The Girl Who Can't Break Up And The Guy Who Can't Leave - Lee Ssang

Min Yu's POV

Day 217

"And you believed?" he asked with a hint of sarcasm.

As a response, I only nodded curtly. He let out a warm exhale before enclosing his lips around the straw. He drank contentedly for a while until the other end of the straw hit air, signaling that the plastic cup -- once filled with who-knows-how-many milliliters of Coke -- is now empty. L.Joe patted his stomach gently, as if savoring the fact that the soda is already inside him. "Really?" he turned back to me with a curious look.

I repeated the nod, to which he ruffled my hair. He slumped back on the chair and propped his feet up on the vacant chair in front of him. Psh. Typical L.Joe.  I let out a snort preceded by my amused reaction. "That reminds me..." He reached over to his right, rummaging through his backpack for something. Finally, Teen Top's mischievous rapper hands me a thick, hard-bound book.

The piece of literature landed on the table with a loud thud. I looked around me to see if anyone in the small cafe felt even the slightest bit of tremor. "What's this for?" I demanded, flipping through the different pages. "It's in French." L.Joe made himself comfortable in his seat and put both his hands behind his head with his eyes closed. "Thought you might appreciate it."

And, suddenly remembering something, the lad sat upright. "Don't you go changing the topic!" exclaimed Byunghun, startling me with his immediate change of mood. "What?" I threw him a what-did-I-do-again look. He stared at me intensely while his free hand combed through his hair. "What happened after you forgave him? Did he kick the other girl out, whatever her name is?"

"Of course he didn't!" It was my turn to exclaim a little loudly. L.Joe's eyes narrowed, as if my tone was purely unconvincing. He remained still and unblinking, making the atmosphere so awkward that I just had to give him a wake-up thump on the head. He winced and covered the affected area, trying to avoid getting more hits and shielding himself.

I forced him to sit properly. "Who told you all these?" The question came blurting out. Who told him all these, anyway? No one else was supposed to know this except..."I have my sources," said L.Joe confidently. "And by sources, you mean Kyuhyun, Eunhyuk, possibly Ricky." I nodded to myself. If they would talk about me behind my back, they could have made it more discreet.

"I expected Donghae to be a battered boyfriend, you know, the one being dragged around shopping malls because of you. But now I think the world has turned and all the cards are now against you." L.Joe declared suddenly, his eyes closing as he spoke. "Tell me what you last ate or drank. I need to know why things turned out to be this way. Or did you just believe all the lies he had said because they sound beautiful?"

His all-too-straight-out statements made it hard for me to defend my side. "It's not that," I shrugged and became reunited with my forgotten mug of already-cool espresso. "If not, why didn't he kick the girl -- afflicted with leukemia or something -- to leave? Are you THAT blind not to see that he's cheating on you?" L.Joe almost pulled his hair out from its roots in exasperation.

"He's not cheating on me!" I defended, although something told me that I myself doubted my own statement. The Teen Top member ran his hand up and down my back. What was he comforting me for, anyway? "Min Yu, he's cheating on you. He's doing it behind your back because he knows it's better to ask for forgiveness -- if ever you catch him in the act -- than to ask for permission." And once again, I let out a loud protest. "He's not cheating on me!"

 "Oh really?" His eyebrow arched questioningly as we both shifted our gazes away from each other and towards the customers going in and out. It was an involuntary rhythm, the pattern their feet follow when walking. One foot ahead of the other, it was a trance-like movement everyone is attuned to. "You're over thinking again," commented L.Joe, as if he could clearly read my mind.

But then again, he could. I didn't move an inch and waited for what he was about to say next. There were no words that followed, however, and the silence commenced. Then his forefinger and thumb held onto my chin and forcefully twisted my head for me to look at him. His careful eyes probed every inch of my face. "What do you want?" I asked, shoving his hand away.

His lips were pursed as he moved onto examining my arms like I was on some kind of a surprise checkup. L.Joe's eyes widened as his gaze fell on a bruise by my wrists. "What's this?" His eyes never left the purple mark as he insisted to search for more, hoping to find any other. "For the record, that doesn't hu—ACK!" I choked over the last word as his finger poked on the bruise.

"You're telling me that it doesn't hurt?" He pressed on the mark several times, watching my poker face in close scrutiny. "You're telling me that it's not painful at all?" Byunghun locked his hand around my wrist and was surprised to notice that the bruise fits the place where his fingers are. He let out a sigh. "Who did this?"

You know how people hold onto something precious for dear life -- whether it be their money, their phone, or just anything that's worth treasuring -- just to protect or prevent it from getting lost? Yeah, it felt exactly like that. Just worse. Much, much worse. Her hand wasn't willing to let me go off so easily, what with the bruising hold on my wrist. "What did you tell him again, huh? You're really something, aren't you? Did you tell him what I had told you back at the dorm?" Sun Hye's voice pierced through the quiet, narrow hallway.

Wouldn't the others start looking for me? Heechul would probably ask about how long it takes me to get the bag he has left by the car and would immediately suspect something had gone wrong. I'd have to brace myself for that later on. The woman's fiery eyes urged me for a response, and I think I had satisfied her with a shake of my head no.

Her hold on me tightened. Could I possibly have done something she didn't like? "What did you two talk about a while ago?" she pressed. My brows were knit together in confusion. What was she talking about? "Don't act so innocent, little girl." Sun Hye emphasized on the last word. I cringed at her term. "So you're probably glad you two are starting anew. Romantic!" she exclaimed with a thick edge of sarcasm.

"I'm fine," I flashed a bright smile, but the lad beside me didn't look the least bit impressed. I exhaled sharply, tired of the unspoken disappointment he was nursing inside him. "Look, if you're going to force it down my throat that I'm being stupid and unreasonable right now, you don't have to. I've had 9 of the 15 members of Super Junior tell me the same darn thing," I raked a hand through my disheveled hair.

With his gaze focused on something else, L.Joe only grunted. "Then why won't you listen? It's plain take it or leave it, Min Yu. And you're not freaking Mother Teresa." He shifted in his seat and rested his hands on either of my shoulders. "Tell me. What did he do to you? What did Donghae say? What did he make you eat that's got you like this?"

I looked down at both my hands atop my lap. "Let me just say this: You're no saint. You're human, you get tired too. But damn it, you used to be so superhuman, smacking random people's heads and threatening the guts out of them and now, just a few words and you believe. Your pretty head has lots and lots of knowledge inside. Put it to good use." He patted my head like what people do with dogs.

L.Joe let his hands fall back to his side afterwards before eyeing my expression carefully. I punched his arm with all the strength I could gather. "Babo." Byunghun didn't look hurt and instead, he laughed. "That's my girl." He motioned to the waiter for another round of drinks, handing him folded bills before waving the staff member off.

"How's Chunji?" I asked all of a sudden. "Oh, you know that boy. He still loves you," replied L.Joe casually. "When is he coming back?" I ignored his statement. "I don't know," the lad rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed by the fact that he did not know the answer -- not because he just blurted out something I wasn't supposed to hear. His cheeks turned scarlet afterwards, still for the same reason.

I reached out to ruffle his hair, probably the most important thing to him -- maybe even more important than his basic needs. It was his true obsession: fussing over his hairstyle and making sure it was kept in place...or else he'll never stop touching it. "Ya!" he complained loudly and leaned forward, his hand threatening to hit me. With a big, playful smile, I closed my eyes and was ready to fake a hurt expression, but it didn't come.

My eyes opened, only to see L.Joe sipping on another large cup filled with none other than Coke, his face a combination of contentment and calmness. He wasn't angry at all? "You're no fun," I pouted, my lower lip jutting out. Byunghun only laughed as he pinched my cheek. "It's not for me to hit a woman. If I do, then it just shows I don't deserve one," he stated as-a-matter-of-factly.

Grasping the mug in between my hands, I finished the coffee, downing the remains. "So you're saying--" "Yes, I'm saying you should break up with Donghae. And don't you tell me I should call him hyung because right now, I'm acting more mature, more intelligent, and more responsible than him," L.Joe cut me off. "But maturity has worn off of that guy."

"Really now?" I outlined the rims of the mug with my forefinger, tracing the marks where my lips were. "Actually, I don't know what maturity really means. But for me, it's when someone hurts you, and you forgive them rather than hurting them back. In this case, whatever you say won't matter. Call me whatever name you can think of, but I won't break up with Donghae."

I tilted my head to the side and immediately met his eyes. He didn't say a word, but I know it wasn't the answer he was waiting for. "And if you're about to ask: No, L.Joe. I won't get back with Chunji," I quickly added, turning to a different direction. He breathed deeply from what I can hear, what with the sound of air rushing back to his lungs after an exhale.

Our table was silent for a moment, with occasional people passing by us and recognizing I was with L.Joe. More than once, he flashed them a bright smile, but nothing more. After the warmth of his smile, the coldness of Lee Byunghun came like a brisk gust of wind. He snatched the book away from in front of me and drummed his fingers on its hardbound cover.

"Where in France did you get it?" I demanded, trying to fill the awkward atmosphere with casual, yet forced, conversations, though I wasn't new to it. "In Alsace," he replied curtly with an abrupt pause. "Well, what's it about?" I pressed, wanting to ask the right questions to keep him talking and talking and talking. Byunghun scanned through the pages. "It's about a girl who's acting all stubborn, not wanting to breakup with her boyfriend who, in turn, is also afraid to leave."

In response, I only pretended not to hear. L.Joe heaved another sigh. "Min Yu, no one else in the world cares for you unless you're pretty, you're dying, or you're really important. You're my best friend, so please listen to me just this once and leave Donghae. I'd rather see you live alone in a house while you knit and get surrounded by hundreds of cats until the day you die than see you being treated much much less than you deserve."

I, for one, didn't know for sure if he was serious at that moment. But after his statement, he stood up, fixed the collar of his plain blue shirt, and handed the book back to me. "I have to go," he stated, almost like he was asking permission to leave. "Thanks," I nodded towards the book. "Aren't you going to thank me for the coffee?" he rested his elbow on the table, anticipating what I would say next.

Smiling from ear to ear, I rolled my eyes at his act. "Thank you for the book and for the coffee." He held his finger up and wiggled it from side to side. "What about the time I spent with you?" L.Joe whined cutely. I chuckled with somewhat less amusement. "Thank you for the time, for the book, and for the coffee," I replied in defeat. He smiled victoriously before leaning in to kiss me on the cheek. "It was nice seeing you again," he muttered before jogging away.

A gust of wind hit me straight in the face as he scurried off to the exit, walking past through doors with his natural gracefulness. The glass doors swung back to their frame, ready to be pushed or pulled by the customers' forceful hands. I fumbled for the phone out of my pocket and immediately dialed his number without hesitation.

Multiple rings sounded faintly against my ear until he answered my call. "Annyeong~" greeted Donghae cheerfully, making a slow smile spread across my face. "Hey." I replied with somewhat forced enthusiasm. He didn't notice, thankfully, and went on. "How is L.Joe? Is he still there?" he pressed curiously. "No, he just left," I cleared my throat awkwardly to fill in the pause.

Donghae only responded with a low hum, and I could imagine him nodding to himself, indicating that he understood. "Will you have dinner with me later? Please?" I suddenly offered -- maybe even pleaded. I could hear his sharp intake of breath. My heart felt like a crumpled paper after he released a sigh, somewhat a foretelling of his upcoming rejection.

The muscle as big as my fist and in between my lungs pounded slowly, almost like I was about to die. It was like a movie in slow motion, the place where disappointments and heartaches collide. A mixture of both makes me less of a believer every single day that all my hopes go down the drain as if it wasn't founded in high expectations and effort.

But then again, if the two are lacking, then it isn't love I'm looking for, but rather perfection. And perfection is boring. Same old, same old. It was pretty silent, where he is right now. No one's yelling profanities from one corner of the room, and the phone is -- fortunately -- not being passed on from one person to the next. "I'll try, okay?" he said finally.

People have been wrong, after all. I do learn, not just in the same way they want me to. I know that 'I'll try' means no. 'Sorry' means no. 'I'm not sure' means no. 'I can't' means no. 'Thanks but...' means no. 'Maybe later' means no. Silence means no. Long pause means no. Uncertainty means no. And it's as if everything means no. And day by day, refusal by refusal, I become used to the feeling of rejection.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled regretfully. He must have sensed my lack of spirits, what with the ignored statements. "It's alright," I reassured Donghae. But he didn't say anything. Was I really that predictable? "Let's go out some other time, okay?" he consoled. And that was all it was, a consolation. He loves me today, tomorrow I don't mean a thing. Later, I'll be special, but next week, I'll be invisible.

Narrator's POV

The musky smell of the hospital was already a clue given off, somehow depicting what the patients are going through. May it be the smell of alcohol on the hands of sleepless doctors and nurses, or perhaps the metallic odor of blood -- there was still a hint, if not an edge, of the serious life-and-death matter at hand. It wasn't as if death was something fictional.

His room's curtains were drawn to the sides and kept in place by metal clamps placed by the hospital's maintenance staff. It was a beautiful day, as the sunlight brightened up the entire room. Not too bright and not too dark. The temperature was at a moderate level, too. Just perfect. The refreshing breeze came in from a slight crack through the windows.

It was ironic, however, that such a perfect day didn't mean a thing to her. It wasn't that she enjoyed wallowing in misery, but because she just couldn't find any reason or anything at all to be happy for. The smile that the girl wore minutes ago was just in the right blend with the good weather, though it was as fake as another one's promises.

And, currently not minding the way she held onto his hospital gown, the man tried his best to comfort her. Min Yu clawed on her father's skin while racking her brain for more happy thoughts that might possibly comfort her. But where are they? Where did the happy memories, the thoughts, the ideas, and subtle feelings of happiness go? And with that in mind, Min Yu only buried her face deeper on his shoulder.

Chun Hae tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, using his hand plastered with multiple tubes guiding the flow of various medicines from the plastic container to his bloodstream. "I told you one too many times before. And you don't seem to liste--" "I don't want!" The girl cut him off in midsentence. He exhaled out of frustration.

He kept his eyes closed as he fought with every nerve in his body against the hovering sleepiness beginning to take over. Who knows what will happen if he becomes unconscious until the next few hours? Chun Hae didn't want to wake up to a sink of blood. Or perhaps he was just being paranoid and exaggerated? Nonetheless, staying awake was the least he could do at the moment.

"What did he do again?" He asked, his fingers busy her hair. She had his eyes, though it wasn't the first time he had noticed it. Her nose was her mother's, making her undoubtedly beautiful. Chun Hae stalled at the idea that he might have indirectly affected Min Yu's situation right now, knowing quite well she might have known better if she had been brought up by a complete set of parents. The guilt began to form as a lump in his throat.

She hugged her knees closer to her chest, her torso bent over the lone hospital bed which, fortunately, cooperated by silencing its squeaks despite the added weight. Min Yu shook her head no and battled on what could probably be worse than what she was experiencing right now. But in one way or another, she was glad she had come to her rightful place beside her father.