Username: signup

Story Title (&link): Waiting For His Call

Main Characters (+pairings): Kris, Tao, Lay and EXO

Genre(s): Drama, Romance, Tragedy

Current Length (No. of Chapters): 9 Chapters

Rated?: No

Reviewer: thelittleluhan

_______________ ✦일부분 일; part one; the beginning. ✦_______________

Title;  5/5

Let me just begin with this: your story is great. The title fit the plot so well, and the characters literally waiting for another’s call was carried through all nine chapters and seriously, a round of applause from me to you.

This was a title that at first glance already gave me an impression of an angst/drama/tragedy type of story, and I’m a complete and utter er for those genres (reason why I chose to review your story). Upon reading more into the story I found that the title had basically covered the entire plot from Tao waiting for Kris to call him and Kris waiting for Tao to return a call and never being able to because of certain incidents, leaving him waiting for Tao’s call forever.

Then I began thinking about it more (and perhaps I’m reading way too deeply into this at this point) but I also felt like since Kris was now gone it’s just a waiting game now. He’ll be waiting for when he and Tao can be reunited again wherever and whenever that may be. ‘Waiting’ really is the keyword I got from this.

For me, if a title can make me think on different levels that’s a title deserving of a full mark.

Poster/Background;  5/5

The poster is definitely very relevant and a great representation of what the story entails. I could tell from it that the story revolves around Kris’ departure from Exo and that it is a Taoris-centric story as these two characters are on the poster.

The colour scheme being grey and black/white gave the feeling of sadness, one of the main emotions used in the story and one that I found myself feeling 100% of the time as I read your narrative.

Description & Foreword;  6/10

For the Description I gave you a half way mark because it was short but sweet. It left a lot relying on the title and the poster to give the story a meaningful first impression. Regardless I’d say that it is sufficient. You don’t need a lot to give your readers a preview of what is to come because your title and poster have already done that. Your description very obviously indicated a romantic genre, a sad romance story between two people living their lives separately.

I gave you a half way mark for the Foreword because I really liked how you used the lyrics of Wu Yi Fan’s song and incorporated it well with the meaning of the story. As I read your story I felt that it became more and more relevant, and even Tao and Kris’ relationship reflected the song’s meaning.

Although your description and foreword is enough, it just barely scraped that line. I need more than just three very short sentences for your description. I need to have a clue of what is going to happen somehow other than what I already know. I have to be speculating, and I didn’t get that.

______________ ✦두 번째 부분; the second part; the seam.✦______________

Creativity/Originality;  3/5

The only reason I’m not giving you a full mark here is because the event you based this fanfiction on is hardly unique. It’s an event that I’m sure many other writers have written about, however this does not mean that I didn’t think you made the story yours.

Plot;  12/20

The plot like I said isn’t anything new. It took predictable turns, save for the ending (which I completely didn’t see coming).

Spelling, Vocab, and Grammar;   15/15

As far as I can remember and am concerned with you have perfect spelling, vocabulary and grammar. Kudos to you!

Characterization;   12/15

I really liked the way you wrote Tao. His feelings and bitterness about Kris’ departure was something I could relate to (as an EXO-L, of course) and he felt real. I often found myself thinking “Yep, that’s how I would react if I were in his shoes” whenever he would talk about Kris. Probably one of my favourite lines from him was:

 “You’re wrong! You just can’t see my expression properly through your tears. I’m smiling ge. I’m smiling. I’m so, so happy. So, so happy to finally be without that ing traitor!”

 I could just feel the raw anger and frustration he had and was holding in inside of himself. The way he was trying to convince Yixing felt like he was really convincing himself that he was okay and that he was happy because he knew inside that he wasn’t.

Kris’ letters felt very personal, I felt like he was writing to me instead of Tao. His personality came out a lot during those moments when he would think about and write to Tao. 

I’m not giving you a full mark here because I feel like there had been room to develop certain characters even if they were minor, for example Hyunkyun as he had many appearances throughout the story.

_______________ ✦일부분 삼; part three; the little things. ✦_______________

Chapter Titles;  5/5

Full mark given here because all the titles fitted very well with the content of each chapter.

Flow;  10/10

As far as I remember, I don’t think I ever stopped to reread a sentence or consider the flow between each scene. I just read and it flowed smoothly so I have nothing much to say here. Good job!

Writing Style (format + your style);  10/10

I found your writing style to be very smooth and personal. Your third-person point of view didn’t leave me wanting to know more or wanting to know less. You left out what wasn’t relevant and kept what was.

Extra & Notes;

Personally I am not a sailor aboard the Taoris ship (if you get what I mean), but I really did enjoy your story. Like I said before, the characters especially Tao reacted the way I expected them to in a situation like that. I could relate to so many of them, Lay and Tao especially and even Xiumin no matter how minor he was. I just had several thoughts on Hyunkyun-hyung because the media has painted SM staff to be … almost unjust with the way they treated their idols, and fellow work mates. With my knowledge of the situation I felt like Hyunkyun was too lenient in your story, however it was nice that he was kind and let Tao and Kris communicate. Who knows, it might’ve been like that in real life too. 

Total Score; ♡

83