Username: ThatOneOtherWriter

Story Title (&link): Hohoemi

Main Characters (+pairings): Big Bang, DBSK, Super Junior, EXO, NU'EST

Genre(s): Angst, Tragedy

Current Length (No. of Chapters): 1

Rated?: No.

Reviewer: KissDromedaGirl

_______________ ✦일부분 일; part one; the beginning. ✦_______________

Title;  5/5

    It's a different one, I'll give you that. So instantly, I look to the description and/or forward to see if there's an instant connection to it, an explaination, or if I'll have to wait it out and see what this word means.
    And then I find it. Amongst the writings located in the Foreword, I find the gem; Hoehoemi means "smile" - and for a story that is packed with action, and from the Foreword and that wonderful glimpse in to the world we're about to read about... I think the title fits perfectly!It definitely caught my eye, being different and all. And if there happen to be Japanese speakers out there who see it as "smile", maybe they'd click, too.
And I know it may be a bit simple, especially if you translate to English - "smile" - I'd probably note the simplicity, but I do, in fact, like it a lot.
 

Poster/Background;  4.5/5

    I love the alignment of the faces and the dark overshadow featured on it - it helps the title shine brighter. But, then again, all the faces are cluttered, which kinda upsets me. Being no graphics wiz, I can't really talk, but I feel like the faces could come out in a cleaner line. I do like it though. I feel the dark aura and no one is happy in the images; the title and subtext is great, too. "United we stand. United we fall." It tells us of war, instantly. I love it.

Description & Foreword;  8/10

    I enjoy the Description quite a bit! It tells of a basic summary of what happened - the war, how Asia's people are being pulled in to battle. And I think that realistically, this makes a whole lot of sense as to why all the idols appear. They fight for their country and allies as they go against Russian soldiers and leaders-- And I like how you mention everyone is being in, even the ones who are down the ladder and poor. Some people only talk about the celebs bringing taken in to war and blah blah. So, I like your description. It tells me straight forward of what to expect.

    Foreword-wise... I absolutely adore it! It gives not only the meaning behind the title, but it shows the mentality of those going to fight... They talk about a dead comrade and how all he did was smile... and now it's fading. Their moods are so down... but yet... it's not over. It's brilliant and makes me want to read on!

_______________ ✦두 번째 부분; the second part; the seam.✦_______________

Creativity/Originality;  5/5

    I've seen many war fics, I've seen people push Choi Seunghyun in to the leading role because of his movies. And during this, I saw you compare his acting in war movies to the reality he was set in... brilliance at its finest!
I adore who you pick out first, bringing their thoughts in to the mix and even showing the reality of fear, questioning it all, not wanting to go but knowing deep down, maybe, just maybe, it's best if you do. We're seeing idols being picked from their pedestals and dropped in to real-time battle and I love it! I applaud you!
 

Plot;  20/20

    I haven't seen such a good war-based fic in a long, long, while. And how this is between Russia and Asian armies, minus the interruption by the United States (which would totally cause more harm, as stated) - I adored seeing it all unfold in one tiny chapter. Though I would honestly love to see more!

    I love the characters being picked and witnessing them blossom and even wilt. It's an amazing thing, your story and writing. With these types though, you can nevre really be sure of who dies and what comes of the war... so... it's something leaving me on a cliff. Hanging.

    /shoot me for lame puns

Spelling, Vocab, and Grammar;   15/15

    Let me say that I cry tears of joy with your grammar and vocabulary skills. I just- I haven't read a story with such amazing detail and words to represent even the simplest and smallest of things. From analogies that made me smile at such a creative comparison, to the phrases said, all the way to the scenes you plotted out in such a beautiful way; I'm stunned by your writing. No mistakes, no wrong usages that I could find. Bravo!

Characterization;   15/15

    DBSK, at their CEO's command, and the command of their country, are being whisked away in to battle between nations. Yunho, having to be strong, Jaejoong being scared of what to tell his mother, Junsu not really sure what to feel, Changmin living to try and help. We see Big Bang's T.O.P, sitting and staring at his hat as his heart probably sinks and his mind is cluttered with "what ifs" and "if I don't survive" - he is real. He is so real, and so delicate, and so hug-worthy because this isn't his movie, this is life and what it's come down to!

    We have glances of Shindong being so sullen and stone cold to the world. Henry is the father-figure of the moment, standing supportively to his seniors. And it's heartwarming, yet heartbreaking at the same time... And then the sad, moving part of Donghae just... facing his fate and what's to come of him thanks to this. He not only worries over himself, no. He worries for those rookies who will be brought in, only to die for such a rough and blown up cause. Everyone is worried for those they care for, their friends- Donghae wonders what'll become of them, even if they die. If their body will remain as one piece.

    I JUST WANT TO CURL UP IN A BALL AND SOB. Stories rarely move me unless I can feel the pain or wantonness or even the happiness flowing through the intricately places words. And yours... my, oh my, I have been moved. And then... I get zilch because you had to stop writing. I cry internally. I'd love to see these characters, and others, go through battle and see what becomes of them- who they truly are and so forth.

_______________ ✦일부분 삼; part three; the little things. ✦_______________

Chapter Titles;  -/5

Number. No scoring.

Flow;  10/10

If you can't tell, I am basically in love with this story. And even the flow is appropriate for such a storyline and how things go. You don't skip a lot of days or weeks or even months. You go from scene to scene with ease and it's over a course of a day or two, and it shows a gracious amount of detail and dialogue. So, I'm really happy with it.

Writing Style (format + your style);  10/10

From only one chapter- even before when I read the Foreword... I'm so hooked. And now... I must beg you keep on keeping on. You are phenomenal!

Extra & Notes; (+10)

    I absolutely love this so much and want more. I haven't been this happy with a fanfiction in so long and I just want to go and share it and shove it in peoples' faces, you know? Even if that one chapter is forever the end of it, I was still glad to experience such a thrill of a chapter and the amazing writing it featured! :)

Total Score; ♡

102.5

>> Reviewer Note; ♡

spazz, spazz. Yours is going on the top scoring list. <3