

"When you get out of Bangkok airport, hail a cab and tell the driver to bring you to YHA. Once you get there, tell them your name and wait for me, understood?" he held his finger up like a naggy mother.

She just nodded in response and started to walk away with her bag slung lazily over her shoulder. But she stopped in her tracks in the middle of the busy airport and turned around, as if forgetting something.

She caught up with Chunji and embraced him tightly. He smiled and fought the tears struggling to leak out of his eyes. He turned around, only to hug her back.

He closed his eyes and inhaled her scent, knowing how he'll miss it dearly after she leaves. "Don't miss me, okay?" he teased. "And don't go around flaunting your Chunji tactics to girls here in the airport and forgetting all about this, arasseo?" she pointed to the ring on her finger. "Or else this very ring would break your nose," she threatened.

Chunji chuckled and pulled her back into his arms, loving how she fits in perfectly, warm and safe. "I love you," he muttered for the last time, as if a souvenir and a remembrance. "I love you too," she whispered and brought her lips against his.

For Min Yu, it was just another display of affection, a sign of her dear love for him. But for Chunji, it was a desperate call for arms, as if she knew what was going to happen. It was his last, and his farewell to the future he had gifted her together with the engagement ring on her finger.

He pulled away first, knowing he was just prolonging his suffering. "You should go," he reminded and pointed to the queue of people boarding the same plane as she. She flashed him a smile before running off to fall in line, while he waved goodbye.

Chunji's POV

"What's taking you so long? I'm so bored and I have no one to talk to," she complained after I picked up the call. I breathed deeply before replying. "I'm not coming," I said.

"WHAT? You told me you'll be here. You told me you'd follow," I could imagine her pouting like the little girl she is. "I didn't promise you anything," I replied, biting my trembling lip.

"Quit playing with me. Are you hiding here somewhere? I want to see you. You know how I hate being alone," she muttered and the shuffling of feet was evident in the background.

"I'm not coming," I repeated, trying to sound more convincing for her. She knows I would never do something like this, but people do unexpected things at unexpected times like now.

"Then I'm going home," she said defiantly. "STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING!" I shouted angrily, the words come blurting out of my mouth in huge volumes, together with enormous waves of emotions coursing through me.

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," she fought back calmly. "OH COME ON. You know EXACTLY why I chose Thailand," I said.

"Are you teasing me? Are you tempting me because you know that I once cheated on you with Donghae? You want to see me crumble over my past mistakes in front of your own eyes?!?" she sounded furious too, even if we were oceans apart.

"I already told you I'd marry you. Isn't that enough? You still want proof that I won't ever cheat on you again? Then you lose. You know that I mean everything I say. If I tell you I won't ever cheat on you again, then I won't!" she continued, her voice shaking as if she was about to break down and cry.

"This is a really dirty joke, Chunji. Come on, where are you?" she asked again, still under the spell of thinking this was all a joke. "Tell me honestly, for the past eight years, did you really love me?" I asked the question I've been dying to know the answer to ever since she accepted me to be her boyfriend. "Of course," she replied bluntly.

"Tell me, were you happy?" I demanded out of curiosity.

"Always," she answered. "But you were always at your happiest with Donghae, am I right?" I pressed, and attentively waited for her answer. "Chunji..." she started to whine. "AM I RIGHT?" I yelled in anguish, bitter tears leaking out of my eyes. Yet she didn't respond.

"YOU SAID YOU MEAN EVERYTHING YOU SAY. SO TELL ME, YOU WERE ALWAYS AT YOUR HAPPIEST WITH DONGHAE, RIGHT?" I screamed over the phone, but all I heard was Min Yu crying.

"You never loved me. You just said you do, but you don't. I know you so well, Min Yu. I know you more than you know yourself. Remember when we had fought one day inside my car, arguing which one of us was smarter than the other? Well, it's me. I'm smarter than you, and I could see a lot more in my own point of view. 

Ever since I saw you, you were already attached to him in many ways you didn't realize. It was Donghae who knows what you want to do, what you need, what you feel...even until now.

He knows what you need, and it's him. That's why he left you eight years ago. That's why he came back five years later. That's why he never had anyone else, because he has you."

"But I chose you over him," she defended.

"That's why I'm not going to Thailand," I stated.

"But you told me you'd marry me," she protested. "I don't want you to make another mistake you will regret for the rest of your life. I love you so much that I can't bear it seeing you with me when you could be happier with someone else. Happiest even," I cried, all the emotions taking over.

"But I love you--" she cried. "No," I cut her off while shaking my head, as if she could see me disagree. "No, you don't. But Donghae? He loves you a thousand times more. And I know he could do a better job than me. He could make you smile from ear to ear.

I can't.

He could understand you.

I can't.

He could give you everything and anything you want.

I can't."

"And quit lying to yourself. You love him as much as he loves you too. Face it, you never regretted sleeping with him. You just felt sorry for me. And now I'm letting you go, so there would be no more reason for you to be regretful with the things you really want to do."

"You don't understand. I gave him up for you--" she reasoned out. "And I don't want you sacrificing your own happiness just for an unimportant person like me.

Your father told me one of the greatest lessons in life. All that mattered to me is your happiness, and it didn't matter if it would cost me my own. I care for you more than myself, and I want you to be happy, even if I won't be the reason behind your smile."

"I'm not the lifesaver you've been looking for. I can't save you from yourself. At this moment and at the moments after this, Donghae would be doing everything I can't do.

He's the reason why you never accepted my first proposal. He's the reason why you went to North Korea. He's the reason why you came back to normal after being traumatized. He's the disease, yet the medicine at the same time.

And I'm starting to think that he's the reason why even if you get into almost all of near-death experiences, you still manage to stay alive, because someone's waiting for you. Donghae's waiting for you to come back to him."

"And that's true love, right? It's knowing that even after every wrong thing he has done, every mistake he has committed, no matter how grave or how petty, just one 'Sorry' erupting from his lips would be enough to cleanse out every record of his deeds. Love really IS blind, isn't it? And now I'll pretend I can't feel anything, so do me 2 favors," I requested.

"Anything," she sniffled, her voice getting caught in from all her crying. "First, look for Donghae. I've left you a week to search every corner of Thailand to look for him. You have to find him. Don't let my love and effort go to waste," I ordered.

"Second?"

"I want you to keep the ring. I'll always love you, even if you'll probably have a different ring on your finger when you come home. You have to understand that I'm doing this just for you to be happy. If you're happy, then I'll be happy for you," I said, finishing off my farewell.

"Do me a favor in return," she conditioned. I never expected her to raise up a deal, but what the hell. "What is it?" I asked. "Get inside. You're going to be sick if you continue loving the coldness," she said, making me smile despite the tears I have shed.

Then silence took over afterwards. Funny how the mutual, unsaid words made more sense than the spoken ones. It was not a matter of who she can live with for the rest of her life. It was the question of who she can't live without. And it was clear what her answer would be.

"You heard the girl say it so. Now get inside," L.Joe shouted from behind. I shoved my phone inside my pocket and wiped the already dried tears. "If she was here, she would have smacked your head. You know how she hates being called that," I commented with a short chuckle.

I told myself yesterday that for the next 24 hours, I have to break up with her and move on. I was done with the breakup. I'm just working on the 'move on' part.